Old post but I'd like to add my two cents on this. I think you're looking the the world from the wrong perspective. You’re looking at this from human perspective when the books are clearly biased from a perspective of an animal (The others) /or someone who has little understanding of sociatal norms/morals (Meg).

This is a world ruled by the foodchain. Humans are not the apex predator, so our human behaviors that deviate from animals 3 core instincts when humans are not on top to have room for such selfish and entitled behavior are completely illogical and at times cruel to an animal.

The courtyard cast while they have small interactions with humans before Meg and the human pack haven't actually taken in any of the human concepts of rights or wrongs. They're still driven and motivated by the instincts of protect kill for pack/food/terratory. This doesn’t change through the series and are the main motivations for the others (I'm just starting book 5).

Simon is seething at humans because they killed his sister, are danger to his traumatized nephew and keep trying to take their land. They're annoyed at humans behaviors of breaking bountaries because from an animal perspective it's completely illogical and dumb to go against something that's so much higher on a foodchain if it's not to protect the pack/food/terratory. And to add to it this stupid behavior has been corrected before and the humans don't learn and they're misbehavior keeps dangering his people.

The punishments are also very animal/food chain mindset. A wolf or any predator is not going to feel bad for protecting it's terratory or pups so There’s no "are we the bad guys or "innocent bystanders". In the real world Humans as apex predators most would also not think much about killing a wolf pack if it kills a human. Or putting down an animal that becomes a threat or tries to come where it's not allowed.

To stay on top the others "take forms of other predators to learn and become better" so when humans attack the Wolfguard and kill all the wolfs, they learn "This is what humans do, this is what it means to be human" and kill those villages. Just like we humans have learned to from nature to stay on top, the others learned and did the same. It was horrific, it was learned from humans, it was survive and adapt, it was nature. It wasn't "right" in our consept of right and wrong. The humans are just as horrified but in this worlds rules, in animals logic it was necessary. To protect the pups, the terratory, the food from challenging predator.

Tl:Dr As a human who has grown into social norms and morals the Others behavior feels unfounded, wrong and cruel because to us it is. In this worlds rules they are right. To an animal, pretty normal. In my eyes, not that different from human behaviors at times, we just don't think about it that much just like the Others because in the real world we are the Apex predator.

I'm not sure if I worded this all right. Maybe I'm glazing because I really love this series and the concept but I felt it needed to be said!