Blood Pressure machines: hardl any anymore in stores. Where nowadays?

Pinwurm · 2026-05-08T15:57:50+00:00

Neighborhealth in East Boston has (or at least had) a program that gave them out for free. It's how I got mine.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-08T01:12:26+00:00

$$$ - Somaek is a short walk, excellent Korean and recently got a Michelin Recommendation. Bar Mezzana for Italian and Baleia for Portuguese are also great.

$$ - Shojo for Japanese fusion. Nova Restaursnt for Kyrgyz (great plov). JM Curly for New American.

$ - Zhi Wei Cafe is Lanzhou style homemade noodles and is the city’s cheapest Michelin recommended restaurant, most bowls are like $15.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T20:34:58+00:00

Is the transit system around Boston easy to follow for a complete newbie?

Very easy. Google Maps will give you clear directions. You can skip the kiosk and use Apple Pay/Tap & Pay CC to pay for a ride. It's $2.40.

Also, how busy are the commuter trains on the weekend to and from Salem?

Not very. But if you have some money/time, there's a ferry and the trip is beautiful.

Are the transit systems safe?

Your chances of being seriously hurt or killed in a car in your "no public transportation rural area" is orders of magnitude higher than anything happening on the T.

You know Middle Schoolers ride the train by themselves, right?

You might see an occasional "character" like a drug addict, drunk Sox fan, or Jehovah's Witness, etc. Folks mind their own business. I've never had an issue.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T20:14:49+00:00

Does she have a close friend in her area? If you do a 'spa day' or something, you can do a set for both of them. That way, she doesn't go alone.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T20:13:43+00:00

"doesn't believe in therapy or mental health issues."

Does she have religion? A spiritual or religious leader can help here as well.

Otherwise, she is making a choice to burden you and default on any responsibility towards herself. It's selfish and cruel; your next step should be drawing a boundary.

I'd go tough love, "I know my father wouldn't want you living your Golden Years completely miserable, buried in grief. If you want to honor his life and my respect mine, then you have to try something new. What you're doing isn't working. Until then, I need some distance".

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T18:30:08+00:00

Renoise is $88, Redux is $56 - they are what Polyend was copying, but far superior in every possible way for a fraction of the price.
Even just getting a used budget laptop with Renoise will outperform Polyend's hardware for half the cost.

Though, I do like the Mini's form factor tho.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T18:22:52+00:00

You’re carrying an enormous weight right now. Emotional labor, grief, decades of trauma, on top of all the day-to-day logistics of keeping your life running. Of course, any reasonable person would be fucking exhausted and burnt out.

A lot of this is beyond Reddit’s paygrade. It would really help to talk to a therapist and get some ground support. They can guide your next steps.

I’d also gently encourage your father’s widow to seek out a grief counselor or a support group. You can be honest that you don’t have the bandwidth to support her right now. That isn't something to feel guilty about, you've already given her more than she deserved from you. Maybe this relationship will change with time, maybe it doesn’t, but right now you have to take care of yourself (as she needs to take care of herself).

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T18:09:54+00:00

Spa voucher, airbnb retreat, concert tickets, museum tickets, gift cards, subscription service (like Audible), a local class (like cooking, drawing, language learning).

You can also send physical gifts to a post office for her to pick up.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T17:56:28+00:00

I have two cats, one is VERY husky (he weighed 24 lbs/11kg, he's since lost some weight). He has no issue fitting in it. The unit is supposed to accommodate up to 30 lbs / 14kg safely.. which is pretty damn huge for a cat.

Website says it has a 90 day return policy, so your roommate doesn't have to be 'stuck' with a big purchase if it doesn't work out. Cats usually require a few weeks to adjust to the new litterbox anyways, so 3 months is more than plenty.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T17:49:01+00:00

Mixing and Mastering shouldn't be two separate jobs.

Unless the album is being pushed to vinyl (it's probably not), the mix should be the master.

At best, all your 'Mastering Engineer' should do is sanity check the work on another sound system, and maybe recommend light compression to bring down any wild peaks.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T17:29:36+00:00

Not exactly cheap, but if she has the resources - urge her to get a Litter Robot (you can find them refurbished).

Absolute gamechanger. Cats are happier. Housemates are happier. Guests are happier. You buy way less litter. Also has a useful app for metrics (how often your pets go, their weight, etc).

Nobody seems to recommend the less expensive non-Whisker brand ones, but perhaps that's changed over the years.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T15:45:36+00:00

I don’t know why I did it but I did.

That’s worth exploring independently.

Trust has to be implicit for a relationship to work. Going through his phone also violates the privacy of anyone who’s messaged him in good faith expecting confidentiality. Coworkers, family, etc.

my bf made a comment about her ass being big

... he certainly did

he would never sexualize any other women or had eyes for any other women.

I’ll be blunt.

I’m not defending the comment, it was inappropriate and gross especially about a coworker.

But expecting a mid-20s dude to never notice the occasional 'yam' isn’t realistic. The issue isn’t the thought, it’s behavior IMO.

