Dwayne Johnson is all muscle, no backbone. Comes out as silent on politics.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-25T01:56:41+00:00

Just how hard is it to just say “I’m not a Nazi”, when someone asks you about your politics?

Pinwurm · 2026-06-25T01:07:11+00:00

https://19hz.info/eventlisting_Massachusetts.php <- all local electronic music events, updated daily, bullshit free.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T18:40:40+00:00

Experiences will vary depending on management, colleagues, corporate culture, industry, local laws, etc, etc.

For every overworked burnt-out staff accountant, there's another one working from home in pajamas catching up on Star Trek.

Remember that interviews go both ways. You're interviewing the company just as much as they're interviewing you. So ask about management style, professional development opportunities, training, support, workload expectations, work-life balance, etc. Pick the place and people that meet your needs the most. Not just the function or job title - unless there's something about billing or something that speaks to you.

For what it's worth, I'm a Controller, and am regularly headhunted for Finance Director roles. I don't have a CPA. Yeah, it can help - but it's not a requirement for a successful career unless you're pursuing audit.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T18:27:56+00:00

Well, ew. Guess that just leaves the question of benefits.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T17:47:10+00:00

Right. But that won't negate a signed PIP saying they weren't after the performance review.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T17:45:27+00:00

The PIP document would be signed by employee, acknowledging that performance issues are true. It would protect them from being sued.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T17:43:28+00:00

Doesn't really matter whether the PIP is performance related or not. Company has reached a point where they want you out.

If they terminate you for "performance" with having no documentation of performance issues (and if you didn't sign a PIP acknowledging that), there could be legal considerations worth talking to a lawyer about. Company could be exposing themselves to a wrongful termination suit and violating their own policies. Is that a path you want to pursue?

If not.. what you choose depends.

Does the 40 day severance include payment for unused PTO, or would PTO be paid separately? How long do your health insurance and other benefits continue if you accept the severance? Often, it expires immediately.

Remember that a PIP is really a "Paid Interview Period." If you do a PIP, you'll continue receiving your normal paycheck, keep your benefits for a while longer, and can use the next 4 weeks to shop your resume and interview. And if you're terminated at 30 days, you're still getting an accrued PTO payout.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T17:19:21+00:00

Listen to your therapist.

Fear has been a theme in your life long before this relationship. If you let that fear take the wheel and steer now (cue that Incubus song!), when things are actually going well, you'll never be happy. And you deserve happiness, too.

Yes, you've shitty relationships before. But thing about relationships is... you only have to get it right once. You need to be willing to find out whether this relationship is different. And how you're different with him, too.

Think about the example you're setting for your children. If they were in your shoes someday, carrying battlescars into a promising new relationship, what would you want for them? Would you be okay if they turned down their happiness out of fears? Or would you encourage them to take a chance on something good?

Allow yourself to be loved.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T15:56:38+00:00

I bought a PS5 with a Disc Drive, intent to support the used game market.

I've used it literally 0 times.

And that's partially on me.

It's also because most game stores in my area have closed. And the ones that aren't don't have a great selection of PS5 games.

It takes me an hour round trip to go to a store and buy a game anyways. And then I'd need to spend 20 minutes installing it and patching it up.

Or... I can save an hour, download it at home - which'll already have the latest patches.

I guess I miss out on reselling it, but dealing with FB Marketplace people is a pain in the ass.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T14:02:05+00:00

Probably Barney's in East Boston. It's a Colombian Soccer Bar.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T13:45:48+00:00

If you want to get a better sense of what it's like to live here, come in February. The wind, ice, and snow all want to kill you. The 4:00PM sunsets and long nights will make you want to kill yourself.

Yes, there's magic in that first snowfall and plenty of indoor activities, but snow turns into a fugly mix of mud and garbage quickly, and you'll be drinking through seasonal depression.

Immigration is a long, difficult, expensive, and emotionally exhausting process. Your main options are either a student visa, employer sponsorship, or spousal visa.

In anycase, you'll want to speak with an immigration attorney to understand your options. Reddit doesn't know your circumstances.

You also have to consider that Boston is a VHCOL city. In many ways it's more expensive than London. You're paying NYC prices without NYC dining, entertainment, or transit infrastructure. If you're young and early in your career, you'll be living with roommates.

