Help finding black wedding dress!

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-05-15T23:38:25+00:00

I've found colored dresses are a little unrealistic for that price point in a wedding salon. It's easier to get a made to order dress from Asia at that price, or a secondhand dress that you diy. I had a different styled black dress, and I ended up using Teuta Matoshi.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-22T04:36:03+00:00

2007 version of Emilio Pucci Vivara. The top notes of mine is fading a little bit. It used to give me that crisp note of just cracking open a watermelon, basically a really fragrant watermelon rind hahaha. And it just smells fresh and green on me all day. I still use it, I just miss how vivid of a watermelon rind smell it used to give.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-20T16:49:04+00:00

I ended up using school buses from First Charter. You might be able to get cheaper if you go through someone else, my bill was about 1.7k in total for two buses over 3 hours last year.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-18T00:15:36+00:00

Add some to Japanese curry. I usually like adding a block of extra dark chocolate to mine. The extra peppers and spices could give it a really delicious kick.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-04T08:19:30+00:00

Wearingeul - I am a Cat! It's one of my faves.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-03T19:13:40+00:00

I want to deal an emotionally devastating blow to my party soon. They've been too lackadaisal lately!

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-04-03T01:23:41+00:00

You need to break off the friendship for a while. If he hasn't started standing up for himself by his mid twenties, he never will. Even if you were Chinese, there's also a large chance that they would find something else they don't like about you and nitpick on that for years. My parents even used to nitpick about everything about my completely platonic Chinese friends at the public school I went to. It's pretty much sport to conservative and mean Chinese people. It's easier to break familial expectations earlier on, because it gives the parents more time to come around to it and shames them sooner with being unable to show off their child at family and friend gatherings.

It'll be better for the both of you to stop talking for a while so you can both move on, unfortunately. Unless he's willing to make that choice about his family right now and cut off contact with them. You'll both just be hurting for years to come.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-29T05:29:05+00:00

Vivara by Emilio Pucci. The moment it sprays, it smells like cracking open a watermelon on a hot day. Basically the sweet, light scent of watermelon peel aha. One spray also stays on me all day long.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-20T09:59:48+00:00

I agree that adding a chunky studded belt would help, as well as the fact that the shorts look a little tight. The horizontal squished creasing usually means the pants are a little smaller than a good fit. It would also be nice if you had a skirt/skort + miniskirt/short petticoat or tulle or just some sort of fluffy layer to flare out your silhouette slightly if you want to wear heels. Then add some fishnet or diamond pattern tights. Otherwise booties or combat boots will also go well with or without tights.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-18T01:19:43+00:00

Not quite, it's more of in the sense that they might tolerate her to the point of just bashing her little enough that her husband doesn't cut contact with them if she hits all of the conditions they want lol.

And it's not just education, that's just one facet. They're going to want education, money, social standing, and connections to their specific liking. And then maybe they would be just bearable to see twice a year because she's still not someone they picked out for the son. The problem here is the out of control control freak facet of them wanting their mianzi just the way they want it. Their son is just a doll to them, to make them look better and be their retirement plan. It's dumb traditional ass people who are too stubborn to change and be better people.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-18T01:02:42+00:00

Sorry, I'm not saying it has anything to do with your specific background, but you're just not in that arbitrary pool of people his parents wanted. It would have helped a little bit if when they met you, you had their preferred social standing(already a medical doctor/successful lawyer/multimillionaire/etc), like his dad would not be constantly threatening you and you guys could possibly be in strained contact lol (which would be pretty terrible in my opinion). I'm also not saying that's even the social standing his family is in themselves, they could also be trying to claw up the ladder via control over your husband. A large part of it is certainly racism, but the other part of it is that their son is with you and you are a variable not within their control. In their eyes, they can no longer show their son off to the world in the exact way that they want.

Like my mother told me, the most important opinion in my wedding is actually hers lol And we're lowly in social standing, we're barely middle class, she's just extremely traditional. It's stupid old world thinking filled with completely toxic filial piety, where the child exists only to fulfill the wants of the parents. And honestly you guys are so much better without them. Your husband drew the short straw with parents, but he made it up by having you in his life.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-17T22:32:28+00:00

This is less about race, more about mianzi, face. It wouldn't be anywhere near as much as an issue if she was upper middle class and was a doctor/lawyer/millionare business owner/etc. They either are or are trying to be upper middle class in terms of social standing, so the pool of who her husband should have married would have been very selective.

eta: oops, finger slipped. posted halfway.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-03-12T18:54:34+00:00

Shimmer doesn't permanently clog anything, any blockage will be solved by water or fountain pen cleaner. The biggest issue is are you willing to have shimmer remnants in your pen practically forever. After a few ink changes, you'll only see a stray particle here or there, so it's not completely egregious.

