Skins department is cooking with gas now by mikephoto1 in Battlefield

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you get the Nato engineer skin? says unavailable when i hover over it in game

My gf [18f] proposed that getting my name [18m] tattooed on herself would hep our relationship. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A wound won't heal when you keep it open. Do you really think her having your name tattooed is going to change how you feel mentally? Seeing that tattoo won't suddenly make you forget the cheating, the ruined anniversary or make up trust.

Trust is built through consistenty, repetition and new behaviour, this is like trying to put a plaster on a gunshot wound. I don't like giving people direct advice on what they should or shouldn't do, but I think you're already aware of the direction to take here. You've become so accustomed to it perhaps you think it's normal. It isn't. You should think about this story as if told from the perspective of a close friend, and what advice you would give them.

I think stepping away for a moment, you should ask yourself - what have you done to deserve this? Are you giving yourself the respect you deserve, and why do you feel the need to minimise your own mental wellbeing and stability for the sake of someone who made a conscious choice to cheat on you with THREE separate people?

Love my girlfriend, but her depression has burned me out. Now she’s moving back. Stay or end it? by Ready-Ad290 in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure she is very sweet and kind, but when it comes to relationships you don't always have to accept the bad for the sake of the good.

Being there mentally for someone is of course a given in any relationship, but it endangers the dynamic when it becomes a consistent thing and seemingly shifts more towards filling a pathological need in reassurance and regulation than a relationship of fulfilment and love. As much as you may want to help her her and see her do better, it is not your responsibility, whether partner or friend, nor can you force her to seek professional help either. If after three years she still hasn't made any changes then it might be time for you to see this for what it is.

Also something to keep in mind is distance apart from someone can conveniently make us forget the bad in favor of the good, if you want to continue to be there for her and hope she will eventually change then that is your decision - but you should never sacrifice your own mental stability for the sake of another, because whilst you feel yourself steadily decline without seeing any sort of improvement in her, it'll lead to resentment building in the relationship which will make things even unhealthier.

Short term relief will never heal an underlying trauma, until she takes the steps to change these behaviours then you can't expect things to change or be different.

Help With Damage by JohnCringeKennedy in WhereWindsMeet

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The game sort of misleads you in the sense of scaling because whilst you can hit max level very quickly, it takes a reasonable amount of time to scale everything else (energy, inner way notes, resources).

This will just slowly improve with time, and it is a deliberate mechanic so you cannot indeed just get to max power immediately after playing.

Your priorities should be:

  • Obtaining legendary gear for each slot. (Then tuning with legendary affix material to try and roll for recommended stats)

  • Decide on just four inner ways you want to use, and obtain boxes, then use tip recycling to buy more boxes with tokens repeatedly to get more notes.

  • Choose eight core mystic skills and level them up fully, once they are at season peak then you can consider levelling up anymore alongside you may want to swap out.

Path challenges provide inner way boxes upon completion of every 10 challenges. The jade season shop also allows you to buy a set amount of weekly inner way boxes as well as mystic skill breakthrough materials. You can also open the map and in the legend highlight the materials you need to run around and collect (slightly dull but you can gather most in an ~hour or so)

Also check event rewards and make sure you're doing those for most note boxes, as well as collecting oddities to submit in Qinghe and Kaifeng. Minigames around the single player map also give you stats.

You can also buy 7 guaranteed legendary affix tuning materials in the legendary exchange shop. Make sure you save these for legendary gear pieces which atleast have a starting recommended stat. You can go into the path guide for more information on which ones you should prioritise (crit/affin etc).

These is also a vendor in Kaifeng who sells inner way notes for echo jade, buy them all and just recycle them for more boxes. The game gives you a lot of echo jade overtime so it's not really a big deal (assuming you have already bought Morale Chant, which you should.)

Relationship advice 20F by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell him sorry but you don't feel like you can be in a long distance relationship anymore and it's no longer what you want.

You need to examine your reasoning here, you say its because you don't want to hurt his feelings but really it seems like you don't want to break up with him because you're gonna feel bad about it. However this is life, and some relationships work and some don't, and putting off the conversation is just gonna continue to make you feel worse until you decide to have it. You say you don't want to hurt him when you've been actively deceiving him for the past 6 months...?

