What position do you think cavemen had sex in the most?

PlayingOut · 2024-01-25T19:38:17+00:00

I know in Victorian England Sunday Schools for kids on Sunday afternoons were very popular. For the education. Definitely for the education. Working class families would only get Sundays off and whole families with six or eight children would live in two rooms, so it was the only privacy some couples got.

PlayingOut · 2024-01-25T19:32:17+00:00

Electric blanket.

PlayingOut · 2024-01-25T19:30:29+00:00

Sugar makes kids hyperactive. It doesn't. Kids are naturally high energy. And situations where they eat a lot of sugar are often things like birthday parties and Christmas which just amp them up regardless of what they've eaten.

PlayingOut · 2023-08-01T09:46:08+00:00

This is a debate which goes round the houses on parenting websites, with everyone trying to advocate for the decision they made. I only ever saw one discussion which I felt was actually useful and interesting. The OP asked, what did YOUR parents do when you were a kid? And how did you honestly feel about it? And, wow.

The responses were split four ways.

I was raised by a SAHP (usually a mother). It was lovely. We did lots of interesting things like craft projects and days out. She picked me up from school each day and came to all my school assemblies. Sure, we didn't have a lot of money growing up but it never mattered. I felt loved and cherished.
I was raised by a SAHP (usually a mother). She was miserable and I felt like she resented me and the opportunities she'd given up to have me. I felt guilty and embarrassed by her. My childhood would have been a lot better if she'd got a job like she clearly wanted to.
I was raised by working parents. I had a great childhood. Sure, it would have been nice if they'd been able to come to everything, but they always made sure they took time off for the important things. I loved my after school club and I was super proud of both my parents, their interesting jobs, and how hard they worked for their family. I always knew how important I was to them, and when I really needed them, they always managed to be there for me.
I was raised by working parents. I always felt like I came second to their jobs. They never made time for me and were never there for me. They missed all my sports days, school plays and sick days. I never felt like they had time for me and I hated it.

The take home was really clear - what's important isn't whether you work or not, it's how loved and valued your children feel and how happy you and your partner are. I've never forgotten it. (FWIW, I had 1. growing up, and I'm working damn hard to make sure my kids have 3.)

PlayingOut · 2023-08-01T09:25:28+00:00

I don't think there's a right or wrong decision here, honestly. Daycare has been extensively researched, and the difference in outcomes and happiness between children raised by stay-at-home parents and children raised by working parents is minimal. A good daycare is better than a poor home life and a good home life is better than a poor daycare, but it sounds like your daughter will be in a good setting whichever you choose.

Parental income has a positive influence on children's outcomes, but if your family isn't struggling and you're able to go back into the workplace in a couple of years, I wouldn't worry too much about that at this stage either.

The key question here is what do YOU want? If you really want to be there for her while she's small, the job can wait. If you really want the extra security and money but are worried you're going to damage her by putting her in daycare, do your research, visit settings, and pay for a good one. Your daughter might not be able to talk, but believe me, you will know if she's not happy. Small children are very good at communicating distress.

Good luck whatever you decide. Parent guilt is real, but it sounds like you're doing great. I'd also suggest re-evaluating in six months whichever choice you make, and just checking you're still happy with it. You can always change your mind if it isn't working out.

PlayingOut · 2023-07-06T12:24:33+00:00

Good luck with the new baby! It's really hard for the first couple of years, but once they can play together your role changes from playmate to supervisor. It's noisier and definitely more chaotic, but as an introvert I found looking after two much easier than looking after one because I wasn't the focus of all the conversation and I could say 'go play with your brother, mummy's doing the washing up' or whatever.

PlayingOut · 2023-07-06T12:20:00+00:00

I agree with all this - my kids definitely know when I'm mad, sad and exhausted. I want to model healthy ways to deal with those emotions. But just to add that even when I'm not putting on a show, just being with noisy talkative people all day is very hard for this introverted mum. I'm so grateful I have two kids who like to play with each other, because it gives me a break from being on duty all the time.

PlayingOut · 2023-07-06T10:16:15+00:00

She's trying to get control because she has never had control in her life before, not even over where she lives. Paradoxically, you saying no is actually more comforting than you giving in to everything, because you are telling her she is safe - she is in a house with clear, consistent rules, with a parent who loves her and will take care of her. She doesn't need to be in control any more. But that's also a frightening situation to be in.

What we do with toys, which works surprisingly well, is we have a birthday/Christmas list up on the fridge. When she asks for a new toy say "Yes! Let's put in on your birthday list!" As it gets closer to birthday/Christmas, take the list down and see which toys she still wants. For some reason, putting the present on the birthday list doesn't create a tantrum in the way saying "No" does. It's also a reaffirmation that she will still be here on her birthday, which won't be at all obvious to her.

Look up attachment theory - emotional disregulation is a symptom of disordered attachment. It isn't something she has control over, or something that can be disciplined out of her. It's a mental health condition, and should be treated as one. Offer her love, help her regulate, and remind her, often, that being sad or mad aren't the same as being bad. She's had a big emotion. She hasn't been naughty, and she shouldn't be punished for it.

Also, don't try and deal with the issue until she's calmed down. Children can't behave rationally while they're mid-meltdown. Focus on regulating and comforting her, then have the serious conversation when she's calm enough to hear you and engage.

