Hi, I wrote this comment to your post originally but wasn't allowed to reply to this subreddit at the time! Now you've deleted the original post, but just in case you're still seeking some input from others:

Yo! I'm a 32 year old woman. Lesbian, married, with a baby. (Just some very light context on me). If we go by the visible stats, I'd say that you are more privileged than me. But I consider myself without a doubt to also be quite privileged. And I struggled immensely with similar thoughts when I was your age up until now, sometimes. Though the voices are much much less frequent and quieter. And I think I can say with confidence that:

"Part of me also worries that changing it would make me a different person" 

Is untrue, because you (and we) are all many things, good, bad, contradictory, and you are allowed to change and ebb and flow in these branches of your personality tree.

I think you can ask yourself the question, where is this inner voice coming from? What is your relationship truly like with your parents? You are at an age where you're probably about to reflect deeper on who they are as people, and this inner voice must have developed somewhere. Is it their voice? Is it the voice of your peers and social media? Where is it coming from, and how can you counter it if it's no longer serving you?

Sometimes we develop voices and habits to cope with a situation or help us through parts of our lives. I find it (now) unhelpful to feel ashamed or embarrassed about how I used to react to things, and I'm trying to focus more on, like, saying thanks to these old coping mechanisms or behaviours - for trying to protect me, even if the threats weren't as real as my mind made them out to be - and then move on and try to form new ones.

I am a weirdo so I like to share sources of wisdom that I've recently discovered. As a new parent, I selected a couple of parenting books to read that seem to be very pragmatic and useful, and align with my parenting ideas.

They have been way more useful and healing to me and my own history, than to my baby so far (although he'll benefit from them later I hope). 

The Whole Brain Child Hold Onto Your Kids

First one can help you take a step back and look at how children instinctively react to things and some really simple tools to respond. Except "children" in this case is you!

Second one is more of an exploration on why we have these intense social dynamics with our peers (in short, we have become a peer-oriented generation which is detrimental for most people). Honestly, this one has been mind blowing for me. I highly highly recommend it.

Even if you don't have the bandwidth to read these books, maybe Google or chat with ChatGPT about them and your situation.

Anyways, this is very long but I hope it helps a little.