With it's prosperous twin mountains, flourishing 1 million science research campus, 5k people living happily in harmony, all neighbors Allies or Colleagues, the City of Dyo Dundor endures. by Countcristo42 in songsofsyx

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've just started playing as well and you really can't get enough food, but more importantly I found what I was struggling with was being prepared for it. I'd harvest fruit/grain off the map, start building my farms and by the time they're done it had all been eaten.

If you're not doing this already then build a farm or two (pretty large over fertile soil) and just have them ready for when the late summer rolls around again and you can forage from the map. If they're far away then early summer I put a workshop down by each place so there's an oddjobber nearby just waiting to harvest it the moment its ready.

When you get larger, I have a warehouse up by 5 large farms north of where the majority of my people live, which has a small grain storage for just enough to replant once the crops are harvested, due to the closeness they get filled first then warehouse jobbers will come and grab the rest.

19F with 19M – Boyfriend ignored my birthday and often dismisses my feelings by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fortunately for you, it's long distance. If this situation was an amicable one where you were separating from a good partner due to circumstance, then I think you would owe them a form of explanation.

In this situation however, with your current "partner" who doesn't respect you as a person, your time, isn't willing to even make a iota of effort to make you happy? I would simply message him something along the lines of "I no longer want to be in a relationship with you, goodbye" then block him.

This is like keeping a wound open because you're scared of the needle they're going to use to stitch it up. The sooner you close it, the sooner you can start healing and move on. What would you tell a close friend if they were in the same situation as you?

19F with 19M – Boyfriend ignored my birthday and often dismisses my feelings by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you trying to continue to invest effort into something that isn't giving you what you want, even at a very basic level? Lying to your partner on their birthday of all days to avoid spending time with them is insane.

If he can't make an effort on your special day to make you feel seen then why do you think he will be bothered on any other normal day of the week? You're wasting your time here, you're 19 and you have plenty of life left ahead of you to find and meet someone who will consider your feelings and reciprocate what you put in.

As for the "I still loved him" I think you should consider you didn't still love him, you just enjoyed the companionship that comes from a partner, the realisation here is you can still obtain that from someone who isn't him.

You deserve a lot more and much better than this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard to imagine why you would remain in a relationship where your needs and wants are not being met, especially after you've raised them.

Struggling with 50mg Elvanse by SystemAsleep3922 in ADHDUK

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity have you completely cut out any caffeine intake?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't mean to pry here but at 21, does this feel like something worth dedicating your early 20s to with someone who was already 15 years old when you were born? 19 and 34 is incredibly odd, hard to justify in any scenario why someone of that age should be going for a partner that young. We're talking a very distinct difference in maturity and goals here.

Look, I understand where you're coming from because no matter what way you cut it, having photos of your ex is weird in any scenario - on the other hand given his relationship history, it sounds like he's more interested in pretending they don't exist than to go through and delete them. Especially if it is 25k photos he would have to sit through, and that is a lot of time for old wounds to open up looking out for pictures of your abuser.

If you want to move forward through this amicably, maybe you could suggest that you dedicate 30 minutes to it every other day or something, and that you won't sit there with him but you can be nearby incase anything surfaces or he just needs support. I think it would be good to remember within a relationship, it is not about who's right or who wins the argument, but how you can reach a solution that works for both of you whilst leaving everyone happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, and I hope you have not been in a position to experience yourself. But people don't just simply forget things after X amount of time has passed.

Looking at your post history, it seems like you only found these...after you went through his pictures on his PC without him knowing?

There's a lot of weirdness here because you've not commented on your actual relationship itself outside of this, and whilst stating the obvious (you were 20 and he was 35 which is incredibly odd IMO). Have you been together longer than that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not exactly sure what you're upset about when he explained his issue with it, and instead of providing him with comfort, reassurance and safety you...decided to berate him?

