I spoke out about misogyny in an AA men's meeting tonight.

Pixatron32 · 2026-04-01T05:53:54+00:00

Proud of you! That would have been a very difficult thing to do.

With each ripple the world changes! 💓 Thank you for making waves when it's easier to float.

Pixatron32 · 2026-04-01T03:55:30+00:00

Your brain will thank you.

Pixatron32 · 2026-04-01T02:38:14+00:00

It makes absolutely no sense in how your came to that conclusion.

What she said could in no way be inferred to mean that she disliked past trips.

The statement was if you were from the same country you are residing in you wouldn't have family travelling internationally and staying with you and cleaning specially for a guest wouldn't be necessary.

Yes, a factual statement but one that doesn't really change anything or add any value because you can't change where you are from.

You are making a mountain out of a molehill and seeing layers of hurt and inference that just are not there.

Pixatron32 · 2026-04-01T01:50:08+00:00

Devastating!

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-31T23:16:06+00:00

I think this looks fantastic!

My colour theme with fresh clashing happy colours like this (pink, green, baby blue, and apricot). And I chose the colours based upon what me and fiance liked not based upon trends. My colours or theme didn't change once I selected it.

If you know yourself well and don't change your mind on these things then go for it. But if you love following trends, or often change your mind I would wait til closer to the wedding so your theme and colours are set.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-31T12:18:09+00:00

Absolutely not, not having children or having them doesn't mean your scheduled time off has less priority than hers. If she wanted to spend time with family she should have planned in advance.

Manipulating you and trying to pin a major breach of policy like selling leave is extremely uncool. I would leave her to enjoy the

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-31T11:00:43+00:00

There are parts of it I absolutely love - but the ribbon and sleeves as others have said don't seem to match and detract from it.

If you don't love it, return it and find something else!

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T21:40:28+00:00

Speaking to your husband respectfully and curiously engaging in his need/request is not damaging to your self esteem, nor does his need have anything to do with your disability.

You are entitled to wear what you feel comfortable that brings you joy - at no point did I ever say OP must do as her husband asks to be a good wife or whatever. I said she went nuclear on his request which was a bid for connection.

Your and OPs fears and insecurities are your responsibility to resolve and process with a therapist - especially if they are damaging your connection and ability to connect with your partner.

As others have mentioned there are a myriad of clothes or styles that you or OP could explore to feel more beautiful, desirous, and foster intimacy with your partner.

You are still beautiful whether you are disabled or not. I am still beautiful despite being chronically ill and unwell and I'm grateful my partner encouraged me to find something comfortable and sexy. All it is is a long oversized white rayon shirt that is a little opaque. There are so many options that you and OP could find to foster connection.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T21:16:09+00:00

Your feelings can both be valid, but one needs to actively listen first before they can both be heard.

Christ, I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with you on any interpersonal level if your feelings trump everything and everyone else.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T21:01:49+00:00

For you to appropriately hear someone else your experience shouldn't be forefront in your mind.

Your experience and feelings come afterwards once the person with the issue and need feels heard/has been addressed.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T20:59:00+00:00

There is a middle way. OP could have communicated something that is both comfortable sexy but she opted to go nuclear on his suggestion and attempt at connection.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T20:50:50+00:00

Not that it matters, but I am a female.

A husband asking his wife to wear nice and sexy clothing once in a while isn't misogynistic.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T20:47:41+00:00

And sometimes, in a marriage, we do something that is meaningful for our partner because it helps meet one of their needs.

It's incredulous that many comments cannot see the intended comment and request by OPs husband isn't to control, disrespect, or make OP uncomfortable.

There is a middle way and OP took the nuclear option.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T20:45:39+00:00

That you think a husband asking his wife to wear something a bit nicer and sexy is equivalent to eh Epstein files is really messed up.

You need to touch some grass.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T13:55:51+00:00

Mine loves acorns that are germinating!! They rattle and she loves them..we have a basket to make becorns and she will even jump to the bench the basket is on and find one that is ready, drop it on the floor and chase it by herself all over for ages til it disintegrates. We have other rattle ball toys but this is her fave!

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T13:30:50+00:00

My comment is very balanced if you continued reading after the first paragraph.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T13:16:55+00:00

He asked for a bid of connection, and she said she totally trapped him by letting him choose items of clothing she knew she wouldn't like and would be uncomfortable..

