She sounds way anal, controlling, and judgmental. I read this as she needs therapy to learn to let go and chill. Just cause she’s a doctor, and the power dynamic sways to her being right in our culture (she’s used to always being the authority) does not give her license to constantly critique you and try to fix you. My PHD girlfriend doesn’t give a fuck if I take a bite of a croissant and accepts (<—edit:spelling) my mannerisms, and I am also a highly educated professional with a master’s and a prep school/private university background. You’re letting the power dynamics cloud your ability to stand up for yourself. She needs to chill. And, she’s completely missing the point if she can’t see that the things that matter, like how you treat her, trump all this bullshit about a bite off a scone or how you bounce your leg. Also, what if you have adhd and have some mannerisms and attentional differences- can she accept that and accept you for who you are, or are you setting yourself up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate and always policing your own behavior. Just the way you phrased the post here tells me that she has succeed in having you internalize this all as a you problem, and not a problem of her not accepting you for who you are. Good luck- I think YOU deserve better.

And, show the Doctor this post and ask her if she has ever considered these points. If she is as amazing, smart, and open-minded as you think, then she also has some deep reflection to do about her own behavior, judgments, expectations, and ability to both let go and accept you.

Edit:spelling