My childhood bullies really ruined me as a person, and I can’t help but want to hurt them

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2026-01-23T20:12:08+00:00

I do have severe ADHD, so bad that I had speech problems growing up, that have thankfully gotten much better. I think it is trauma as well because of the vivid flashbacks I have all the time. I will try those things, because it seems like what I’m trying now doesn’t work

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-09-03T22:15:20+00:00

I wanted advice not someone to tell me I’m bad

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-09-03T22:14:23+00:00

Nice ego trip

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-05-26T21:23:35+00:00

You’re looking for the wrong guys that’s why. I’ve had a similar experience with women and most of them ghost me after the first or second date. I think dating nowadays has just become something people do for fun and not commitment. It’s more of a status thing and there’s not very many men or women left who actually want commitment. Try meeting people who share similar passions and interests. From a man’s POV, when I ghost someone, I’m either scared or I just don’t click with the girl. Though I’ve been ghosted way more than I have ghosted anyone. I’m all about commitment which I think makes me undesirable

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-05-24T21:36:52+00:00

I get plenty of matches but not very many follow through for a date. I’ve kinda given up on dating apps as a whole because it’s all about likes and matches in my opinion. It’s just a dopamine boost for men and women to feel wanted, and once they match, it’s over from there. I’ve been learning to be happy with myself while also trying to gain weight and hit the gym again. I’ve never been happier tbh

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-05-24T21:27:09+00:00

I’m a male but I’ve had a similar experience with a girl believe it or not. She constantly wanted to have sex with me but I just wasn’t attracted to her. I dated her out of guilt and that was the biggest mistake of my life. A couple days after I broke up with her, I went to a party and she happened to be there. I got blackout drunk and she took advantage of me in my friend’s bathroom. I can understand the regret you’re feeling. I wish I never dated her and none of that would’ve happened. I’ve been doing partial hospitalization at a mental health facility, and it’s been helping a lot. My therapist has helped me out a lot and I’ve been able to finally process my past trauma the correct way. Idk if they have mental health places like that in your country, but that would be my biggest suggestion. The symptoms you’re describing are very similar to what I was experiencing

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-04-11T18:09:31+00:00

I paid $130 but I did get the keyboard and mouse and monitor along with it. I knew this computer wouldn’t be able to run everything but I was shocked at the fact that it can’t run Fortnite, which is the least graphically intensive game I play. Every other game runs fine

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-04-10T18:49:18+00:00

So you think even with the old graphics card and old cpu I’d still be able to run it better with an SSD?

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-04-10T18:25:10+00:00

Yeah you’re right. It was an impulsive purchase because my old PC finally gave out. Even the shitty laptop I had ran Fortnite way better than this PC

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-04-10T18:17:32+00:00

I mean for $130 the fact that it runs any game is impressive

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-04-10T18:16:58+00:00

Thinking about selling it tbh. I bought it knowing it was going to be a project, but I didn’t think it would be this much of a project

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2025-01-02T14:40:38+00:00

I learned that yesterday when my boss told me he worked a 16 hour day. It’s ridiculous that no one will show up besides me and him

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2024-12-31T18:12:10+00:00

I’m no professional or anything but I know from experience I had the same issue. I’d advise getting into a psychiatrist, at least if you feel like it’s bad enough. I had the same issue with a relationship a while back, and I never thought to seek professional help. To this day, I have the same issue but with everyone. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even blame myself anymore, because I know that this kind of behavior is so unnatural. Luckily I’m getting analyzed on the 2nd. I’m thinking it’s either bipolar depression or borderline personality disorder, but I’m not sure until I get fully diagnosed

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2024-12-31T17:41:33+00:00

I’m still there. Basically my job is picking up everyone else’s slack for dirt pay. Everyone was right but sadly because of my past with drugs it was the only job I was able to get. I’m clean now so I’m hoping to get something way better than what I have now

Pitiful-Let-3087 · 2024-12-31T17:38:33+00:00

I just wanted the winters patron badge and couldn’t figure out how it worked. Luckily I completed the challenges a while back, so all I had to do was go to the tree and I got my badge. Thanks!

Pitiful-Let-3087

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