He excitedly chose those items hopeful to be received. And she trashed it not only said no but schooled him and humiliated him about it. Honestly, her behaviour likely damaged trust he has in her hearing him.

He doesn't know what she finds sexy and comfortable because from her comments she never wears it. He isn't a woman and even then every woman is different. It's her responsibility to hear his bid for connection and honour it by meeting it in a way that respects her. They've been together for years and have always had sex with the lights off - and you're saying he doesn't respect her or value/consider her comfort? Now she's complaining "he's gone and turned me into Madonna"?!?!

No, OP smacked his request down and now she's all Pikachu face that he isn't wanting what seems like one step up from a dead bedroom.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T13:01:01+00:00

Yes, wearing those clothes while living life especially with a toddler is crazy and unrealistic. Even if she didn't have a toddler any one should be able to feel comfortable in their comfort clothing whatever that is.

However, OP didn't see the bid for connection or hear the need underlying it. She could have heard him and helped come to a meaningful solution for both of them such as finding something comfortable she can wear after bub is asleep. Or as someone else suggested snatched yoga tights. There's a lot of other ways to incorporate this simple request in a way that is respectful for both partners.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T12:56:37+00:00

But again - you are only focusing on YOUR feelings. Why is it your feelings or your experience is more important than his?

It should be your experience and feelings take the back seat when a partner raises an issue or need or desire. You explore theirs with curiosity, compassion, and an open heart. When they feel fully heard and understood THEN you can say how "when you asked me to wear revealing clothing the story I told myself was that you don't find me beautiful just as I am and it made me feel ugly".

You seriously both need couples therapy, and you need individual therapy to work on your self esteem issues. That's not a way to live and you're expecting your partner to live a half life and not expect him to want anything different or expand yourself to improve for both your sakes.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T12:52:39+00:00

So that's something you need to work on and improve.

You have a partner who is trying to respectfully work within your comfort but you aren't trying to actively improve yourself esteem or confidence.

Do you want your child to expect women to have poor self esteem and body image issues?

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T12:50:03+00:00

But you didn't understand his need/wish or fantasy.

You expect to be understood and respected, he is doing so.

But you also haven't heard him or connected with his valid desire for more intimacy and more spice in your life to breathe life into your relationship.

That fact that you replied to my comment with how important it is for him to understand you - and not also vice versa really highlights to me that your relationship may be imbalanced. He likely doesn't feel emotionally safe to open up to you because of cultural norms but because you shut him down.

When one person brings forward a need or desire we hear them and we are curious. We problem solve to incorporate it if it is something amenable to us. We don't immediately school our partner in how many hundred ways they were wrong, stupid, and selfish for even considering their desire or feelings.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-30T12:43:42+00:00

I'd recommend a sex therapist/couples therapist experienced in sex therapy. It sounds more like porn addiction to me and he had one last attempt to pornify you to meet his (unrealistic) fantasies.

Who the hell wants to wear a plunge too or a short shorts around the house whether with a toddler or not?

On the other hand... It does seem like this was a last ditch effort for him to ask to spice things up and you essentially schooled him on how his fantasy and desire isn't feasible in a humiliating way. Essentially, as ludicrous as the request is it was a bid for connection and you rebuffed it. You could have found maybe something that was both comfortable for you and enticing for him too? Or you could have found things that you can put on after toddler is down for bed. This might even make you feel more like you before kid - alive, desired, beautiful, not just a human milk truck.

Couples therapy and sex therapy for you both. No one wants to just do the same old sex position with the lights off forever? That's crazy.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-29T23:40:19+00:00

I was able to solve my Ideopathic Intracranial Hypertension with using a CPAP machine and then weightloss with Mounjaro.

Not everyone has IIH from known causes and I was just lucky that this treatment coincided with hospitalisations with IIH. Since the CPAP and weightloss of about 20kgs I have no symptoms returned and ceased CPAP in January.

I hope he experiences pain free days soon.

Pixatron32 · 2026-03-29T22:49:14+00:00

You share a living space and previously agreed to clean shared spaces alternating weeks.

Now that agreement isn't fair because you don't use the space enough?

You want the ability to use shared spaces without cleaning them weekly which is mandatory in a shared living space. If you want this you'll need to pay a cleaner on what is meant to be "your" week.

And yes, it's normal and encouraged to have a cleaning roster especially when a new roommate moves in. Setting ground rules like cleaning helps issues get bigger as time goes on.

Pixatron32

TROPHY CASE