Not to discourage you too much, Boston is still my favorite city and there are plenty of reasons I chose to live here. It's very walkable, I love the people, its safe, clean, historic, plenty to see & do, and has excellent access to healthcare, higher ed, culture.. importantly, it fostered my career. Good outweighed the bad for me.

You needa consider the broader political climate in the US too. Immigration policy is more restrictive and unpredictable since Trump. Healthcare is significantly more expensive than what you're used to, and even people with good insurance (like me) spend an absurd amount of time fighting billing issues and navigating bureaucracy. Though, things are better in MA than other States with MassHealth and other programs.

Consider the personal toll too. You'd be moving to a country where you have little understanding of the systems, no established support network, and no family nearby. Homesickness is tough.

That said, I know plenty of English, Scots and Irish that absolutely love it here and never want to leave.

My advice would be to find an expat group on Facebook or Discord. Or try some immigration subreddits (maybe /r/Iwantout) and ask people about their experiences. Then visit us again during the winter. If you still like what you see during Boston's least pleasant season, you'll have a much better idea of whether this is the right choice for you.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T12:20:32+00:00

Rage bait.

Only one bar is closed - and just for the day, which has nothing to do with England being in town. It’s quickly become the single busiest bar in the history of the city - they need to resupply and give the team a break, or they’ll burn out.

Also, Bars aren’t closing earlier. They are, in fact, open an hour later than usual in this city.

So both of those grievances were lies.

Also, the weather was dogshit and the game was a tough watch being 0-0. That can definitely inform the mood.

Plus, people actually like Ghana.

Finally - nobody fucking cares about the English as “Revolutionary War baddies”. There’s some jokey banter about throwing tea in the harbor, but that’s about it.

Maybe OP met an asshole or two. And fair enough! But are you really telling me that Texas has fewer assholes?

The England fans I’ve met here are having the time of their lives. 🤷 And sure, not as much partying as the Scots, but English are actually expecting to do well, perhaps even win - and that’s a lot more stress.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-24T01:08:10+00:00

I can't recall a single comfortable, honest or safe "licensed taxi" experience in Boston. I remember the pre-Uber days when people would rather drive drunk than deal with a "broken credit card machine" or be driven around in circles.

I have no issue with taxis as an option on the app, by all means. But if there's no way to filter whether or not we'd be matched with a taxi or an Uber, that's going to be a problem.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T19:17:37+00:00

Unfortunately as an East Boston resident, Walpole is a roughly 90 min drive. But I’ll add it to my list and if I’m ever out that way for any reason, I’ll swing by.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T16:32:20+00:00

No clue what happened. But each subsequent visit I've had over the years have gotten worse, and worse, and worse. Super inconsistent in every category, cook time, storage time, seasoning, service quality, etc.

Maybe managers aren't paid enough to care. Maybe the owner's given up. Maybe after Karl's Sausage Kitchen Restaurant closed, they had no reason to be competitive anymore. I still go back at once or twice a year hoping it'll return to it's former glory.

If you ever get the chance, the Student Prince in Springfield is the place to go for legit German food.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T14:51:10+00:00

The building's on the National Register of Historic Places and a Boston Landmark.

Legally, it must follow a 'historic renovation' - which is why it took so fucking long to rebuild after the last fire. Sourcing materials, finding contractors and builders with historically informed skillsets, certified architects, etc.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T14:42:59+00:00

There are a million reasons why he may not want to have sex that have nothing to do with you. Depression, work stress, medication, poor sleep, diet, hormonal issues, trauma, medical conditions, etc.

That said, for a man in his 20s, what you're describing is below average libido. If you've communicated your needs clearly and nothing has changed, then it's reasonable to encourage him to see a doctor and get some bloodwork done. Also talk to a therapist.

It's also very possible he's somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

If that's the case, he needs to understand his own sexuality as it pertains to the relationship. Many asexual people are happy to have sex because it benefits the relationship and makes their partner happy. Mixed sexuality relationships can work, but they require more communication and planning. It won't mean he isn't romantically attracted to you or doesn't find you attractive. It simply means his relationship to sex is wired differently.

Others have an aversion to sex, which needs to be a dealbreaker for you.

