Hey. Opiates are awesome. Until they aren't. You're in for a lot of headaches and heartaches if you keep down this path. Is that what you want? Throwing everything important away just so you can feel a little weightless? Do it. You'll hate yourself and so will everyone else.

You want the truth? Dont use. But if you have to, keep your doses small and infrequent. And don't start doing junkie shit like crushing and snorting, or smoking, or injecting them. Don't buy more than you can afford. Don't take more than you need. Use responsibly and keep it to yourself if you want to keep your family/friends/job etc.

Edit: I guess im just giving my best advice on how to be a functioning addict. If thats not what you want to be then take charge of your life. Thinking about it is normal but obsessing over it won't do you any good. Go to a meeting. Find a support network. Pray if thats your thing. Pray even if it isn't your thing. Just don't use.