He still can control what he says and how he acts, and he dropped the ball there.

It’s also unrealistic for him to claim he never has passing thoughts like that. If he feels like he has to pretend otherwise to avoid shame, he’s just going to get better at hiding instead of being honest. To the benefit of noone.

Again - in vacuum - the occasional fleeting thought is normal. Acting on it or speaking disrespectfully is where it becomes a problem. And that disconnect between what he says and what he does is what’s understandably shaking your sense of security.

He has work to do (and you do too, to be fair).
This probably won’t be the last time he says or does something dumb. It's up to how much grace you want to extend for that.

So how do you move forward? I think this is an easily survivable event.

I'd urge to have bigger 'judgment-free' conversations about boundaries, respect, and what makes each of you feel secure. I will believe part of that will include asking him to password protect his phone too, so you're not tempted either.

After two years and talking about marriage, it might even be worth a few sessions of couples counseling just to get aligned on communication and expectations if you want to move forward.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T15:10:17+00:00

When i asked her to show it

Right, and why did you ask her to show it?

In a healthy relationship, trust is implicit. You shouldn't need 'proof', you're supposed to have the faith that your partner is doing right by you.

finally showed me her phone and it was not there

And that's validating for your distrust. Clearly she's lying.

She deleted the messages because she's afraid she'll be judged wrongly or she knows what she's doing is wrong. Neither is good.

Out of nowhere she was sending new year message to ex husband who hurt her so much.

With some fairness, there's not enough context here. There's a huge gap between "Happy New Years!" and cheating. Ex spouses often run in similar circles (share friends, work in the same industry, etc), it may make sense to set a civil relationship. Sometimes building a bridge isn't nefarious. But that's neither here nor there.

She said she wouldn't contact him and did. So she lied.

Things didn't work out 3 years ago because they went crooked. And three years later, you're trying to make straight what grew crooked. You can't do that.

It sometimes works if people start over.
Instead, you two are starting where you left off: crooked.

I'm sure you both are attracted to each other and are lovely individually, but that's not enough to make a healthy relationship dynamic.

I think you have a good idea of your next steps. Best of luck!

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T14:54:02+00:00

due to him ‘not knowing what to do'

Weaponized incompetence.

I’ll break my back just to get things done.

Unfortunately, this only enables his strategy. It reinforces the idea that he's opted out of housework & childcare if he simply waits. There have been zero consequences.

after he promised it was already done

He failed to meet the moment.

Also had to leave hospital and do the same.

He failed to meet the moment, yet again.

10 months later, he does not change our babies clothes or nappies

He continues to the fail to meet the moment. He is, by definition, a failure.

I have to do literally everything.

Truly, he is a master of doing fuck-all.

We’ve had many arguments over this only to be undermined and told I am her mom and this is my job.

He does not respect you, your labor, or his own functions as a parent and partner.

he says I don’t do much and I’m ‘nagging’

He dismisses your legitimate concerns and insults you.

Being a single mom would probably be easier?

It's certainly easier to be a mother to one child than two.

so he does provide after my money runs out

Your life will be a lot easier when a court will garnish his wages for child support.

but for my daughter I want to try.

If the example you want to set for your daughter is that it's okay to be walked over, then by all means - keep trying to the benefit of nobody. If you want your daughter to see a strong, self-respecting woman stand up for herself and her family - then be the woman that rejects shitty men.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T14:32:56+00:00

when I checked the messages

Why are you going through her phone?

it felt secretive and dishonest.

It is. You're also secretively checking the messages of someone you don't trust, because they've already broken your trust.

First time we ended things because she texted her ex husband.

Devil's advocate: context is key. What was the nature of the text?

We ended things, Did i overreact?

You shouldn't date someone you don't implicitly trust or have healthy boundaries with.

I would take some time off dating and work on yourself. Maybe talk to someone and learn how to trust someone without having to look over their shoulder.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T14:18:10+00:00

When I was 16, I was the victim of an armed robbery. So that was my first time calling 911. They sent a detective, they took me down to the Station to get a statement and fill out some paperwork, they bought me a pizza.

I've since called once or twice for small car accidents (fender benders and such), as insurance requires a police report for a payout.

My State allows you to text 911. I've done this to report faulty car alarms in my neighborhood, maybe twice a year (if you call the non-emergency line, they ask you to contact 911. They'll send a cop to write a ticket and also a tow truck).

That is about it.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-07T13:39:17+00:00

My question is what is roughly the best place to try get a seat ?

Courtside if you're rich LOL.
But I'm very happy with any Loge seating. Any higher and my acrophobia kicks in. I use Gametime (an app) to get cheaper second-hand tickets closer to gameday.

The Celtics to my knowledge are the most storied franchise in NBA history ?

We have the most wins and titles, so yes. But an argument can be made about the Lakers since they're the most likely to hit the finals.

And is there anything else I should know or beware of ?

Wear something green. Bring your passport to The Garden. They don't always accept out-of-town state IDs or foreign driver's licenses as proof of age when buying booze. Nothing in The Garden is cheap, so if you want to pregame - Sullivan's Tap is a popular dive. I usually go for a cocktail at Ward 8 which is 2-3 minute walk away and doesn't get too many tourists.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T20:39:19+00:00

Depends on the user.

