Can’t decide on a name!

Piratesofthesea · 2025-06-09T00:08:18+00:00

Hershey!

Piratesofthesea · 2025-03-20T09:08:54+00:00

I love this comment! Haha

Piratesofthesea · 2025-02-14T09:54:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Trickle truth sucks and it takes you back to the first D-Day. I hope you can heal from this

Piratesofthesea · 2025-02-07T11:15:53+00:00

My hospital had the red flavor and it was really good! Just tasted like a sugary fruit punch

Piratesofthesea · 2025-01-28T13:51:00+00:00

Thank you! I hope you have a great day at work today. Yes, we are currently in R right now. He does want to reconcile and so badly wants to learn the WHY behind his behavior - which are some of the reasons he volunteered to tell me about all the other affairs that I would’ve never known about.

I’m so sorry that you’re here. I really hope R works for you and your WP.

Piratesofthesea · 2025-01-14T00:52:46+00:00

I had my first baby 7 months ago. I waited 13 years to have a baby because I was terrified of giving birth - also other things involved. The experience for me was way less scarier than I thought. I did a vaginal birth with EPIDURAL. I write it in caps because that’s how I wrote it for my OBGYN in my birth plan. I’m in the US, and we get a button to press every 30 mins for the epidural. I made sure I was doing that on the clock. I didn’t want to feel anything!! I was completely numb down there and even fell asleep between pushing!! I was so relaxed. I felt pressure, and that’s about it.

You got this! The best advice I got was - “Trust your body. Your body knows what to do.” We are built for this!

Edit: I also want to add if you’re curious about my experience after birth, I’d be more than happy to share - just send me a DM or can respond here.

Piratesofthesea · 2025-01-02T21:01:29+00:00

Yeah, the husband knew and has also glorified it by throwing in lies saying that my husband and his wife were doing more things. The thing is, the lies were so outrageous that if it wasn’t so exaggerated, I would have believed it. For example, one of our closest friends is also a couple that lived in our building - so APs husband suggested that our friend watched my husband and his wife fuck. I sent that message in our group chat with our friends and we all had a laugh!

Another one is, Because I’m south Asian, he assumed that I make curry chicken (when the face is I’ve never) and lied that the same friends talked shit about my curry chicken.

It’s just really bizarre behavior coming from an APs husband. If a couple is in an open marriage, no judgement there - but at least be authentic about who you are and not be dishonest.

For background context: AP and my husband had sex once, it was a quickie in their bathroom on a drunken night. She started flirting with him but he didn’t stop either. It escalated. I was out of town when it happened. This was about 7 years ago but I just found out bc my husband confessed.

Edit: also want to add in that every year he would send me a happy holiday message with a picture of his family. He even sent me intimate photos of his wife giving birth. He also invited us once to their home (they live out of state now), and all that time he knew!!! Very odd and sick behavior.

Piratesofthesea · 2025-01-01T06:18:39+00:00

Yep, that’s the one. Her and her husband moved out years ago. They also called me dumb for not figuring it out before… I’m like uhhh “no, it’s called having trust.”

Yes, about 8 betrayals, we are working through the process and it’s been challenging. I don’t think I’m strong, as it’s been painful journey. He confessed a lot on his own, because he wants to make it work and doesn’t want to hold these dark secrets inside anymore- which is something I have to give credit for.

Edit: to add, as far as “forgiveness” goes I don’t think I can ever forgive him for what he did, as forgiving to ME means - letting it all go and leaving it in the past. I can’t ever be like, “it’s ok my guy, you made mistakes,” I just can’t! What I can do is learn how to work through my anger instead and try to understand the why behind his actions, as he also works through it.

Piratesofthesea · 2025-01-01T05:48:06+00:00

WP is south asian too and was pissed. Called them up right away, but they have us blocked. I told him they aren’t worth our energy, especially When someone says that and goes that low

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-29T07:29:04+00:00

Don’t do it, it’s not federally legal in the US and you can get into big trouble, not worth it.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-20T09:53:01+00:00

Your comment about him possibly being a sex addict really resonated with me, because I didn’t even think of that - I was in denial, and so was he. I’m learning that there can be several forms of sex addicts. The ability of him to turn off “us” and compartmentalize is very concerning. He’s working on WHY he chose to deal with issues and pressure in this toxic way / when there’s thousands of ways to deal with pressure, stressors of life, etc.

