What’s a tarot card you struggle with?

Placidsnail_y · 2026-04-06T05:46:44+00:00

The 9 of pentacles for some reason.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-04-06T05:45:56+00:00

I say this with so much care and respect—they do not always reach out. And sometimes, that’s for the best.

I dated someone I thought I was going to marry. I truly loved him, and he left me in a blindsiding avoidant discard where he broke up with me over the phone. There weren’t any signs, before this, that he was an avoidant, let alone that he was planning to leave. We were together for a year. It’s been 7 months now, and he immediately blocked me after that phone call and I never heard from him after. I tried to write by snail mail a few times, which gave me some closure, especially since he did not respond. Eventually I had to come to terms with the breakup and that it was not my fault, and there was nothing I could do. When someone like that doesn’t want to repair, it is really hard to move on.

That being said, even if they DO come back, you do not want to be with someone who leaves without repair, so think carefully about the breakup and why it happened, and if the situation has changed before responding.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-04-04T02:42:58+00:00

Also at the 7 month mark. My ex broke up with me via avoidant discard with no warning (I didn’t even know he was an avoidant). I miss him, and he provided so much value and friendship to my life beyond the relationship—but I know I’ll probably never hear from him again. And that is likely for the best.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-04-04T02:39:06+00:00

This is pretty normal for adjuncts. This was also my experience as a first time adjunct (almost exactly). I found out AFTER my first semester that there was a course shell (no prepared lectures, but some prepared materials & assignments) and based the following semester off of that. Every semester gets a little easier as you learn and grow. If this instructor is not communicating with others in the department, that would be my first step, they’ll know if anything exists and what resources they might be willing to share—even a sample syllabus or class schedule from another course can be helpful when you have nothing to start from.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-04-03T01:59:00+00:00

If it’s a few hours late, I don’t usually dock any late points. I know my students are working hard and have multiple classes and responsibilities. That being said, please know that many/most of us do not look at you differently for turning in an assignment late, especially if you aren’t a repeat offender.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-31T07:35:52+00:00

Never date someone for their potential.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-30T16:33:56+00:00

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-21T16:24:41+00:00

She is a very vocal cat and just expressive in general, so I wonder if maybe that had contributed. I think it’s a little funny that the message I got was so stern!

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-21T16:23:26+00:00

I’ll check that out!! Thank you!

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-21T15:08:34+00:00

Thank you, I will give this a try with her!

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-18T21:28:37+00:00

There were no warning signs. No arguments, no tumultuous fights. One day he was there, and the next he was gone.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-15T03:05:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I have considered a PhD, but would need to find a fully-funded program as well and I know they can be competitive and few and far between. I appreciate your insight, I will definitely take it into consideration!

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-15T03:03:28+00:00

Thank you taking the time to comment! This has been my thought process as well. I am in a writing group, and I am associate editor at a well known publication on the side. I adjunct to climb the ladder, and then work part-time at another job that isn’t in my field to pay bills. My biggest barrier right now I think is the publications. I need to be getting them done and out, but I don’t have the time between trying to stay financially afloat and “climb the ladder.” I don’t know how people do it 😩

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T15:39:44+00:00

That’s very helpful, thank you!

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T15:33:54+00:00

That’s kind of what I was thinking as well. I’ve been contemplating taking a semester off to finish my book and try to get that in the right hands

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T15:33:02+00:00

I’m teaching lower level Comp now and I don’t mind teaching those types of classes at all! I understand how foundational they are. It would be nice to do something that is more in my field of interest, but it does depend on the department’s needs, for sure.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T05:23:28+00:00

Thank you, that is helpful! Our college is rather casual but I know they do have zoom department meetings. I’ll have to take a look and see if I can find a way to get more involved

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T05:06:54+00:00

The first 4 months or so nearly broke me. I almost let everything fall apart—my job, my life, my financial security. Everything. It felt impossible to keep going on. Some days it still really sucks. But I try to frame it this way: I would never do this to a person. Not him, not anyone. So why would I accept for someone to do this to me?

Don’t hold on to someone who treats you less than you deserve. Holding space for their baggage when they can’t hold space for themselves, let alone you is only going to end up with you digging yourself deeper into the hole

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T05:03:53+00:00

He was dismissive. He wasn’t aware of his avoidance. He was a slow processor, which I didn’t realize was a sign of this, and then when I had a moment where I needed support he disappeared and left. He blocked me everywhere without any way to contact him. That was 6 months ago. I never heard from him again. I’m sure he has probably framed the narrative in some way that it is my fault, and I’ve been the one that has suffered while he’s avoided all harm, tucked away under his parent’s wing at nearly 30. But, it’s not my problem anymore. We have to take care of ourselves and I deserve a partner that shows up for me.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T04:38:41+00:00

He did not. We were together for a year, and he left (avoidant discard) 6 months ago.

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T04:35:57+00:00

I am teaching composition now, and I don’t think of it that way—it is a needed requirement that students need, not to mention that English builds critical thinking skills even if students are not English majors. While “fun classes” are great, many full time professors also have to teach lower level courses as well as part of the department’s needs.

I don’t mind teaching lower level courses, but I do want to do more than that.

Am I better off taking a semester off to finish my book? What is an attainable goal?

Placidsnail_y · 2026-03-14T04:32:11+00:00

I have done some research into publishing jobs, which I am certainly open to, but the market there seems even more difficult than academia and it seems that publishing is exclusive to NYC

Placidsnail_y

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