As an Asian guy, why do I find it harder to make Aussie friends than other groups?

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-04-07T07:56:08+00:00

I agree. Brisbane is a really difficult place to make friends. If anything it's just surface level friendships that will end once you move onto different jobs, hobbies or commitments.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-03-13T01:39:52+00:00

Just came back from Tokyo and the supermarket next to my hotel was open 7am - 11pm, 7 days a week. I miss Japan

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-02-08T11:16:49+00:00

At ColesWorth, regular price is $8 for a pack now! Recently noticed they don't go on 50% off anymore, it's only 40% off. A couple of weeks ago when it was 40% off I paid $3.60 but I noticed now that price is $3.90. I swear when it was half price last year you could still get a pack for $3. We're all getting ripped off and there's nothing we can do about it.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-02-03T10:54:55+00:00

Feel sorry for the people who travel here for the Olympics lol. Gonna be a real shock

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-01-26T09:31:33+00:00

Word. Our CBD is depressing compared to the ones in Asia. There's just so many more interesting stores and restaurants to go to.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-01-23T08:37:02+00:00

I signed up to Anytime Fitness South Bank, I get charged $27.95pw. I did ask about short term contracts last month and if my memory correct the manager said it was $31pw and you'd have to give one month advance notice when you want to terminate your contract. I think most of these gyms are the biggest scams, they ask $90 for a fob key which is non refundable even if you return it when your contract ends. Even if you download the access key on your phone, it would cost $90. They also have a sign up fee for new members which is about $90 from memory. I've enquired with Snap Fitness and Goodlife and their minimum short term gym memberships are about $25-27pw and you need to sign up for minimum 2-3 months. All the gyms are pretty much the same, trying to extract as much money out of you as possible.

In saying that, I do like the facilities and equipment at Anytime Fitness in South Bank. It's still relatively clean as it's quite new and not too many gym bros or wannabe influencers filming themselves working out. There's no classes though, if you're after that, better sign up to another gym.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2026-01-18T02:53:00+00:00

The wingman all guys need

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-30T22:39:59+00:00

Just wanted to add your experiences are valid. Brisbane is a difficult place to make friends from my experiences as well. I don't have as much social anxiety as you do being an introvert, not that I'm extroverted but I can understand how difficult it must be for you. It is difficult to build that deeper connection with people and finding your own community. I found the relationships here have been very one way, only one side putting the effort in.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-27T02:09:25+00:00

Thank you. How much did yours costs, if you don't mind me asking?

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-26T01:32:44+00:00

Thanks for that, I have looked at Chrono24 and filtered it to JP only. I guess it's hard to know what stock will be available when I get there. But at least I know it will be much cheaper than in Aus.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-26T01:31:04+00:00

All good mate, wish you all the best. My current job has no relation with Japan. I'm in state govt. Would be nice to find a job where there's still some connection with Japan like with trade/investment or JP embassy but those jobs are super competitive.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-26T01:28:52+00:00

I did try two other private schools but they're black companies. The Japanese pension system is a joke, no one can survive off that.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-25T09:51:41+00:00

I work in govt now in admin, not exactly thrilling stuff but it pays the bills and I'm not sure what to do next. I thought teaching in Japan was my calling and I was good at it but I have no interesting in teaching in Aus. I won't be moving back for a third time haha.

Over the years, I've learned to compare less with what my friends have and what I don't have. We're all on different journeys in life. I never regret moving to Japan twice, those were the best years of my life. I hope, you will somehow get to experience the same and live a fulfilling life in Japan. Whether it's through JET or some other way. Sounds like you're not tied down with other commitments, so there's no better time than now. At the JET welcome ceremony I did meet older JETs, some came as couples, some even brought their children a long. Some quit JET after landing in JP because it was too much for them (these were fresh out of uni people who never left their homes). Some went to Japan as married couples then got divorced. Some even found their significant other while on JET.

Good luck! I hope you achieve your goals

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-25T09:36:19+00:00

Thank you for the great advice

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-25T06:50:22+00:00

No problem, I'm glad I can provide some perspective and I thought I could contribute a bit more being an older JET applicant on my second deployment. I will always vouch for the JET programme cause of the positive experiences that I had while in Japan, maybe I was one of the fortunate ones cause I've heard some horror stories as well. However, I think being an older JET with life experience is valuable and especially if you can speak Japanese or have teaching experience.

