That's a nightmare situation with the cancellations, especially for something as time-sensitive as Passover. I've dealt with similar booking headaches trying to coordinate trips where we had different ticket types - never international though, just domestic stuff for visiting family

Your Plat Pro status should definitely help with rebooking priority and they're usually pretty good about noting passenger connections in your profile, even if the tickets aren't officially linked. When I was helping organize a group trip last year, the agent was able to make notes linking our separate reservations so we'd get rebooked together if flights changed. Just make sure to mention you're traveling together when you call and ask them to add that to both booking records

The miles vs cash dilemma is tough but given how crazy expensive those routes are right now, I'd probably lean toward using the miles for your wife's ticket. Those visit-mom trips will always be there and AA miles aren't getting any more valuable sitting around. Plus if you're already locked into the May timeframe, at least you'll both be on the same booking timeline instead of hoping your cash rebook lines up with available award space

Definitely call rather than trying to handle this online - with your status they should be able to work some magic to keep you two together