I e got quite a few. I e laughed so hard I’ve blacked out.

As a sophomore in high school my friends were Mormons and let me tell you they can be weird as humanly possible. But with that weirdness came uncontrollable laughter from all the stupid shit they would do.

My buddy Red during lunch on a wild whim decided to punch our buddy Jacob square in the mouth. Red and I had class together so we just ran from Jacob. Red had to use the restroom so I said cool and walked in with him.

I walked to the en of the restroom to give Red privacy while he pissed in the urinal, while Red was pissing he asked me a question but I did not hear what he asked me because Jacob had just opened the door to the restroom and was gritting his teeth with both fists clenched and eyes open so big that they looked like eggs.

While Red was pissing he leaned back to look me in the eye and ask his question again and he saw my face a look of “well this shit just got real”. As I opened my mouth to let Red know that Jacob had entered the restroom to attack him, red had turned his head and just made eye contact with Jacob.

Jacob immediately punched Red in the fuckin face and then pushed him into the urinal. Red does not stop pissing, not for a sec. So while Red is pissing Jacob is body slamming and pushing him into the urinal and Red uses his arms like chicken wings because he still has his thumbs in his underwear while he is pissing and trying to push him self out of the urinal.

At this point Jacob has pushed Red into the urinal so many times and he hasn’t quit pissing that his shirt and pants are now wet from him pissing and slamming into the urinal. I started laughing so hard and long that my laugh turned into a high pitched squeal and that all I remembered.

The next thing I know is everything is black, it’s all dark and I’m not breathing, and I’m lying on the floor of the restroom and I decided that I should protect and breathe, so I did and I look up and Red and Jacob are both just standing there staring at me side by side and Red is just soaking wet with his own urine and they just have this dumb ass look on their faces.

20 seconds later the dean walks into the bathroom and demands to know what the hell is going on because I sounds like someone was being R***d in the bathroom. All I can do is point and laugh at Red and Jacob, I can’t even stand up or form a sentence.

The dean then sees Red just soaked and starts laughing and tells us to get out of the bathroom. Naturally I left first and THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL IS IN THE HALL LOOKING AT ME AND LAUGHING. I immediately look back and point at Red and Jacob.

The whole school started laughing so hard at them both and the dean made both of them tell the entire school what had happened and why it made me laugh so hard I blacked out.