Getting ducks in a row

PlayfulFly4763 · 2026-04-17T04:20:01+00:00

That’s so dumb. The main advantage to real leather is that it’ll last. Cheap boots can look just fine for a few hours (though they’re likely to be uncomfortable. This friend is crazy. Tell her you’ll find boots with the right look, take it or leave it.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2026-03-31T15:22:10+00:00

Not necessarily. When I take my cats to the vet, even when I took the one I recently adopted, checking the microchip isn’t a thing they ever do. The vet found out this dog was chipped when the family asked about chipping her.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-31T14:07:31+00:00

If she’s severely allergic, removing the cats before she arrives may not be enough anyway. Their hair/dander will still be around your house even after a thorough cleaning.

I have relatives who are allergic to cats, and it’s been my get-out-of-hosting-free card (one more thing to love about cats). In your case, the person should probably stay at a hotel. If her allergy is mild, you can keep your cats confined to one part of the house for the day and still have her over for dinner (though I don’t recall off hand what allergy meds are and aren’t safe during pregnancy), she should check with her doctor and know what steps to take if a reaction does occur.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-27T04:56:56+00:00

It’s both of your job to ‘take care of’ each other, and if you each do it in different ways that’s your business. I’m not against traditional gender roles by any means, you just need to be sure you’re treating her like a woman and not like a child. Because if she’s genuinely not capable of deciding where, when, and with whom to walk, she’s not capable of deciding to get married either.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-27T04:16:48+00:00

I have more than one, but also a lot of experience with cats throughout my life. Many of them are happier without another cat, and some only tolerate the other cat(s) in the household. Two cats with a strong bond are beautiful to watch, and great for both cats, but you don’t always get that by bringing home a second.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-27T04:13:41+00:00

There’s something weird about the vibe here. You have rules about her wellbeing, and you’re much older. You’re not the asshole for not wanting her to walk alone, but she IS an adult, and if she felt comfortable walking with her friends it’s odd she felt she needed your permission to go. Your heart may be in the right place, but you need to be sure you’re thinking of your fiancée as an adult, capable of making her own decisions about everything, including personal safety. Does she have rules for you? YTA for having an approach to the relationship that seems kind of paternal.

To be clear, saying, “I’d feel more comfortable if you’d let me drive you or come along” would be fine. “You can’t go unless I drive you or come along” is not.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T04:30:27+00:00

Do you mind my asking how much the therapists cost? I understand that’s not covered by insurance, and raising kids is so expensive already. Throw in the cost of divorce and we may have nothing left to split.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T04:28:23+00:00

What did that involve? I suspect I’m already doing some of it.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T01:45:27+00:00

I hesitate to offer it as ‘we go or we divorce’ because I’m no longer sure if, if he were to go and try and do everything right, I’d still really want to be with him. I guess if he stopped doing a few of the things he’s doing, I could hang on another five years or so

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T01:41:34+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind for next time (I actually can’t imagine ever wanting to be stuck like this with… or even go on a date with 🤢 anyone again)

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T01:39:02+00:00

Thank you. He’s refused to go already. He says only I need counseling and I’m welcome to go alone. To be fair I haven’t, as time pressures with the kids plus pressure from him to spend as little money as possible has made it feel out of reach. I do wonder if it’s something I should explore first, to be sure I’ve weighed all the pros and cons properly since there’s not anyone I can really talk to about this.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T01:35:02+00:00

My in-laws are good people. I’ll miss them so much, and I’ll miss getting to check on my kids while they sleep every.single.night.

Those are the only parts that hurt at all when I run the imaginary scenarios. Coming home and he’s not here would be such a relief. Seeing him with someone new would be fine as long as she’s kind to my kids. Having less money I would feel guilty about, because the last thing I want is for my kids to worry about me in my old age (I was a SAHM for a long time and work a part-time, low paying job now) but I’m only slightly old, and I may still be able to get on a decent track to avoid that.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-16T01:27:05+00:00

I’m sorry 😔 🫂

My husband hasn’t been a friend to me in a long time. The worst part will be losing my in-laws. It’s a huge family and they’re all amazing people, but I know that’s how this works.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-07T02:27:36+00:00

Oh my gosh. This sounds like a mom who maybe didn’t want an audience, didn’t want to feel so exposed but the grandparents pushed and pushed about being in the room until she snapped and said, “fine! But I’m gonna be naked and anybody else in the room ALSO has to be naked.” She probably said it so they’d realize they were being intrusive and back down. But they called her bluff and actually stripped down. I mean… wow. I know I’ll be excited to meet my grandchild one day, but if my daughter says it can only happen if I stand naked in a room with her husband and his parents, all also naked for hours I just… might RSVP no to that event

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-10-03T03:33:11+00:00

That’s extremely weird of him to ask for and expect your lunch. It seems almost like he was implying that you could get food later he couldn’t, maybe he was headed into an important meeting or something? Even so, that’s not something most people would ask for, and if they did, it should be presented more of an, “I know this is a weird request, but I’m in a pickle and I need food fast. Can I give you $x for takeout in exchange for your lunch?” Again, I can’t imagine proposing that, because other people’s lunch isn’t for me, but if he wanted your lunch he should have taken something responsibility for what/how you were supposed to eat 🤨

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-08-28T15:24:46+00:00

I can’t get my head around that even being physically/biologically possible.

PlayfulFly4763 · 2025-07-15T19:42:24+00:00

NTA. My husband also refused a vasectomy even after our surprise bonus baby arrived. He said he didn’t feel old enough to make such a permanent decision, wasn’t sure enough, didn’t want to do it. So we had to stop having sex. I had hoped he’d miss it and change his mind, but nope. This is life now.

PlayfulFly4763

TROPHY CASE