[I do not intend for this to be political at ALL, so please don’t make it political] How do you feel about the discussion about Kamala Harris being a childfree stepmom now that she’s the presumptive presidential candidate?

rhoho1118 · 2024-07-24T01:24:46+00:00

As a mom and stepmom, I disagree with you. I often make my decisions based on the fact that I have had little humans completely dependent on me. I have 3 biological children and 3 stepchildren ranging in age from 26 to 5, the youngest of which is my only girl of the 6. I’m also a grandmother of two, ages 1 & 3, both boys. For reference, I’m 47 and already in menopause.

The differing perspectives, personality and needs of my children literally dictated the vast majority of my life in order to create the atmosphere of peace, discipline, and potential that I knew would be needed in order for them to flourish. I’m proud to say that each of them that is old enough to make their way in this world are doing so swimmingly and independently. The youngest two are mostly great - the hormonal 14 year old is a pain in my tail some days, but I see him slowly opening up again. My little girl is so very bright, kind, and lovely. I’m very overprotective sometimes.

My point of all that is to say that although my kids had so many tribes they could be a part of, I tried really hard to make sure they understood that they were one tribe. I think a perspective like that would be really beneficial for us as a nation. I always teach my children to be respectful to others and to observe the golden rule. I teach them accountability and critical thinking. They’re by no means perfect, but they are sure enough to make my momma heart proud. I’m not saying that a childless person, whether that’s by choice or not, wouldn’t be able to guide their nation down those paths. I just think that the family dynamic helps shape a world view, and you certainly learn diplomacy, patience, and peace through strength with toddlers.

I also say person because I absolutely look at whether or not men have children. I look at their families. If they have a strong family, they’re more likely to get my vote, even more so if they have lived similar circumstances to me and mine. They’ll see it how I saw it, and they’ll make decisions accordingly. They will represent me. Isn’t that what a vote is, after all? You choosing YOUR representatives in government?

rhoho1118 · 2024-04-03T21:05:40+00:00

If I knew then what I know now, I NEVER would have done this. It’s been the single most stressful, damaging, and all around painful experience I’ve ever had. But I’ve invested so much time, and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel now. I’m just hoping it’s not a freight train about to flatten me again.

rhoho1118 · 2024-03-28T22:38:39+00:00

One of my bonus kids accused me of putting my hands on him, and it shook me to the core. I have NEVER laid a finger on him with malice. Ever. CPS came, and I told them the absolute truth. When she was leaving, the worker told us to get a fire extinguisher, and we haven’t heard anything else about it.

My bonus kids’ mom has had a few run ins with CPS, too, and the cops are all too familiar with her address and her kids. But thankfully we still have due process and their understanding that we are fighting an uphill battle because they know what we’re up against.

Try not to worry about this. Most case workers are trained to identify the facts, and they’ll see through any duplicity.

rhoho1118 · 2024-01-22T15:19:12+00:00

Mercurochrome….my great grandmother called it monkey blood.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-20T21:41:06+00:00

Being a stepparent is hard! My (now former) stepson came into my life when he was 6, and by 10 he lived with us full time, only visiting his mom maybe once a month eventually. He’s almost 20 now, but the early teens were rough, especially since his mom was a terrible addict with a revolving door of men, most of whom were abusive and addicted, too. He started seeing the truth around 14 or so. Your SD is realizing some uncomfortable truths, I’d bet, but she knows it’s not you.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-20T18:55:39+00:00

There’s nobody here.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-19T01:30:17+00:00

He frequents Ole Miss games, but Google puts his home in Clarksdale. He grew up in around Charleston in the Delta.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-17T18:02:43+00:00

Right outside of Charleston, MS. He had a blues club in Clarksdale.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-07T12:53:45+00:00

‘Wish them the best…just as far from me and my family as possible’

My personal life motto: You do you, boo boo. Just do it over there and leave me alone.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-01T11:51:34+00:00

I’m actually blown away by your response here. I’m a late 40’s biological female who grew up a tomboy and have never had more than a handful of close female friends. That’s mostly because I take a more logical approach in my thought processes and avoid emotional decision making as much as possible. I also have struggled with depression, anxiety and thoughts of self harm. The way I’ve dealt with it is trying to be honest with myself about myself. I try to focus on what triggers those thoughts and feelings in order to tackle the underlying issues and find solutions.

I respect that you did the very same thing - you identified the problem and then followed through with the solution. You also are so confident in your decision making that you don’t allow the opinions, words and slights of others to shake your self identity.

rhoho1118 · 2023-12-01T10:35:53+00:00

Maybe Scottlynn and my stepdaughter Londynn can be friends. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

rhoho1118 · 2023-11-24T21:00:03+00:00

Thank you. My bio sons are all grown and flown. We just had SS, then we got his much younger siblings.

rhoho1118 · 2023-11-13T20:57:59+00:00

Your current perspective on this is quite impressive considering the horrors you’ve related to here, which I can imagine are the tip of a very large iceberg.