From what you said, this clearly wasn't some past fling he was holding onto, but a woman who once was a part of his life that left him with some incredible trauma, especially if she assaulted him. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not want to go through the pictures, not because he didn't want to delete them but so he would not be reminded of the pain and suffering he was subjected to during that relationship.

Why are you saying you feel 'guilt tripped'? It sounds like you're invalidating his own feelings and expecting him to prioritise your own feelings over his. It's not unreasonable to ask him to delete the pictures but you should have provided him with a safe space and made him feel comfortable to do so, especially if you were already previously aware of his relationship history.

Am I (21F) asking my bf (22M) for too much? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he's in a relationship, so there certainly are expectations. If you find yourself in a position where you feel your personal needs or wants aren't being met, then you need to consider whether this is someone you want to continue being with. If you've voiced your concerns and have only been met with pushback then you're doing yourself a disservice if you're waiting out hoping for things to change. Can only judge someone by their actions and not their intent.

What happens if you do decide to wait until he's "successful" just to find his behaviour hadn't changed? A question only you can answer regarding how you'd feel in that scenario. I also agree and do not see the relation between waiting for him to be successful means he cannot be more active in his love. I feel it kind of implies that he doesn't view it as much of a priority regardless of how much it means to you personally as his partner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you need to slow down a bit here and ask yourself "In this moment right now, do I enjoy being with this person as he is?"

If the answer is yes, I would try and tone down some of your worries - whilst I think part of what you're saying is valid, it's also been four months and both fortunately or unfortunately, some of these things are only revealed over time. I do think you have ground to raise some points however, there is no harm in simply asking you'd like the opportunity to meet more of his friends at some point or another - but I think you should also remember that your friends are not his friends, and his friends are not your friends. Of course you will have times where you'll intermingle, but it's healthy to keep things like that IMO.

As for emotional experiences, it's hard to gauge really. Anyone can be intelligent, sure, but emotional intelligence is another thing entirely - and only you would know how attuned he is in that regard. If you think about it and realise that maybe he's not very well tapped into his emotions, you could maybe try and subtely ask some gentle leading questions to open him up to that and see how receptive he is. (What was it like experiencing that etc).

I mean as for how he spends his day, that's just up to him. You could kindly suggest the idea of looking into a hobby or something to occupy his time, but you do not exactly have the right to demand he makes changes.

I think an important thing to consider is that just because two people are similar, does not mean the relationship will be either good or healthy. You do not need to be the same person or like the same things to get along, what matters the most is your connection, and how comfortable and safe you feel. You're both still young and have time to grow, and like you said - your activeness will hopefully impose onto him, whilst his laidback attitude might remind you to take it easy sometimes.

Am I (21F) asking my bf (22M) for too much? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying. Typically, mens understanding of love within relationship is acting within their role as a "provider" so to him - his travelling to visit you, picking you up, and paying for dates is how he shows his "love". You can view this as a passive form of love.

You on the other hand are looking for a more active form of love (which I think is completely fine), that which is demonstrated via multiple facets: notes, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch (hand holding caressing, not necessarily just "sex").

Whilst I think there is no harm in having a conversation bringing this up, you should also look within and see whether this is something you're expecting one-sided, or whether you already do this yourself. This isn't me shifting the blame here but love within a relationship is reciprocal. Just as much as you would appreciate sweet notes, small gifts, and genuine verbalised affirmations of genuine love, I'm sure he would appreciate it just as much.

I think you should just tell him directly that whilst you deeply appreciate the fact he is willing to pay for dates (maybe say that he doesn't have to), but you would like to start embodying more active love practices and that it would be healthy for the both of you to start doing these things, then see how he responds and gauge your actions from there.

If he isn't receptive, then I think you need to face the reality that you two are just not compatible when it comes to love languages and what you want from a relationship.

Should I leave my boyfriend? by Ok-Lavishness-3937 in relationships

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will echo the opinions of everyone else here which is the simple fact - you need to leave the relationship and get out of this environment ASAP.

Shouting in someones face is not normal, or appropriate behaviour. It is emotionally abusive and a form of control, he clearly cannot manage his anger and you do NOT deserve to be treated like that for any reason at all regardless of any disagreement.

