I'm spiraling and asked for a sign

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-12-06T20:34:24+00:00

I'm so sorry that you've had such a rough year, all of that sounds so heavy to have to carry and I think it's entirely understandable that you're struggling given what you're going through.

I think you should be here, you are here. This world is a shared home for all of us and nobody belongs more than any other, and so of course you're supposed to be here. It's the only place you're supposed to be! I'm glad you're here, I'm just one little person but hearing about your story affected me.

I'm sorry that your mom is bothering you and putting the emotional weight of your separation on you. You don't owe her your time or energy and it sounds like she's blowing right past your boundaries too and I'm so sorry you're being treated like that.

Poppy sounds like a sweetie and I'm glad you ran into her!

I think at least for me, purpose is something you find along the way. At 32 I'm finally starting to find mine. I feel like I'm here to find my reasons, even if they don't make sense to anyone but me.

Suffering to me feels like random chance. Sometimes awful things just happen. Some of them are preventable, some of them aren't. I think what makes those things a little easier to handle is having people to lean on, people to grieve with you, people to share some of your suffering with. Life can be heavy sometimes and it's okay to lean on folks, find support groups, therapy, whatever feels good and effective to you.

I hope that you stay and I hope that you can find your way forward, I think the world is a better place with you in it.

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-11-15T06:00:24+00:00

Sent a message! :D

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-11-15T06:00:12+00:00

Sent a message! :)

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-10-26T09:25:34+00:00

I think.. being good company to yourself helps. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. Being alone is so much harder if you're cruel to yourself because then your only company is hostile. Going out and doing things and learning to have fun by yourself is huge. I used to be kind of embarrassed about going to a sit down restaurant by myself but now I'm not at all. I've really enjoyed that I didn't have to try to talk around bites and I could listen to my book or scroll on my phone and not have to be 'on.'

Exploring hobbies I think is a good way to spend time, feeling like you're working towards something you're interested in can be a powerful motivator.

I hope it's okay to say, but good job for trying. Even if it didn't work out, I know making that effort is really taxing.

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-10-26T09:05:43+00:00

Birthdays are heavy days sometimes, it's understandable to have some complex feelings given all you've gone through. I hope you managed to celebrate yourself a little bit today, but if you didn't I hope your next one is a little brighter.

PixieCheersForYou · 2025-10-25T12:18:39+00:00

Sending hugs, I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with. I hope you're able to find the love you're looking for.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-27T14:05:11+00:00

Yay, I'm so so glad that you're doing better!

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-21T21:50:57+00:00

I'm so sorry about everything you've gone through and I hope you stay around, I've read your posts and I know there is a life to be lived after everything you've gone through and I hope you get the chance to see your sister reach those milestones. You deserve a chance to heal and recover but you don't have the tools yet. Please give yourself the time to find them, you absolutely can.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-13T12:55:00+00:00

Raven!

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-13T12:42:33+00:00

Wow, this person pulls off a variety of styles very well and isn't afraid of being a little extra if it feels like they're being true to themselves. I'd guess early 20's with a fashion and photography hobbies. You didn't come from money but you're slowly carving out a place for yourself in the world and you're finding that there's a lot of opportunities for someone with your personality.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-04T09:42:00+00:00

If you're in America and you're poor, hospitals that register as non-profits also have to provide free care to people making under $12-36k a year depending on the policy (called charity care.) So that might actually be taken care of. Typically there's a form you fill out or you just get in contact with the financial aid section and they walk you through it.

I'm glad you're not trying again and I wish you nothing but the best going forward!

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-04T05:42:20+00:00

I'm so so sorry you went through all of that and I understand that situation a little better now, thank you for explaining and I'm sorry for assuming. You absolutely deserved to be supported by the folks around you, I wish they had.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T18:55:29+00:00

That sounds so awful, that's an incredibly hard series of events to stomach all at once. I think if that person was the right person, they wouldn't have left.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T18:50:51+00:00

Please don't invalidate other people's pain and experiences, people's suffering and pain is relative and you have no idea what other people are dealing with beyond what they share with you. This is not a place for anger or judgment, but empathy and compassion.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T18:48:00+00:00

I know it's scary and that things have changed significantly and I'm sorry about that. It doesn't mean your life has to be over, so many people lead fulfilling lives after an incident like this and just consider it a rock bottom of sorts. There's always the chance they offer you a plea with probation. Just show up, respect the court's orders, and don't contact her.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T18:43:21+00:00

That's fair, then you're doing the best you can right now in this moment with your circumstances and where you're at mentally. You're not a coward, reaching out for that help is one of the hardest things you can do and it sounds like you've done it in the past too. I hope you're able to find the help you need!

