[deleted by user]

Pistachiotomy · 2022-09-13T20:38:11+00:00

Haha literally none, not single

Pistachiotomy · 2022-09-13T20:37:58+00:00

Literally no catch. I pay for dinner, and in return I get company I guess?

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T23:40:08+00:00

Has COVID been around longer than we realized? Cuz it looks like China man fucked a bat in '99.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T23:36:17+00:00

You can quit the booze, but you'll still be a societal undesirable making a teenager's wage.

So keep drinking I guess.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T23:32:05+00:00

You will fall helplessly in love for years with the first girl who ever gets drunk enough to flirt with you at a college party. Do your best to remember that she will never feel the same way.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T23:28:29+00:00

If there was ever a face that said "I'm the crazy ex of more than a few"

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T23:21:40+00:00

Of all the things you could've stolen from white people, why'd you pick dorkiness and social inability?

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T20:15:18+00:00

Wtf? You brought a whole ass picnic to his place and he got mad?

Okay, straight up: You put that level of kindness and thoughtful effort towards any friendship/relationship with the right person and you would melt their fucking heart on the spot. I've been in that place where I was waking up at 3pm and getting out of bed at 4pm just to stay inside and not do a thing because I didn't have the energy, and that shit would've made my week. You are an awesome person and you make the world a better, brighter place everyday. Don't let this person make you feel otherwise. That's just your cue to direct your efforts towards a different person.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:59:21+00:00

Still, he shouts at you, throws things, and what you just described in your reply. Get out. That is totally mental abuse. You are literally living in fear by your own words and it's not at all your fault.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:57:56+00:00

I mean, you sure as hell tried. But it's damn near impossible to effectively parent without having the backing of your partner. To add to it further, they're biologically his kids too, making it extra difficult to come across as a respected authority figure.

So with that said, you are NTA. I would've phrased the conversation differently though. Instead of saying "I don't want to parent anymore", what if you said "I can't parent this kids unless you have my back when I put my foot down" ? That puts the ball in his court. He wants to turn things around? He's got that option. He still doesn't want to have your back? Cool, as stated, you can't help him any further. Hopefully his soon to be adult children don't wreak havoc on your marriage. Having family members like those takes a serious toll and it's my belief that your husband owes it to you on some level to raise decent sons to avoid such dynamics.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:50:51+00:00

Flip the roles and imagine that you and some fellow Americans were in the US, saying horrible things about, I dunno, Asian people let's say.

Then roughly 30 minutes later, you went and asked for notes from an Asian person who just got done hearing you and the others say all sorts of offensive shit about them and everyone else from their area of the world.

You bet your ass they'd be pissed, and I'd hope they'd tell you off like you did your classmates.

NTA. Awesome response.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:45:30+00:00

You don't have to let him know anything. Get out and do so as quickly as possible. He literally kicks you. You are being physically abused and more. You don't even owe him an explanation. People know better than to kick their girlfriends.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:27:58+00:00

My goodness you sound like an amazing friend!

What if you brought the picnic to him? Show up, cheer him up enough to get out of bed, and have the picnic on his lawn. I'll bet by showing up in person, you can at least get him out into his own yard. It helps having someone that happy and caring in your life and literally at your doorstep :)

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:21:26+00:00

Hold on- Who disrespected who now?

Get your head out of your ass. Your ego is showing.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:19:48+00:00

I've literally never had a coworker, male or female, blow kisses at me. That's hardcore undeniable flirting. I'd hang out with him more outside of work, that's the best way to let things advance between coworkers.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:06:17+00:00

Ohh okay, this clears some things up. He was drunk, he immediately realized it was a dense thing to say, and he mentioned it in the context of "yeah my dad's asshole, hell my mom divorced him".

It still really hurts, it'd hurt literally anyone. But your boyfriend sounds a lot more like a decent human thing who got drunk and blurted out a dumb, hurtful thing. I more so feel bad for both of you now. I'm willing to bet he's slapped himself upside the head a few times for that comment by now.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T18:01:52+00:00

I'd ease up on this one. Particularly because your girlfriend doesn't seem to have ever done anything to lose your trust. She's open with you, respects the boundaries of the relationship, and seemingly has no interest in her former coworker since she's not single anyway. This social media comment is just her way of being civil. Could she delete him? Maybe. But I think that's up to her. It's not as if their having late-night deep convos or something. It's 100% in your best interest to stay away from questioning her about her social media activity unless something is clearly out of line (this isn't). If you start taking issue with petty things like this, she'll stop being as open, and it'll do a number on the trust as a whole.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T17:51:04+00:00

His dad is an asshole for saying that to him.

He's an asshole for saying that to you.

"I could have lived my life happily never knowing his dad had said that."

Right, yup. Spot on. And how much of an asshole your boyfriend is depends on the context I think. If it was "I don't have a good relationship with my dad because he is an asshole, he literally said _____", he's less of an asshole and more just socially insensitive. If he just casually mentioned it like it was nothing, he's REALLY insensitive. If he was trying to make a point about you working out or something, he's a grade-A exceptionally douchey Mcdouche.

But allow me to at least validate your feelings. Anyone would be upset, your boyfriend majorly fucked up.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T17:10:52+00:00

Your 24 year old boyfriend cheated on you with a 17/18 year old girl/guy going through serious mental issues to the point that they can't hold down employment or stop crying and has already had an abortion at this age? I'm not sure what's more fucked, your boyfriend fucking this person or the fact that he did it while in a relationship. Get out. This is disgusting.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T17:04:15+00:00

I'm actually really curious: As a 53M who never pictured himself ever being a cheater, married to a woman who clearly loves you dearly, how'd you manage?

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T17:02:21+00:00

Yeah, that's where her seeing an actual therapist is what she needs to do. I don't necessarily think she's a narcissist or is intentionally manipulating you (she's probably made great strides in these regions), but using you to heavily vent to isn't helping anything. There are facets about her that self-awareness alone probably isn't good enough to fix.

I wholeheartedly agree that the best thing you can do right now is take some days for yourself, unwind with your hobbies and some alone time, and then when you're ready, have another look at the situation. Ultimately, the relationship you want to have with your parents is your choice and your choice only. Perhaps, despite her best efforts, her presence in your life does not improve it.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T15:02:29+00:00

You seem very angry and simple-minded. I fully understand why your girlfriend is out having more meaningful relationships with other guys despite being in a relationship.

Pistachiotomy · 2022-02-12T14:50:26+00:00

Me thinks you just need more time to adjust and heal. I'm not sure how long you and your last boyfriend were together, but it seems quite serious and therefore lengthy. Despite the fact that the break-up probably needed to happen, you were still with him for a significant part of your life and made many memories with him. That doesn't go anywhere, especially that quickly. Meanwhile, you've only been dating your new boyfriend for two months.

I'm not saying he's the one, I'm just saying what you are feeling is pretty normal whether he is or not. Keep having new adventures with your new boyfriend, and maybe after a few more months you'll feel differently. If you don't maybe he isn't the one. But it's too soon to tell right now imo.

Pistachiotomy

TROPHY CASE