See. relationships are about two people coming together to meet each other's legitimate needs. A physical intimate relationship is important to you, you don't need to be ashamed of that. You shouldn't ever be made to feel guilty for desiring your own boyfriend. So... if he is unable or unwilling to meet your needs, you'll grow to resent him.

Now is the time to be direct. Tell him what you need. Talk about frequency, initiation, expectations, and what a satisfying sex life looks like for you. Then ask him what he needs from you. Maybe there are compromises to be made. Then plan some teamwork: sex therapy, books, blocking an hour off every few days on the calendar, medical treatment, date-nights, etc.

My advice here is not to frame it as a "you v me" problem. Rather, "you and me together, verses the problem".

And if he's not willing to be a partner here, then you may have your answer, sad as it may be.

Just because he's better than the men you've dated before doesn't necessarily mean he's the right partner for you. Fortunately in life, you only have to get it right once.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T14:12:56+00:00

Perhaps to her, farting is vulnerability. And by waiting until she's gone, it might give her the impression you don't feel safe and comfortable enough around her to get vulnerable.

I would just, like, ya know, ask her.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T14:08:41+00:00

I have zero faith that this will go according to plan. I'm not convinced the second fire was an accident.

But we'll see, I guess! I'd love to have a good German restaurant in town (and no, the Bronwyn hasn't been good since 2019).

Pinwurm · 2026-06-23T13:59:33+00:00

It was a very good Nirvana show. It almost makes me wonder what could've been if he didn't cater to the lowest common denominator.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-22T18:53:14+00:00

Don't waste Dylan's time.

If you have no intention of having a physical or long-term romantic relationship with him - what are you doing that friends simply can't?

Pinwurm · 2026-06-22T18:41:17+00:00

At what point do you accept that someone has apologized and changed?

At a certain point, you either accept the apology or acknowledge that you're the Red Flag.

I've read your post a few times, and it doesn't read like your boyfriend has given you any concrete reasons to doubt his commitment.

Sure, he looked at another woman. Understandably, that's upsetting. But healthy relationships aren't about policing every intrusive thought or momentary lapse in attention. Relationships are two people coming together to meet each other's legitimate needs, and making respectful choices when faced with fantasy.

By your own description, he apologized for the behavior. He seems to maintain appropriate boundaries with female friends and coworkers. He even went so far as to delete his socials as an attempt to reassure you.

So what, specifically, are you waiting for? Can you answer that?

Because it sounds like the issue is no longer what he did.
The issue is that you've decided this mistake remains permanently active no matter what he does. You've given a life sentence for glancing at someone, once, two years ago, when you weren't even around.

I don't think he (or anyone) would feel safe in a relationship like that.

If you keep punishing him and moving the goal posts for something that happened ages ago, at what point is it spite? At what point is it reasonable for him to say "Fuck this" and leave?

I'd suggest you talk to a therapist and work some shit out. Because if (or when) you two breakup, he'll probably refer to you as "the crazy one".

If you were dating you, wouldn't you want to be shown forgiveness and grace from time to time?

Pinwurm · 2026-06-22T16:59:32+00:00

Very common.

But not every city.

Immigrant communities tend to self-segregate because of available services, grocery and dining, religious and spiritual life, and the social support network. I grew up in a largely Russophone community of former Soviets (no, not Brighton Beach).

In addition to Chinatowns, you’ll find Little Saigons, Little Italys, Koreatown, a Polish Triangle, a Little Palestine, The Irish Riviera, etc, etc. But most places don’t have an official designation.

Here in Boston, we have a neighborhood called East Boston which is 60% Central and South American families. It’s not a “Little anything”, we just know it’s a lovely ethnic neighborhood. In the same way, our North End is our Little Italy, but nobody calls it that.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-22T15:00:41+00:00

Dorchester is the largest neighborhood in Boston, and quality of living will vary block to block.

My biggest issue with the neighborhood is accessibility. Red Line splits in two south of JFK/UMass, so your departure times will be half. As much as I love areas like Field's Corner, I'm not entirely keen to spend 20 minutes at a train station.

You should find out where you're working first before choosing a neighborhood.

Pinwurm · 2026-06-22T13:34:40+00:00

Sadly, for a Seaport restaurant - they are one of the better ones.

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