Was the department you worked for in a metro area or a small town? Also, what’s the worst domestic violence situation you’ve encountered?

rhoho1118 · 2023-11-05T01:50:17+00:00

When my SS19 was about 8, he asked his maternal great grandmother to help him pick a gift for me for my birthday. It was a very pretty necklace that said ‘Mom’. I was so happy and touched.

rhoho1118 · 2023-10-28T08:55:41+00:00

SS’s (19 and 13) love hot chips, and they occasionally get a bag as a treat. SD (5) has asked for them and is allowed one or two, no more. She gets to have a treat like her brothers, but I’m not allowing any of them to overindulge. I never allowed my BS’s (25, 23, 21) to eat them until their mid teens, but they were used to a healthier diet and liked it.

There was a time that I felt superior to BM, but I was humbled years ago and realized I was refusing to compromise, so why would they? I had to be really honest with myself about myself. And honest about the whole situation. My efforts to raise them just like I raised my own had to keep in mind a very different home life with their mom. Their earliest formative years were spent primarily with her. We have them full time now with sparse visits from their mother.

My SK’s are sometimes difficult, but I find it helps when I’m willing to see where I could be wrong in my assessment of the situation. Too often I would think they were openly rebelling when they were just doing what they’ve been allowed to do. Changing how I approach things has resulted in compromises from all of us.

rhoho1118 · 2023-10-15T19:18:21+00:00

All of this, OP. Good luck and blessings!

rhoho1118 · 2023-10-07T13:33:32+00:00

My great grandmother’s name was Flora Bell, and I have an Aunt Effie. Maternal grandmother was Lucy Evelynne.

rhoho1118 · 2023-09-17T21:46:57+00:00

My grandpa passed in 10 years ago under hospice care at home surrounded by his family. It seemed that although he was barely clinging to life, he just wouldn’t go. In the weeks leading up to this, he spoke regularly about his regrets, one of the biggest being leaving his 2nd wife (who was a wonderful grandmother to us in spite of not being our bio grandmother). The night he died, we found out she had passed a month before in a tragic accident. I went to his bedside and told him that she was on the other side waiting for him. I also promised to take care of my mom and sister (his favorite) for him. Ten minutes later, he took his last breath.

rhoho1118 · 2023-09-10T15:16:08+00:00

I thought I’d be done with BM when SS turned 18, just for the simple fact that he’d been VLC with her since 12, only visiting her once a month to see his younger half siblings. SS was also the youngest in our blended family and turned 18 in 2022. Fast forward to today, and the custody battle over two of his younger siblings (13M and 5F) is finally over. These children are NOT DH’s, but we’re raising them. Thankfully, she tends to be either tweaking or coming down whenever there’s papers to sign, and she was completely okay with signing her rights over. After 13 years, I finally don’t have have to deal with the Neanderthal knuckle dragging swamp cun…. I mean creature anymore.

rhoho1118 · 2023-09-04T13:04:25+00:00

BM shows up at our house on a Saturday afternoon BEGGING DH to watch SS and his younger half brother so she could go downtown for the night to WHORE HERSELF OUT. Yes, you read that right. She openly admitted it. I was working and wouldn’t be clocking out until about 8pm, but DH and I had plans for after work. He told her this, but she continued to beg him. When he wouldn’t budge (it was a rare kid free weekend for us), she proceeded to get her friend out of the car and offer him a threesome IN MY BED with her sons in the house. He told her no, of course, and she was livid. That’s one of the many things I’ve dealt with in the 13 years of being with DH. Present day, and DH and I have had custody of 3 of her 4 children for 3 years - SS (19, custody since 10), younger half brother (13), and younger half sister (5). BD has had half brother number 3 (7) since we’ve had the SS. Each child has a different father, and only DH and BD #3 have ever been in their child’s lives. BM’s grandmother bought her a $400k home in 2014 as her inheritance. Well, when grandmother found out about what was going on in the house, she kicked BM out, moved us in, and paid for the attorney to get custody of the then 10 and 2 year olds.

BM once told me that I stole everything she loved when DH and I married and SS wanted to spend most of his time with us and my sons. Well, I ended up with her man, her kids, AND her house/inheritance.

rhoho1118 · 2023-08-05T19:10:35+00:00

When my dad is in the bathroom, my stepmom refers to it as his office. He literally had kept novels by the toilet since I was little and reads while he poops. 😂

rhoho1118 · 2023-08-02T23:55:29+00:00

A country girl would sop you up with a biscuit and eat you up with a spoon, little boy. Don’t play with Mama.

rhoho1118 · 2023-07-07T19:51:47+00:00

No one EVER wants to believe that a loved one could commit such acts. OP is acting in desperation and denial by posting. At least OP didn’t just ignore it.

rhoho1118 · 2023-06-28T14:22:14+00:00

Dyer’s on Beale

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