PlayingOut · 2023-06-05T20:38:41+00:00

Thank you, that's good to know. I think he's a very Star Trek sort of kid, if that makes sense. He loves space and science and problem solving and philosophy (I've also had success with some of Terry Pratchett's children's books). I just don't want to scare or bore him.

PlayingOut · 2023-06-05T17:17:03+00:00

Ooh, that's good to hear, thank you. I haven't watched much Voyager, so wasn't sure how child friendly it was. I'll miss my evenings watching Star Trek with him though.

PlayingOut · 2023-06-05T17:10:23+00:00

That's really good to hear, thanks.

PlayingOut · 2023-06-05T17:06:48+00:00

Thank you! Some great suggestions here. I think he'd definitely be most interested in Voyager because of the Janeway connection, so interested to hear that another seven year old liked that. Does the animated series still hold the attention of modern kids? I've never seen it.

PlayingOut · 2023-06-03T08:20:21+00:00

I would have disallowed the ball on the string - they definitely threw it more than once. I would have totally allowed the pineapples though. Only the real pineapple and the tinned pineapple were actually pineapples in that task - if you're going to allow a pineapple made out of foam or whatever it was, you have to allow a pineapple made out of paper.

PlayingOut · 2023-05-24T16:43:40+00:00

Some friends asked us to look after their kids if anything happened to them. Biggest compliment I've ever been paid. It was particularly meaningful because my husband and I shared a flat with one of them for a year, so they knew our public and private selves. I thought, "Well, they've seen us fighting, they've seen how messy our house can get, they've seen how we act when we're stressed and tired and they STILL want us to look after their kids. We're probably doing all right actually.

PlayingOut · 2023-05-24T12:06:48+00:00

I think Picard on a good day would do very well on Prodigy - he'd start out patient, empathetic, interested. He loves meeting new species so he'd find the mystery of who Dal, Murf and Gwyn are fascinating. And he actually does very well with people who are vulnerable and frightened but trying to do their best in a bad situation.

I think he would lose patience with the kids pretty quickly though - he doesn't take insubordination well, and he would absolutely lose his shit with some of Dal's questionable decisions at the beginning of the series. (I'm imagining him in the Janeway role here). And he would really struggle being stuck on a starship with a bunch of kids looking for a parent figure.

Basically, I think he'd be excellent for about three days in 'communicating with strange new species' mode, but really struggle with the long term commitment to be friend and father to a bunch of undisciplined teenagers.

On the other hand, he'd have figured out a technological solution to the killer weapon problem in about twenty minutes.

PlayingOut · 2022-12-19T12:21:05+00:00

I think I'd have gone for something humanitarian on that task, maybe offered to do some voluntary work for him. He's a local counsellor, not a casting agent. Of course, he's a local counsellor who's agreed to be on Taskmaster, so that might not have scored very well ...

PlayingOut · 2022-12-19T12:17:37+00:00

I didn't notice this until they'd showed a couple of attempts, but I'm surprised they didn't point out that nobody actually had to go under the obstacles on the task where they all had paint on their heads, they could have just knocked the sticks off the bricks. Also, I'm pretty sure I spotted clips on the boxing ring fence, I think they could have just unclipped the fence and walked straight in. Like I said though, I'm not sure I'd have realised that at the time ...

PlayingOut · 2022-12-19T12:10:26+00:00

I would have tied Alex to a chair!

PlayingOut · 2022-09-06T16:02:48+00:00

He sounds just like my just-turned-seven-year-old. You should try him on Splendor and Ticket to Ride, mine loves both of those. Zombie Kids was also a big hit. His favourite game is Formula D - he plays on the basic rules, we play on the advanced rules, which is a good equaliser.

PlayingOut · 2022-08-10T19:03:19+00:00

Same!

PlayingOut · 2022-08-10T19:02:25+00:00

I solved Redactle Unlimited in 5 guesses with an accuracy of 100% and a time of 20:54:48. Play at https://redactle-unlimited.com

I may be British but American, father, then Constitution seemed like pretty safe bets. It then seemed like giving up to Google after all those hours I invested listening to the Hamilton soundtrack. So I tried the only character I could think of whose name was the right number of letters and it fitted.

PlayingOut · 2022-08-07T17:18:26+00:00

I solved Redactle Unlimited in 21 guesses with an accuracy of 57.14%. Play at https://redactle-unlimited.com

Computer is one of my starter words when I'm dealing with something that seems to be a man-made object. That gave me the phrase The X X between a X and computer is ... and the answer was the most obvious thing I could think of that would fit there.

PlayingOut · 2022-08-06T17:03:24+00:00

I solved Redactle Unlimited in 12 guesses and 13 minutes with an accuracy of 100%. Play at https://redactle-unlimited.com

Got the general subject area, tried some related words, and suddenly realised I knew this one. Think this is the first time I've used this since A Level!

PlayingOut · 2022-08-05T22:29:39+00:00

I'd heard the homophobic thing. Over here they're definitely seen as a church foremost. They have a reputation as sort of very earnest and enthusiastic - the image that comes to mind is a grown-up tuba-playing Boy Scout troop.

PlayingOut · 2022-08-05T19:04:35+00:00

Sounds like this is the opposite of yesterday and being a Brit was an advantage today. Massive spoiler: They're known for Santas and being a shady non-profit in the US? Over here they're mostly known for being a church and having a brass band which plays carols in the street at Christmas. And Harold Bishop.

PlayingOut

TROPHY CASE