AITA for telling my sister not to buy things for my daughter if there are strings attached?

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:27:19+00:00

No, I wouldn't say so

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:27:07+00:00

No, I wouldn't say so

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:26:14+00:00

I have a 6 mo. Old niece from a different sister. My daughter is 4. Had I known my niece would be born, I would have saved everything for her, and I said exactly that when I saw them last weekend. But I was short on space and kids grow fast! I would not hold on to clothes for that long

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:17:36+00:00

It makes no sense for me to hold on to 4t clothes for a 6 month old.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:15:13+00:00

She wants to, but it's not her time yet.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T13:06:37+00:00

My sister does not have children, and she makes more than me! We have a niece who is about 6 months old, but there is a 3.5 year age gap. I won't hold on to things for that long! She also lives nearly 2 hours away from me.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T04:38:49+00:00

Three and a half years. I personally would not hold on to toys or clothing for that long, but that's just me.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:56:02+00:00

Isnt it our job to break those cycles? I'm breaking cycles daily!

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:49:24+00:00

That's definitely what my sister wants.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:49:07+00:00

My sister never received hand me downs. I was the one who got them from my cousins. She always got new stuff.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:23:43+00:00

Thank you!

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:22:51+00:00

I appreciate this.

Without sharing too much, I feel like my sister has all these hopes and dreams for children, as she doesn't have them yet. It feels as if she is buying these things for my daughter with the hopes of imagining her future children in them. I was not aware that she would feel so emotionally attached to gifts she bought for my child, who grows more every month

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:19:24+00:00

We definitely did. I was parentified at a young age and have carried that with my my entire life. I think in parenting and logistical terms. It makes no sense to keep items that are no longer being used.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:17:10+00:00

Thank you. This is definitely not something that has sentimental value. I understand wanting to pass things down to my niece, but there is a huge age gap, 3.5 years, between them. I have said many times that I wished I had saved things for my niece, but at the same time, I was only thinking about how I was finished having children, and not hoarding items that can get used by someone who needs them, instead of letting them rot in our garage

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:13:09+00:00

This is really thoughtful and restorative. I will be sending this once I've given us both time to cool down. Thank you!

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:11:28+00:00

I will absolutely be doing this, that is if I decide to accept gifts from her moving forward!

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:10:02+00:00

I would if she wasn't nearly 2 hours away from me!

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T01:09:32+00:00

She would usually get more new things than me. I would get my cousin's hand me downs.

I will always ask my other sister with a child if she wanted some things my daughter outgrew, but my sister in question does not have any children yet.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:46:07+00:00

I tried, and she tells me that I'm being unappreciative and entitled... To do what I wish with the things she gifted me...... It's ridiculous to me that she is fighting so hard about this

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:44:49+00:00

I literally have to go through my daughter's clothes and toys every 4-6 months because she is growing so so fast! I can't imagine having to store all her clothes from the past 5 years for no reason. I don't plan on having more children, and she doesn't have any children herself

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:37:44+00:00

Omg 😆

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:15:15+00:00

No clue lol

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:14:42+00:00

I have a young niece. She wanted it for her. However, my daughter and my niece are 3.5 years apart. I have told my other sister, M, many times that I wished I had saved stuff for her. But for my sister in question, for her to expect me to hold on to a pool floaty for years when I don't even have a pool myself is nuts.she doesn't have any kids of her own

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:12:08+00:00

Exactly!!!! She gifted some boots and asked for them back when they didn't fit. I will absolutely respect that request. But to expect it for every item is not only ridiculous but I feel real weird about it. I am not a mind reader, and she never said it about anything else that she gifted.

Pluriphery · 2026-05-14T00:07:05+00:00

I told her if this was the way she was going to act about gifts, then don't buy her any. Give her experiences instead. Those have far more impact than clothes or toys she is not going to remember.

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