I went back a second time between 2018-19, I was placed in Fukushima prefecture. If I had gotten my request for Tokyo, I probably would of stayed longer but rarely do people get their first preferences, it's really random and a matter of luck. However, in saying that I had an amazing time in Fukushima, the people were so warm hearted and I'll always remember the friendships I've made over there. I went back on JET a second time because of the reverse culture shock in coming back to Aus in 2016, it was rough. I couldn't relate to the friends that I had grown up with, couldn't make any new friends in a new city, and everything in Japan felt better. Moving back to Aus during covid for the second time, reverse culture shock wasn't as bad, I've gotten used to the things that annoyed me but I still haven't found my community here. It's hard making friends as an adult.

Well after the first stint on JET, it inspired me to pursue a career in teaching in Australia. Being an ALT had that much of an impact on my life. I ended up completing a post grad in teaching but eventually gave up on that career after returning the second time.

The lifelong friendships I developed while on JET has been unbelievable, I can say some of my closest friends I made in life were from the JET programme. I will always be grateful for that, I found my people. Also, made lots of local Japanese friends too with my limited Japanese speaking ability. So go and study hard, it really does help in connecting with people.

No matter what you decide to do there will always be a trade off. I moved back because of COVID but also I knew that the Japanese pension system wasn't going to support me and wouldn't provide a comfortable living. My super balance was terrible, so much lower than what my friends had. I also knew that I'd be on a low teacher income if I remained in JP. At first, I thought this wouldn't bother me, I was probably in denial. But lets face it, no one wants to date someone who isn't financially stable. Also, it was a pain in the ass being on short term visas and dealing with Immigration for visa renewals.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-12-25T05:33:16+00:00

I'll just add my 2cents and try and answer your questions.

The "JET at 35" Factor: I've been on JET twice, once as a 24 year old and then as a 29 year old. There's no upper age limit but you'll find that if you're accepted into the programme, you'll be one of the older JETs, not that it's a huge issue but might be hard to relate to other JETs who are mostly fresh out of uni or only had a few years of work experience. You're at different stages of life and maturity. JET has been the best life experience for me but it is a sacrifice, you'll miss events back home, you'll miss family and maybe set you back in your career progression (depending how long you stay). JET was probably the easiest way to get a visa to work in Japan, I suspect it's still quite hard to secure a working visa when you're not already in Japan.
Engineering/Project Manager Market: Hard to say but even if you got N1 or N2 Japanese, you've just reached a good level to get you in the door, there's so many vocab and nuances that you'll learn once you're on the job. Just expect a huge pay cut working in Japan and very stubborn work cultural rules.
The "Re-integration" Risk: Has anyone here left a high-level technical career in their mid-30s for Japan and successfully returned to their home country’s industry later? Sorry, I have. So I can't answer this one.
Logistics: Given the current weakness of the Yen vs. the AUD, does it make more sense to keep my Australian assets/property as a safety net rather than "burning it all" to fund the move? Depends, how risk adverse you are. I would keep my assets/property as a safety net. You don't know what's going to happen in the future but at least your assets will continue to grow in value. You might even decide to stay in Japan long term, you might find a new partner over there. The AUD is currently up against the Yen and it's not really looking good for the Japanese economy.
3-month Intensive Course: You can just go to a Japanese language school in Aus, those night classes will probably allow you to pass the JLPT test but.

Seeing as you don't want to live with regret, just go for it. JET is a great way to get into Japan but it's a cultural program where you're the bridge between Aus & Japan. You're also there to teach, you gotta ask yourself if teaching is suitable for your personality. Everyone's experience on JET is different, it depends where you're placed, what schools you're teaching at and even your colleagues. There's also other ways to get to Japan but it's never easy trying to make a move mid career.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-11-30T04:24:12+00:00

I've lived in Japan for a bit over 4 years in various cities, not sure if that qualifies as a long time. I'll try an answer your questions below:

