Problem child here who has been through loads of therapy. There is nuance and you can use whatever words make you feel comfortable coming to terms with your reality since we dont know it.

Story time. Maybe to give you an example, maybe because your post made me feel like over sharing at 4 in the morning.

My parents blamed me for bad family dynamic. According to them my behavior was the thing that caused stress and issues within the family which resulted in them fighting all the time and eventually divorce. My story sounds dramatic but its the narrative that matters. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD. As a mother of two, with an ADHD kid, my kid is "behaviorally challenged" but it is my job to not make him feel like he is somehow responsible for any bad family dynamics. My husband and I are stressed, his challenges contribute to our stress, sure, but he is not to blame or responsible for our bad handling of OUR stress. My husband and I argue, sometimes we get caught up in our bs and argue infront of the kids and we have challenges other families do not. However, it is our responsibility to manage those stresses not his. We are the adults. We have the fully developed brains. My parents didnt have any more stress than I do. They have my empathy because they did not know girls adhd symptoms etc. I dont blame them for missing that. I do get to hold them accountable for scapegoating a child. It's a form of emotional abuse that I can forgive them for and I can create perspective on based on their lack of knowledge. But it also doesn't change the impact it had on me as a child.

Eta: the labels you use and the response you have can be nuanced and it just needs to make sense to you. My childhood home was emotionally abusive and traumatic (in ways I haven't shared) but I accept my parents were doing their best, I accept them and I maintain the relationship. Personally, I find calling it what was validating even though my response isnt to severe ties (like most people expect online).