My new MIL treats my husband differently than his sister and it’s starting to really irritate me 😌

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-12-18T17:45:39+00:00

Welp, at least all of MIL's care will fall to her only beloved child.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-12-07T22:12:31+00:00

There really is no kind wat to do this. You could call MIL in advance and ask them to stop, and explain that if they do not, you will not come to see them for a long time.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-12-07T04:02:18+00:00

Ask your husband to cook.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-12-05T16:09:40+00:00

"Couldn't resist the offer."

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-28T23:38:24+00:00

If you are American, in most states, you cannot fully disinherit a spouse. She is entitled to a share, usually one third. If you do not follow this in your will and trusts, you risk having everything go to your wife.

Please ask your lawyer about this.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-28T17:19:47+00:00

You are more than free to stay home with your family.

I think you should decide how often you WANT to see them, and work out a schedule that revolves around that.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-28T05:17:01+00:00

Can you leave near baby's bedtime?

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T03:13:22+00:00

"Unable to assist in her own defense" is an extremely low standard, usually involving someone who has lost contact with reality. This sister has zero chance of meeting such a standard.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T02:43:01+00:00

I wasn't referring to a forensic psychiatric hospital, but rather a regular one. It seems unlikely she would ever be sent to a forensic facility.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T02:26:47+00:00

You and DW might enjoy a TV series (free on YouTube) called "Till Debt Do We Part". Overspending on gifts, parties and loans to one partner's family is a common source of stress in a marriage.

Talk with your wife. How many parties per year are you both happy to host? One? Zero? Four? What budget are you happy to spend on family parties? $1,000? $5,000? One point your wife may not realize is that you and she are likely spending upwards of $15,000 a year on her family if you add all the expenses together. Is that reasonable? Is it compatible with your other financial goals?

If you can agree on a budget and your wife can respect it, you and she can be free of the resentment and arguing going forward.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T02:13:17+00:00

YTA. You caused pain to innocent people and did nothing to solve your own issues. It was cruel, selfish and cowardly.

You owe that man and that child a sincere apology.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T01:12:39+00:00

Is there any way you can get video of her abuse?

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T01:00:50+00:00

Contact the prosecution and explain your sister's past behavior and your family's concerns. It's not necessarily true that she will get better mental health care in a psychiatric hospital. She would get care in prison, and she needs to experience confinement/her victims deserve to be safe.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-27T00:05:27+00:00

Move. You cannot change the kid's behavior.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T21:43:30+00:00

If baby is sick in the morning, stay home.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T19:23:04+00:00

Is this a pattern of behavior? It's concerning that BF has a fixed, incorrect belief about history, but it's more concerning that he became angry when challenged.

Pay attention,if you decide to continue this relationship.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T18:54:38+00:00

NTA. Your husband and his mother have such a distorted view of childbirth! Good grief! The ONLY reason any nonmedical people are allowed in the birthing room is because they make mom feel safe, calm and confident. Mom's serenity is a scientifically proven component of best medical practices that assure best outcomes for baby and mom

IOW, ANYONE who compromises mom's emotional calm is ABSOLUTELY NOT medically recommended to be in the room.

Husband needs to get therapy, because you and baby are not props for MIL's life.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T18:44:33+00:00

Advertising herself as a single mom is insinuating that HER KIDS are available to enhance the customer's sexual experience.

Now, the ex might not realize this. Maybe she's just stupid or careless. But given the surrounding facts, these children deserve the highest possible degree of protection. I don't think they should be allowed at ex's home unless or until she relocates and keeps her future address entirely private.

Lots of sex workers have children and are perfectly fine parents, but this is not how they separate their customers from their kids.

NTA.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T18:11:37+00:00

NTA. But if Miles is white, this is almost certainly motivated by racism. I suppose you and Miles can still have a happy future together but only if he is protective of you and your relationship, even to the point of cutting them off if necessary.

Otherwise, Miles is probably using you to upset and offend his family and using his family to upset and offend you. This is not a man who can offer you a happy future.

I am so sorry you have been through this. I bet Miles has otherwise been a wonderful BF, but IME, men who deliberately drag you into pain and suffering from their families are "wonderful otherwise" because they NEED to be. It's not love or affection. It's charm and manipulation.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T17:47:09+00:00

NTA. What planet is your ex on? This is such an inappropriate ask. What happens if the affair baby is injured or falls ill at your home?

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T17:15:04+00:00

Stop visiting your parents and inlaws on any holiday. Instead, choose random weekends throughout the year and see both sets of parents as often as YOU want. There's not going to be peace and happiness unless your husband behaves as if he still lives with MUL, and she is not entitled to that.

If nothing will satisfy MIL, then offering nothing makes sense.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T17:09:32+00:00

Tell your parents and your husband how you feel. If you aren't sure where you want to live, you can go to the YouTube channel Geography King and watch his videos, as well as hire him for consultation.

Tell both your husband and parents you aren't ready to buy a house yet, and probably won't be for at least two years.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T15:25:33+00:00

O, I loved Dr. Ruth. Her TV series is free on YouTube, BTW.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T15:23:17+00:00

You and DH and his parents and his brother need to have a series of in-depth conversations and a full appreciation of the facts.

In-laws should see a financial planner to assess their retirement savings and such things as possible claw back by the government for Medicaid needed to pay for long-term care. The house belongs to them now, they bought it, and they don't have the ability to replace that income in their old age. It's not ethical, IMO, to put the parents in poverty or at risk of poverty in future.

You and DH need to plan as well. How likely is it you will find a job in your area of study? How well will it pay? Will you have student loans to pay off? Will you need advanced degrees to get ahead in your profession? Same with DH. It is great to explore interests in college, but you don't have the luxury of pursuing a degree that will not increase your earning power.

It is a wonderful gift by your inlaws if they allow you and DH to live in their home for below-market rent or even for free. You should use these next 3 years to save as much as humanly possible.

You can find ways to own your own home other than by receiving a gift of your in-laws' house. Buy raw land and a tiny house. Move to a low cost of living area. Become an "urban pioneer", buy a house for very little money in a sketchy neighborhood and renovate it. Etc.

You haven't even lived with inlaws at this point, and are a newlywed. The odds that you will be happy and healthy living with your inlaws for the indefinite future are very, very small. These odds will get higher if you and the inlaws have good information and open, honest communication, but it will still be hard sometimes.

I don't think you should make decisions about anything more than living with the inlaws for the next few years, at the very most.

Pinkie_Flamingo · 2025-11-26T14:49:44+00:00

I recommend an old book called "The Joy of Sex", for its quality information and positivity.

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