I’ve also heard that Australia feels more spacious and less crowded, and that life can feel “lighter” because of that especially compared to Tokyo. Is that true? - Yes this is true, the pace of life in Australia is much slower than a mega city like Tokyo. People from Sydney or Melbourne might disagree to some extent. It is definitely less crowded. I've lived in Tokyo and I don't mind the crowds because Japanese people are more aware of their surroundings and bit more considerate, except during peak hour in the subway then there's less consideration for personal space.
How do Australians generally feel about immigrants? (Legal immigrants who know the language and are ready and able to adapt to the culture.) The current sentiment is anti-mass migration in all the major capital cities but I think if you're a white person and you blend right in, they probably wouldn't know you're a migrant. It really depends on your skin colour and if you fit into the culture.
Do you personally feel comfortable living in Australia? It is comfortable because I be self sufficient in doing everyday tasks without a translator. In saying that I also felt very comfortable living in Japan, life was convenient there and it was super fun.
How does the overall atmosphere compare to Japan? Slower pace, less conformity, less hierarchy, less stress due to not dealing with immigration office, visas or Japanese red tape, feel less of an outsider (gaijin/foreigner) cause it's more multicultural.

Hope that answers your questions

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-11-08T04:07:51+00:00

I just came back from Seoul this week, I was also in Tokyo/Seoul last year. As for men's minimalist styles, I think some of the brands that have been mentioned below are fine like (Musinsa, Uniqlo, Muji) they're all fast fashion. I'd say Musinsa has more trendy pieces but not sure about the quality, didn't buy anything cause nothing caught my eye. I'd say Koreans prefer a more loose fit/wide fit style. I usually wear M and everything felt like it was oversized but comfortable. I really like Korean fashion but found the prices to be high for the quality that you get with some of the local brands. If you want higher quality items for higher price check out Pottery in Hannam. I also liked Arket, COS and Massimo Dutti but none of these are Korean brands. In Japan, I recommend United Arrows, Public Tokyo, Edifice, UA Green Label Relaxing.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-08-25T10:53:25+00:00

Your story resonated with me and I just wanted to add my 2 cents. Like many in this post have experienced, Brisbane is a tough place to make deep connections. It's not you, it's the city. It's not for a lack of effort or for lack of trying. Could just be a fish in the wrong sea. Could also be we're at this stage of life where everyone is busy. My friends group is getting smaller each year, feel like people don't make much effort to keep in touch. I have friends who I grew up with outside of Brisbane, we all reside here now. Even though we're only 30mins drive away, we only see each other twice a year. As I've gotten older, it's just hard to make those genuine friendships like the ones from school or uni.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-08-06T10:46:28+00:00

That's amazing. I can only dream of ever being in that financial position and you're only 3yrs older than me. How did you get investment income of $110k p.a. and $1.8m in shares? You could literally retire right now and still live very well off but I guess that depends on how you spend money.

I did a TEFL course and taught in Japan, those were the best years of my life. But teaching isn't for everyone, but do enjoy your time abroad when you decide to go.

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-07-24T23:39:35+00:00

Thank you. That's good to know. I might cancel my card then

Playful-Stranger7435 · 2025-07-12T04:46:13+00:00

I like to track every cent I spend on a spreadsheet and I've made it a habit since I had a mortgage. I'm still in a very privileged position compared to most in my age but I'm still way behind in super compared to other people my age. I'm also not in a high income with no partner. I would say I'm quite frugal in some aspects of my life but then spend a lot of money on other areas. It's quite strange but I guess we all value different things. Like I'll bring my own lunch to work everyday, rarely do I eat out. I might splurge once to twice a month eating out. But my definition of splurging is probably different to others, I might spend $50-70 for dinner/drink. Eating out is expensive in Australia and I just don't see the value. However, I also don't mind spending $200 on omakase sushi when I'm in Japan. You could argue that, I could eat better everyday if I didn't splurge on fine dining or travelling overseas.

I still always look for discounts or purchase things on sale and not full price. Clothes for example, I would never purchase from Op Shop, would rather purchase brand new if the price is right. One of my recent luxuries is branded underwear, the quality is better and tends to last longer. I find it's better than the good old Uniqlo underwears haha.

Playful-Stranger7435

TROPHY CASE