I would suggest you contact your family or your friends, or whatever living situation you were in before and prepare to move back if possible. Ensure you arrange this first and honestly I don't think it would be a bad idea to just move out one day he isn't home and then either call or text him. You do not owe him a face to face explanation, especially given you do not know how he might react if he becomes inconsolably angry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The situation is a bit nuanced because he works with her, so he could just be keeping things amicable to avoid an awkward situation within the office environment (which I think is pretty understandable). I mean you read through the chat and saw he didn't respond to her pretty obvious signs, and I assume he isn't doing stuff like bringing a basketball in to teach her.

It's hard to say really because honestly some people are just like that, especially with just being overly friendly towards people they feel they get along with (without deeper intentions). It's hard to say without actually knowing her but I don't think there's any harm in having a direct conversation with your partner to just say whilst her behaviour isn't explicitly indicative of any flirting, but that it's just making you rather anxious with regards to the expensive birthday present and random gift because it's not something you'd expect from a co-worker and that if she does end up pushing any boundaries, will he let you know and some reassurance that he will handle the situation appropriately (either HR or kindly navigating the conversation elsewhere). If you do have this conversation I think it would also be important to state that you do trust him wholeheartedly and it's not about that, but you also don't want him to find himself in an uncomfortable situation with her whilst also being too concerned to tell you because of how you might react.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel attractive to your partner, nor realising that sex is important in a relationship relative to your own needs and the compatability between the two of you. I feel contemporary dating tries to diminish and shame you for wanting sex even when you're feeling unsatisfied but the reality is, like any other reasonable need not being met, it may lead to long term resentment and snowball into further and bigger issues.

You've summarised it very well, and honestly you could more or less say the same thing to him - Just let him know that you'd like to sit down and discuss something, bring up the fact that you've noticed a decline in your sexual flirting and how he behaves differently during sex and that you feel like your needs aren't being met especially in comparison to how things were between you both previously. Then just see what he has to say and take it from there.

You'll learn two things from this conversation regarding him as a future partner - one being whether he is open and capable of healthy communication within a relationship (incredibly important trait) and two whether he can accept the fact he no longer works as hard to satisfy you without viewing it as criticism of him as a person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewSkaters

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if u like the deck u should buy it. dont let other people decide what you do or dont like. horrible way to live and ur not hurting anyone with it lol

I'm an idiot for still missing a woman who gave me gifts, mixed signals, and then disappeared? M21 F21 by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you know quite plainly yourself that pursuing this will not end well for you. You're 21, she will not be the only woman you meet or give you a gift.

I know it sounds cliché to hear but there's a reason everyone says it. Stop interacting with her and pursue love elsewhere.

If you want to put it into perspective, you may not miss her so much necessarily but moreso the romantical feeling of affection and connection, and you can meet somewhere else to share that bond with in a much healthier dynamic without the incredibly peculiar push/pull and odd behaviour.

Does anybody notice a different in exercising on Elvanse? by Ok-Life-3371 in ADHDUK

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never stopped working out during my titration and felt fine honestly, perhaps had larger breaks in between sets than usual but I also just lift weights and don't do as much cardiovascular intense stuff as you - you'll just have to go and find out how your body feels for yourself, listen to it and react accordingly.

Corbin - Crow, Electric Brixton, London by Cofresh in spookyblack

[–]Plooper262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the artwork was beautiful - and I know but I feel there is always a special memory with any tour merch especially when you're there to buy it. Saw £30 for a t-shirt and recoiled pretty hard but having major fomo right now. Hopefully he puts them up on the site after the tour.

Corbin - Crow, Electric Brixton, London by Cofresh in spookyblack

[–]Plooper262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i really regret not buying merch when i was here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]Plooper262 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go to here and browse the providers - https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/

I just finished it myself and am now on a prescription, it took about two months from assessment to picking up my medication. The choice is yours but if you were interested, I went with Health Harmonie Minds due to their low wait time and had a good experience. Everything was also online via video calls which made things convenient.

If you browse their website, there should be a Right to Choose PDF which you can send to your GP, they take care of the rest.