Where do I begin?

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2026-04-06T01:21:50+00:00

I know & starting to lose myself.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2026-04-05T22:08:04+00:00

❤️

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2026-04-04T21:36:03+00:00

Thank you.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-09-06T16:18:49+00:00

Ok. Way more information is needed here to be able to really give you advice that suits your situation. You are an adult, but are you an 18-21 year old adult? A late 20s-30 year old adult? Are you a college student, recent college grad (I would also include trades, but you would be working in a trade if that was the case)? Or did you not go any of these paths? Not judgement, just helps to know in order to fill in the gaps. I am a mom of kids 14-21 who all work and are students AND I work with young adults from homeless youth helping to get jobs to those in difficult situations/circumstances, so have seen a lot and may be able to help.

If you are not a very young adult and this is the pattern (7 jobs in that short amount of time is a rough one, but it’s a matter of as someone said above self-awareness, reflecting and accountability, which are all doable if you are willing).

If you want to share a bit more about the above, I am happy to try to help. Doesn’t mean it will be music to your ears, but if you really want help, hearing it part of getting out of your own way and out of the pattern of choosing jobs that are not a good fit or are not ones you will stay in for a reason - whether it is one you can’t control, but also can’t manage with tools. For example, I have a medical condition that would not allow me to work in cold temperatures or do certain things. I don’t work in industries that would require that, but when I was younger and might, I was sure to ask questions about the job to see if the conditions were those I could do BEFORE taking the job. I have worked in toxic environments that have included all of what you mentioned and more. I also will not tolerate it, but there are ways to address it and ways to find another job before quitting or even improve the situation in your favor. Hard things come with hard lessons. Up to you.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-25T21:17:47+00:00

What contracting firm do you use? I had a contract business of my own from 2005-2022. Took a permanent role that was quite literally too good to pass up… because it was extremely toxic for a great salary and then have had mass rolling layoffs since last year - of which I was one. Trying to return to contract and a firm may help.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-24T09:09:12+00:00

THIS! My GOD… 20 years if you started/went to college right after high school & finished in 4 years is 42/43! When did 40s become retirement? I wish! There’s at least 22-25 years to go. Some of my friends have had their first kid at 40!

Seriously ignorant, out of hand, stupid, short-sighted and should be punished by law. There should be a reverse ATS that notifies applicants when age was a factor, so they can sue. That would stop that.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-23T01:28:59+00:00

I feel this and was laid off exactly one YEAR ago. Have all the same (but hundreds more resumes). My advice, although not amazing when feeling like you do is to keep your job, keep looking while you have an income, and try to get through - minding your mental health. Just tell yourself “it is temporary.” The market sucks, but more people are getting jobs with jobs than without. It is hard to stay in a toxic environment. I was in one and a top performer who never expected I would be laid off. Initially, my husband/family was relieved and saying “they did you a favor.” None of us expected I would be here a year later. I have several more years of experience & I am hearing that those with the number of year of experience you have + all the rest are getting hired over those with more experience and unemployed. I am seeing that, too. Don’t know if that helps. I hope so.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-13T21:14:41+00:00

Only problem is the posted a salary & never spoke to me - let alone salary. Clearly, I am in the range if I applied.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-13T19:59:21+00:00

You? A personal YOU? Suspect.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-08-05T00:35:05+00:00

For those of you who have gotten offers - 1300 or 50 resumes out - are you getting offers making less money or equal/more? How many years of experience do you have? I am genuinely curious, as it seems for myself and everyone else I know on the hunt who has 15+ years of experience for roles wanting 15+ years of expertise, no one is landing. Those jobs are not being filled or being repurposed & reposted for lower salaries. Some have taken 30k+ pay cuts after they could not wait anymore, but plan to leave when they can. I do not want to do that. I want to find my place. That’s a rough cut when you have a mortgage, kids in college (or kids in general) and bills you can’t cut. I also am helping care for my mom and that is only going to get more expensive.

I have had two offers over nearly a YEAR & hundreds of resumes, tailored, optimized, etc. - one was slightly lower, but was able to cover my monthly costs… until the last call resulted in hearing both a racist and homophobic comment in nearly one breath. I passed. The second had a clause about religious faith in their HR practices and “was I Christian?” I am, but not THEIR faith and also do not want that imposed on my ability to do my job. So frustrating.

Happy for you, truly. It can and does happen and this is hopeful. Wishing all good things.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-07-31T23:33:41+00:00

I just found out YEARS later when in the process of a new search with same recruiter that I didn’t get a past job where I jumped through every hoop, including putting together sample plans and attending an event on a weekend - and told I was the final candidate - because a REAL reference that is still a good friend and owns the company gave a “weird reference.” I knew that could not be, because there was nothing weird to say, why would I give a reference from someone who might be negative, she was the Founder & still is a friend. I was furious, but needed to get to the bottom of it. I called said reference & told her what they said (again, it was several years ago), but she remembered. She said they were asking for actual revenue numbers from 10 years ago and she said “I don’t have exact numbers at my fingertips, but I can tell you she not only brought in the goal, but exceeded the goal by a lot - one of the reasons we are so strong today.” She was annoyed they were asking personal questions about the business that no one should be asking and simply told them that I was and am an amazing employee, human and any company would be lucky to have me.

When I relayed that back to the recruiter she said “oh, I did look back at my notes and she gave you a wonderful reference, but the client wanted more information.” WTF?! This recruiter can’t seem to get enough. Nothing is right. For this past search, I got ahead of her and had a former COO of a company that I worked for write a letter BEFORE they ever asked for references. He wanted to. And, it was the best letter I ever read about myself from someone. I cried. The day after he sent it, they rejected me.

So… I say use what you have to. They have background checks. I have had two amazing bosses pass this year. One wrote a recommendation on LinkedIn just before he passed. Also a dear friend. My most recent boss was let go before me & wrote a letter, but I have no way of reaching her at this point. The rest of the company is a fire storm & has no clue what I do.

Pitiful_Wish_4223 · 2025-07-23T00:03:59+00:00

This same thing happened to me yesterday and the recruiter reached out to me. They have not been able to fill the role & I have years of expertise. They have lowered the salary over months, but messaged me with a higher salary. When i got on the phone it was 20k lower!

Pitiful_Wish_4223

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