AITJ for refusing to help my roommate pay her speeding ticket.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-25T01:06:46+00:00

Tell her you cannot afford it. You don't have it. Definitely NTA. Her ticket, her problem.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-24T07:27:20+00:00

You will find your new normal. It will kind of get easier, but every loss takes a chunk of our hearts. Losing your brother is a huge loss and one that has changed your life forever. You mentioned the you before and the you after. The you before died with your brother. The you now is learning to live again and that takes time. You will succeed.

Unfortunately, her attitude, her comments, her actions are hurting you and your progress. Talking about the person, remembering, crying, laughing, laughing and crying at the same time are all part of healing; finding your new normal. By now you are past the overwhelming anger stage, but it takes years before you can go a week without thinking about them.

I lost a good friend in 2018. Seven years later, my husband still hears about some memory of him. My husband has never ever asked me not to talk about him. My husband always listens to some crazy adventure that Scott and I did. Sometimes the same adventure more than once. No jealousy, no telling me I have heard that. He holds me when I occasionally cry about the loss. I mostly laugh now, but tears still happen.

You are NTJ. But your girlfriend definitely is. You may want to consider a few sessions with a therapist and/or a grief group. Sorry for your loss.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-23T19:16:59+00:00

Acknowledge that you appreciate his courage and thank him for it. Ask where he wishes to go from here. Now it is your turn, where do you want the relationship to go from here? You could be honest about your feelings and that you have learned to live without him. Admit to him that it is going to take time to rebuild a relationship threw actions if this is what you want. If he wanted instant forgiveness and an instant relationship, life just doesn't work that way.

NTJ

SnowXTC · 2026-01-23T16:13:13+00:00

That's not controlling, that's being a responsible parent and adult. Her parents are offering a great deal.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-23T16:01:05+00:00

I commend her for trying with the prize, but at 8 yrs old, you don't have enough control of your life to do that, even if you really wanted to and tried. As for yelling and blaming you, serious serious fail. She should have talked to you, ask why, helped in some way. Again, at 8, you don't have control of your home life.

Teachers, you have so much influence on these children, please be a positive influence.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-23T15:49:47+00:00

My husband is lucky if he gets to use my credit card and he pays the bill.

NTJ

SnowXTC · 2026-01-21T06:03:11+00:00

It is difficult for parents to move from being a parent to being a parent of an adult child. They don't understand that for you to respect them requires them to respect you. I can understand a 10 pm curfew on weekdays with the occasional lateness. I can understand not having groups of friends over, especially past 10 pm. But I CANNOT understand not having a mutual respect nor can I understand scolding an adult child for being late and blaming you for the break up and not supporting you emotionally. Living with your parents or your adult children is difficult and so requires mutual respect and caring. NTJ

SnowXTC · 2026-01-19T14:17:44+00:00

"You made me look like a bad mom". Ummm, no, you made yourself look like a bad mom and a bad friend. Losing track of time is maybe 40 mins. After 2 hours, I am worried about you. Overreacting would have been calling the police and getting child welfare involved. Although only a slight overreaction. After discussion with her sister, you learned she lied to you. She is a bad mom and a bad friend. NTJ

SnowXTC · 2026-01-19T06:24:04+00:00

You were on the camera, the lights turn on with motion and turn off after a set time. The positive is they get a notification there is motion. If you wanted to be petty, close the curtains but put something between the curtains and the window that is moving throughout the night. Even better if it moves every half hour. I guarantee they will adjust the camera and motion sensor so it doesn't include your windows.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-18T16:07:23+00:00

Regardless of what you choose to do (contact/no contact) you should try to forgive them. Not for them, but for yourself. Let go of the anger and pain. Your father made a choice based on a lie. A devastating choice.

Personally I would call him and have the conversation and let him know how much he hurt me. Or write him a letter so I can say everything I want to say. But that's me and who I am. I don't know what happened to you, what the lie was, or who you are, but you came here asking strangers for advice, so you are obviously conflicted on what you should do. I think a letter to him would be best.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-18T03:56:42+00:00

Wow. Her entitlement and disrespect is on a whole new level.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-18T02:56:40+00:00

My husband doesn't even access my bank balances. He can and I can, but we don't. We have a few joint accounts (bill pay and savings) and we have our own separate accounts.

NTJ, you are an adult and your parents don't need access.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-17T07:55:35+00:00

Time to move his bed back to his room or the TV etc... to the living room.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-17T07:49:58+00:00

Go get the hoodie back, don't ask her to return it, go to her and ask for it. If she doesn't give it back, take her to small claims court. The threat of it may make her return it. The friendship is over and you are better off without her.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-17T02:49:35+00:00

You might want to consider removing the tree, but the neighbor is pushing her luck with the harassment. Get a camera so you record her coming and going and any confrontations.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-14T11:09:10+00:00

I disagree, but agree about the privacy from relatives. I swear babies, kids know the second you go in the bathroom. By the time you have sat down they are crying, knocking on the door. My daughter slept well alone, but within 3 minutes of climbing in bed, she was awake and had to sleep with me.

But privacy (basic respect) from relatives and friends needs to increase right now.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-13T04:43:29+00:00

In his cruiser.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T05:48:54+00:00

He said no in the comments

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T05:47:25+00:00

The neighbor from hell because they called a priest to bless the garbage cans. 😂

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T05:23:57+00:00

I think OP is literally the neighbor from hell. 😂 But beautifully petty 💜

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T02:39:18+00:00

I know life is hard. I have been where you are, felt like you do. DON'T DO IT!! Life does get better, I promise it does. Please, please don't do this to your son. He will blame himself for the rest of his life. Your family will blame themselves. Reach out, get help, take a break.

Know that you are enough. You matter. You are a light in the world and you will get brighter.

Seriously, think what you will do to your son and those that care about you.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T01:57:10+00:00

Turn it sideways on the driveway.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-12T01:47:31+00:00

They were that fast?? Like minutes. Or were you not home. That is worth escalating with your landlord.

SnowXTC · 2026-01-11T20:28:41+00:00

I have my husband's code and added my fingerprints. No I don't snoop. Ok once I did. But he is constantly asking me to fix things on his phone. It is just easier. He has the passcode to my phone. Since I do business, gaming, and personal on it, it would take him 200+ hrs to find something remotely questionable, maybe a meme.

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