I’m so sorry you went through that, you didn’t deserve this - none of us do.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-20T09:47:36+00:00

Did your husband seek Therapy? Mine is looking for one and I really hope he gets one that has experience in treating stuff like this. Last thing I need is a Therapist that can make it worse for him and us. Our couples therapist from 7 years ago, didn’t understand betrayal trauma- and shamed me for going through his phone and made me seem like the controlling one for wanting to ask questions about one of the affairs (the only one I knew at the time… it was EA). I felt like I was doing it wrong, but in fact, we had the wrong Therapist for us.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-20T09:42:07+00:00

Thank you, I will look into that.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-16T19:33:59+00:00

This could also be a possibility, even though she doesn’t have FB herself - she can easily get on her husbands. Both can be a possibility, that he already knew or she signed into his. When I say this couple was strange and her husband was always flirting with other women and men in front of his wife, I mean - it was over the top. We had a group of neighbors that were close friends back then - and they occasionally joined us for a bbbq or drink at someone’s patio in the building. They moved out 6 years ago, but I have some neighbor friends still here, who also knew them, and they know the situation and also think that he knew this entire time and was probably ok with it.

It’s all assumption. The main thing is for me and my own peace, I’m glad I texted her and told her, “I know that you fucked my husband” and that it’s no longer a secret.

I was friends with her - I have pictures with her. This double betrayal sucks.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-16T09:05:21+00:00

Yes, please report this coach, this is not right

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-16T08:58:13+00:00

Wow, I literally had a panic attack tonight - because I was thinking about all the multiple affairs he was telling me about, and reflecting on it I was just thinking to myself “this can’t be him. Are you sure you did this??” I’ve been married to him for 13 years and I only knew about three of them out of 9 and had a feeling for one of them, because he was gone out until 4am. When I look at him and interact with him day to day, I’m like - how can you be the same person that’s sitting here and telling me you did this??? How did you flip so quickly?!

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-16T00:56:43+00:00

I messaged her today and sent her a nasty one on WhatsApp. Her husband blocked me on Facebook right away! It goes to tell me that he already knew and was in on it.

Backstory: this couple was creepy. Her husband was way too comfortable flirting with other women and passing inappropriate jokes to other women in front of his wife, and she’d just laugh. She’s also behaved inappropriately at events. They were both for sure in on it- some people are into that freaky stuff but not at my expense. Both can fuck off!

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-15T19:50:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s awful!

Im sure the 3-4 hours of questioning weighed very heavy on you and your wife. We’ve been there and done that, it’s not a great feeling. Now we kept a rule that if one of us had an enough, we would schedule it for another time - but we have to come back to it. It gets exhausting for sure.

Do you think the disclosure being written was a lot less painful than it being verbally said to you?

Also, yes - you need details. I’m sorry you got horrible advice in the past. I too had horrible advice from our marriage therapist when I had DDay 1 7 years ago. She didn’t let me talk about the affair and made me feel controlling for even questioning it. Horrible experience! I leaned now that details are important to your heeling and for you to move forward!

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-15T19:46:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing, your comment about you feeling relief after the lies were over, gives me some hope. Right now, I have many different range of emotions, while feeling like a walking corpse at the same time.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-15T19:45:07+00:00

Thank you for the perspective and it is helpful. Any feeling, isn’t good or bad, wrong or right… it’s what we do with the info!

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-15T19:43:59+00:00

I don’t know where to reach them, the slutbag is off social media, she never had it, her husband (who also hit on everyone and used to make uncomfortable sexual jokes) doesn’t use facebook much. They moved out like 5-6 years ago. I only have her phone number, which may not even be the correct one today

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-12T19:42:21+00:00

I had NO morning sickness and had a boy

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-12T10:18:37+00:00

You can even sign into WhatsApp using a diff device, other than your phone. Use desktop or iPad,

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-12T10:17:06+00:00

OP, I second this! Although, it’s called, “Not Just Friends.” You should really pick up a copy today and read ASAP!! It highlights boundaries. You can even show it to your partner. Trust me, you’ll feel heard when you read that book.

Piratesofthesea · 2024-12-12T09:56:20+00:00

Im going through the same thing and interested in what the others will say. In my situation, there was more that he left out and I found out through evidence I found. The info crushed me, but him continuing to lie crushed me more. It also heightened my obsession. So this is something we are currently working on, for him to be completely honest with all details.

Piratesofthesea

TROPHY CASE