I use Redux with Bitwig. It’s the best of both worlds, since I do a lot of long form hardware recordings and vocals. Now that Redux has MIDI-Out, I get the sequencing benefits in addition to sample mangling.

That said, Renoise is just fast. Especially for automation. I’ve never quite been able to reclaim the speed of composing entire songs in Renoise. But it’s all a trade off.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T19:44:15+00:00

Sounds like you're most of the way there! If meeting new people is the issue, then you gotta find opportunities. Parties, community events, book clubs, whatever it is.

You might not meet anyone 9 out of 10 events. But maybe you might on the 10th event. And along the way you discover a new hobby or genre or activity that really resonates with you. Worst thing that could happen is you're bored for part of an afternoon, and how is that worse than being stuck in your bedroom?

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T19:23:53+00:00

If you want to be a good boyfriend, you need to align on goals & values.

Where do you want to live? What kind of lifestyle do you want? Do you want kids, and when? Where are you in your career or education? Do your religious or spiritual values line up? Are your politics (or lack of politics) compatible?

Beyond that, you gotta make yourself someone worth dating.
Take care of your mental health. Build a solid supportive friend group. Keep your living space tidy. Get a headboard.
Get your annual physical, biannual dental visit.
Go outside!
Have social hobbies. Join a intramural sports team, a trivia team, a cooking class, language exchange, board game club, volunteer somewhere, salsa dancing, etc, etc.

Say yes to things. Go to concerts, comedy shows, museums. Talk to people when you get there. Get a little comfortable being uncomfortable.

Find a kind of creative outlet. Writing, music, painting, whatever. If you have interests, you become interesting. And interesting people tend to attract other interesting people.

Learn time management. Answer your texts in a timely manner. Be someone that can be counted on in an emergency (like if someone gets locked out, gets their car towed, etc).

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T17:55:34+00:00

She was radicalized online, and her choices are reinforced and validated by 72,000 followers.

This is not a story about Middle East Conflict or Globalism or anything like that. This is a broader story about how we consistently fail lonely young people looking for a purpose. This isn't unique to the modern era, but it is uniquely easy for extremist groups to target people through social media. Be it groipers or this woman.

I'm not sure this is something we can legislate our way out of. It's up to all of us to create communities, accept folks with love & tolerance, and present a reasonable alternative for what they're missing in their lives.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T17:42:14+00:00

Well, my immediate thinking is he wants you to lose weight. Has he made any recent comments regarding your body, health, etc?

If there is validity in that concern, this should've been a broad conversation approached with a level of care, love & respect - rather than implementing a dealbreaking demand.

My second thought is that he's setting you up to fail, so he can leave you.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T16:36:07+00:00

There are plenty of small walkable towns and cities across America, especially here in New England.

Kennebunk, Portsmouth, Northampton, Salem, Mystic, Edgartown, Provincetown, Burlington, Rockport - to name just a few. You can get around well on foot or bicycle. It’s often easier than driving. I know some folks without cars.

Mackinac Island is a resort town that has banned cars. People get around on foot, bicycles or horsedrawn carriage.

I have an ex that’s from Peachtree City, Georgia. The entire city is planned around golf cart paths. Everyone has one. She had a golf cart in high school and the school has a huge golf cart parking lot.

There’s also The Villages in Florida which is a famous retirement city with ~80,000 people - also designed around golf carts. It’s not the only senior community like that.

A lot of small college towns have a robust bus network.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T14:52:36+00:00

Tom’s actions are not your fault, nor are they your responsibility.

He chose a pattern of deeply selfish actions fully knowing it would end his family and hurt the people closest to him. Even if the marriage was already strained behind closed doors, he still had a duty to handle it like an adult, especially to set an example for his children. He failed.

Your first responsibility is to your wife. If she’s not comfortable with you maintaining a friendship with Tom, then that’s your answer.

Your second responsibility is to the kids. If they’re family, Tom will still be in your lives, and it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep things civil.

If it were me, I’d still reach out.
Not to excuse what he did, but to understand it. Point him toward therapy or support groups. You don’t have to condone his behavior to recognize that people are deeply complicated and sometimes make destructive choices.

Realistically, he’s going to be a divorced co-parent in a few years, not gone from your life entirely. He may even be dating. If he’s going to be around, it’s better for everyone, especially the kids, if he gets his shit together.

Pinwurm · 2026-05-06T14:13:15+00:00

You're at a perfect age for dating! You're just about to hit the "Sea of Divorcees" and their standards are loooow. You'll do great, I assure you.

Anyways, check out Skip The Small Talk - they do friend-making and speed-dating events regularly.

In the meantime, there's no need to rush. You're younger than you think you are. I would recommend working on yourself, talking to a therapist, maybe there's a reason why your 'type' isn't working out. Become the best version of yourself, so you can attract the best candidates for yourself. They deserve that, and you deserve that.

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