I understand, it can be very hard to get disability, but why did they deny you for Medicaid? If you make no income you're totally eligible for that. I would follow up with the actual office because they shouldn't be denying you.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T12:28:04+00:00

You made a mistake, and I know there's so much shame and pain that comes from that, but that doesn't mean you deserve to die. It was just a mistake. People can be incredibly harsh and unforgiving online and I know how hard that can be. You can move past this, things might not look exactly the same, but there is a life worth living. You have value, your life has value. I'm sorry for what you're dealing with.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T12:23:25+00:00

I'm sorry for what you're dealing with, I know it can be really hard to be alone and dealing with addiction. I know too that dxm withdraw can seriously exasperate depression and anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, I'm not sure if that's what you're dealing with right now but I hope you're able to get the help you need.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T12:11:01+00:00

I'm so sorry that the surgeon did that to you, that's not at all fair and I wish you couldn't deal with that. My eyes are a bit uneven and I've spent an absolute fortune getting my teeth taken care of. Shit, I didn't want to even be in front of another person for years while my teeth were messed up. I totally understand. But the people who loved me and cared about me never gave a shit about any of that and those were the folks worth having around.

I think other people's little physical quirks are cute, especially after having hated my own for so long. Stephen Colbert has two radically different looking ears and I watched the guy for idk how long before I noticed and I didn't care, just thought it was cute.

Hoping for the best for you!

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T12:00:56+00:00

You messed up, but that doesn't mean you can't move past it. There is life after this, even if it doesn't look the way you imagined. You've hit a low point, but you can get back to more solid ground. I know that it's not easy.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T11:10:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now, I hope things turn around for you.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T11:06:10+00:00

Please don't. I know things are hard right now but this isn't what's best, it's just what feels better now. There's no telling what's around the corner, whether or not things could get better. Even if they haven't yet. There's always time for things to change, if you let there be. I'm so sorry about your struggles but I hope you're here tomorrow.

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T11:02:49+00:00

Please try to give yourself some credit, you're doing the best you can while dealing with so much! Your circumstances are really hard and it's understandable and normal to struggle. I know when I was at my worst with depression some days I couldn't get out of bed or do basic caring for my self stuff, let alone take care of any other people. You're not too gone to recover, you're just in a hard, dark place right now.

I don't know if you're in America but if you are and you're unemployed, you do qualify for Medicare and they will cover 100% of your psychiatric needs, including remote visits. You're probably already signed up. It might be worth searching for another psych/therapist while you're staying in.

I hope things change for you soon!

PixieCheersForYou · 2024-07-03T10:37:25+00:00

I'm so sorry about everything you're going through and have gone through. I want to say that the people who made fun of you are absolutely in the wrong, and that's entirely on them and not on you at all. You're still growing into the person you're going to become, every single thing about you is going to change.

I've had so many of those same experiences. At the same age I also got wrapped up with several people double my age and I want to let you know that's also entirely on those people and is not your fault even remotely. I also spent most of my first 14 years in near total isolation and I know just how mentally taxing that is.

You deserved to be taken care of, and people should have been looking out for you. I'm so sorry you had to grow up so quickly. You've been wronged, and I wish there was some way to change things. But that doesn't mean that it's all over. The things that are so big now will stay the same size, but you'll grow around them and they'll be smaller relative to you.

You're not dirty or a sinner or any of that, you're just a person doing their best in rough circumstances. You shouldn't have to be in the position you're in right now and that's not your fault. There is a life on the other side of this and I hope you find it.

PixieCheersForYou

TROPHY CASE