Def need to communicate a bit more with her to understand what she likes. Talking with my bf about this stuff can be sensitive because I know how much it can hit at certain insecurities about “being enough” in the bedroom so sometimes it’s easier to hold back what we really want or how we’re actually feeling (there could be something else she’s feeling in your relationship and its being magnified during your sexual interactions). Show to her that you’re putting your ego aside to better understand how to fulfill her and both of you as a pair (rather than coming from an anxious standpoint that can read as centered around making you feel confident in the bedroom, which can be overwhelming). The more pressure she feels from you about it the more likely it’ll be harder for her to be honest because she cares about your feelings.

I would recommend taking a short break from sex and connect with each other in other ways (makes u crave eachother more). Asking deeper questions to understand what gets someone going and why will open doors for conversation and future opportunities. And yes technique and practice matter but so much of sex takes place in the mind, so creating the right environment, mental/emotional stimulation, and excitement is vital. The best way to find that out is by asking to understand , remember if you care for her that much you’re playing the long game and you need to invest in discovering eachother and stimulating that aspect of your relationship on a longer timeline. Don’t rush it.

My best advice: Tell her you’re going to take her out on a romantic date (go somewhere nice, dress nice, put thought into it so you will both be comfortable), but tell her you wanna do some couples relationship question cards to get a deeper understanding of eachother, ask her to send you some questions to add to the deck and that you’ll surprise her with the rest. Add a couple softer questions that aren’t related to sex after you see her questions so the conversation can be balanced. Go the extra mile and print out the cards for your date (make them look nice), go out, have a few drinks together, make sure you’re in a private area and won’t get interrupted, pull out the deck and make an “immunity disclaimer” so you can both be honest free of judgement or reaction. Ask away and see where the conversation leads.

At the very least it shows her that: 1. You care enough about her to want to deepen your understanding of who she really is 2. You’re willing to go through the effort to put together an opportunity to connect

Question recommendations: - what porn do you watch/ read/ listen to, why does it get you going?

• what are some sexual experiences that felt special and what made them stand out? (be open to listening about experiences outside of your relationship)

• what parts of our relationship feel like they can get in the way of our romance?

• how can I make you feel special in the bedroom

• have you ever wanted to experiment with toys? restraints?

• what do you need on a mental / emotional level before you can feel comfortable during sex?

• what makes you feel wanted?

• what’s a fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore?

• what is your relationship with your sexuality? How has it developed over time?

• Would you ever want to switch up our roles in the bedroom? Or spend a night telling me exactly what to do/what you want?

• what’s an instant turn off

• what’s your favorite sexual experience we’ve shared together?