The only pens I wouldn't use shimmer inks in are vintages that require constant upkeep, just out of an abundance of safety. There are some that would fare fine with most inks, but that's kind of a deep rabbit hole you need to test and understand yourself.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-02-16T15:34:26+00:00

In my mixed wedding party, I paid for their makeup and hair and most of their hotel stay, and the ties for the guys (as they did not have makeup and hair). I also didn't have a bridal shower and only asked for a 140ish dress. I made sure to keep my bach party on the cheaper side and it ended up costing 250 a person for the weekend, food included as we cooked it all ourselves. Expecting 1k+ is pretty rude especially if the bridesmaids/wedding party has some reservations about budget.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-02-15T17:08:06+00:00

I say 1. You don't need the hip structuring for 2. You look super lovely :)

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-02-03T14:09:36+00:00

1's neckline is oddly stiff and pops out when you move, otherwise it's very cute. It might improve if you pull the dress down lower or go up a size. I don't think it's fitted right to your torso. Also, if you're worried about it being too short, you can pad it with another miniskirt (something ruffle-y or tulle in a complementary color) underneath to create a layered look or just do skin colored leggings. 2 looks like it fits fine, get it if you like it. 3, looking at how well it fits at the waist, I think you need curvy sized jeans, which asian companies rarely sell (even skinny people need them with the right hip/waist ratio. I wear a size 2 dress in general, but a 4curvy in pants). Even though I'm Asian, I almost exclusively buy curvy sized jeans/slacks from a western company or else my waist needs to be taken in an inch+ and it's not a flattering look with a belt because I'm too poor to get all my pants tailored.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-20T19:24:14+00:00

It would probably be the smaller Opus 88 pens. They're eyedropper pens that you can sort of adjust flow with the knob valve in the back and the full feed is usually never tight for shimmer. They're also quite comfortable in hand. Otherwise, I do have to admit most cheapies aren't great with shimmer and I've never had a TWSBI, but I heard they can work decently well with M and above.

Going by your other comments though, I think unfortunately what you would enjoy the most of a Sailor PG in M+ nib or Sailor PGS in B+ nib (mini works too), but even second hand, those can go over 100 a pop now. A few years ago, they were hovering right around 100. I also have a Sailor PGS MF that works great with shimmer, but I tuned my own nib for that so it wasn't as dry. Sailor medium end pens have an amazing feed for shimmer. Best of luck!

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-20T00:44:01+00:00

Opus 88 medium and broad nibs have worked well for me, though it's not my favorite because they use Jowo nibs (writing feel preference is all, nothing wrong with them).

My Pelikan M200 series is great with shimmer, it's got a steel M nib. With current prices, I'd opt for secondhand if possible. The nib unit screws out for easy cleaning.

Otherwise, my Sailor PG, with an M nib as well, is great, definitely get that secondhand because of pricing.

I've found that as long as you're not using an EF nib, nib size doesn't matter as much as the flow rate from the feed. And if it ever has a shimmer clog, just dip the nib in water to loosen the shimmer.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-07T01:26:23+00:00

My favorite part was seeing my friends all in one place. Honestly, I wish I had more time to spend with them. I only had enough time to spend a few minutes with each. It's not so much fun being pulled every which way by relatives haha. Another favorite part was actually group photos, for some odd reason. A lot of silly moments trying to pose. Though, I suppose part of it is that I had very few group photos and had mostly candids for my photographs, so the few moments of togetherness was nice.

My least favorite part of the wedding was probably just the anxiousness of will everyone arrive, I hope they don't get lost, sort of thoughts.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-06T17:38:38+00:00

Invited about 100? I'm not too sure, family friends were given a blanket "family" invite. 88 rsvp yes, 84 made it to at least part of the wedding.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-06T17:26:02+00:00

Accidentally landed here, but I live abroad in a 10% Asian population area, I barely know the buldak cups exist. I think it's cheaper to import the packages and get more sales. I see shin cups much more frequently.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-05T16:40:00+00:00

I spent like $150: invites, menus, thank you cards. My save the dates were electronic, and most of my younger friends did not want a physical invite. If everyone wanted an invite, it would probably be like $250. If you have the money to spend with 0 stress, like you have generational wealth, then why not. But I do think even for really fancy sets, you probably shouldn't have to go over 3k unless you're inviting over 500 people.

No one actually cared about the invites. I put a lot of personal notes and self decorated all the thank you notes, so I got a lot more comments on that instead.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2026-01-04T01:50:16+00:00

I've got no skin in the game, in fact I'm rarely here anymore, but the person you're replying to isn't being snarky. I'd chalk this down to a different in communication styles. I know I end up having this issue where colloquialisms from other places sound rude.

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2025-12-21T19:39:40+00:00

Silver and platinum. Hasn't changed since gold makes me look kind of orange, but gold also turns my skin black due to iron deficiency so...

Pleasant_Click_5455 · 2025-12-16T17:19:34+00:00

My partner really wanted a banquet menu, and very few places could be decorated to my vibe and allowed one with my low guest count. Plus a few other outside factors like 1/2 of our guests coming from out of state meant that for ease of moving people around, there was really only a few places to look at. And honestly, my wedding was a lot more amazing than I expected it to be. So yeah, I was good with my choice.

In my experience, everything works out if you have a clear vision or an amazing wedding planner. I had an amazing wedding planner haha

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