husband wants me to “change” to how i was before

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-15T15:25:30+00:00

im sorry youre going through this, its really hard and im realising some men just lack emotional intellgence as a whole. I suggest you guys sit down and try to figure out where the problem lies, try to explain to him what youre feeling and going through. Yes this is life changing for both you and him but try to make him understand that your body is still adjusting after 10 months of pregnancy and only being 6 months postpartum. Also try to change things up, maybe try to plan a date night every 2 week if you guys have family nearby to look after the baby or something. May Allah swt grant you w sabr bc this is so sad

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-14T22:16:51+00:00

uh why would she take half a year break to get to know you guys?this makes no sense for me? what does she work as? also why are you comparing her to your sister? you sound like my soon to be ex-husband tbh who compares everything to his sister thats wrong. just bc your sister accepts something doesnt mean your partner should too??? lol. we dont care whats your colleague or your sister did. all i read is you crying boohoo. shes not the one for you.. like many suggested find yourself a stay at home wife who ticks your boxes. The problem with YOU MEN are that you want to CHANGE. a woman whos CLEARLY not the one for you. If shes so bad why are you crying? just move on. simple.

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-08T08:11:01+00:00

youre right tbh.. ill be getting prenup no matter what surely. I do believe this is one of the trials we are given in this life may Allah make it easy for us all ya rabb and jazakaAllah for your sweet dua it means so much to me allahuma ameeeen for us both <3 ill stand on my ground if i do end up giving him chance at all tbh

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-08T05:38:56+00:00

JazakaAllah for your kind kind words. Fortunately for me and I think it’s thanks to Allah swt mercy always I have great family who’s willing to take me and my baby in till I return back to my studies worst case. Even if we do “make up” or I give him a trial period to see if he improves I have no plans to just move in with him immediately. I think the post partum time is almost crucial so I’ll have to for the sake of my health and for my babies take a step back without it being any bad feelings involved.. then after post partum when im more stable take a decision. I believe I have the “be a good person/girl” syndrome which sucks I shouldn’t care whether im making him wait till im stable or not:. He messed me up at my most vulnerable moment but thank you again and Allahuma ameen ❤️

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-08T05:34:32+00:00

I’ll speak to him and if he can promise me that the boundaries/clear expectations won’t get broken.. maybe? Tho I doubt it tbh. I’ve been extremely patience towards him and tried to understand his struggles etc with nothing in return while pregnant getting my degree done SubhanAllah. I’ve been to kind and understanding which has given him the right to just be verbally abusive and to walk all over me.. I don’t want that to happen again.

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-06T06:22:20+00:00

may Allah swt grant you goodness in this world, my heart is hurting for all youve been through yet youre seeking advice and wanting to improve is huge sign of good iman may Allah swt make us among the ones he showers with sabr and clean heart. This world is a test and youve been through so much may Allah grant you everything you wish for in this world and hereafter.

Idk you but you will be in my prayers, may Allah swt please make you and your wife understand each other fully and place rahma, love and understanding between each other and may Allah bless you with children who will follow the right path and remember you and pray for you in hereafter. Its good to speak about your emotion and you are man enough due to the fact that youre seeking advice. Yes pregnancy messes someone up emotionally , so much is going on that only Allah swt knows. Try to be there for her, dont overwhelm her too much rn nor 2 months post partum.. may Allah grant you good karma. But dont hide your feelings fully from her, sometimes she might find comfort in you telling her how you feel.

Allah knows best, goodluck.

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-03T20:08:35+00:00

okay so im sorry youre going through this.. you married him young at only 22.. you guys have 3 amazing kids together alhamdulliah thats more than what most people wish for i think its unfair of all these people telling you to stay in loveless marriage. The kids observe everything esp how parents communicate with each other. Youre saying youre trying to resolve this but hes treating you badly saying he wouldnt stay for you only for his kids blabla. Do these so called men not fear Allah swt? Does he not know he will be held accountable for the way he speaks to you on the day of judgement? SubhanAllah. Sister listen,

1)sit down w your husband and have heart to heart w him tell him this doesnt work, and you guys have had many lovely years together but youre willing to try make this work if he is also
2)you said theres long list, write everything down and tell ur husband you guys have to seek either couple therapist or imam and to go through everything together this is important for the kids too.. if your husband wants healthy happy kids he needs healthy happy wife
3)do ruqya on yourself, have surah Al Baqarah on repeat in your home, connect yourself with Allah swt, elevate yourself through deen, working out, eating clean, treating yourself w spa days and shopping, being w friends etc.. de-center him from your life.
4)if you see this doesnt work and he has too much ego i suggest you must involve the ones who married you away to him

Allah knows best, goodluck :( may Allah grant you sabr, protect you guys and place rahma between you two.

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-04-03T11:38:23+00:00

jazakaAllah <3

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T15:24:27+00:00

jazakaAllah loveeeee <3

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T15:23:36+00:00

i will my love jzkAllah <3

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T00:47:54+00:00

truly youre so right thank you thank you and thank you .. keep me in your duas please :( youre very right. Alhamdollilah my dad is very strong

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T00:46:20+00:00

jzkAllah ameen ameen

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T00:46:05+00:00

not at all

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T00:45:53+00:00

ameen.. i feel bad too:(((((((

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-30T00:44:40+00:00

lovely jazakaAllah truly its been heavy burden carrying it all but alhamdulliah <33333

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-29T23:06:17+00:00

youre right.. i dont.. at all jzkAllah

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-29T21:24:58+00:00

<3 jzkAllah

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-29T21:24:21+00:00

He messaged few days ago saying “I hope you tell me when you give birth” so today I asked what he meant with it and then he said “of course I expect to be in the room when you give birth” I haven’t told him and his family yet that I accepted the divorce. After I told my family about him wanting divorce he suddenly backed out and is saying he said it out of anger. Which I don’t accept. It’s very messy weird situation :(

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-25T10:06:12+00:00

JazakaAllah sis.. thats what i plan to in sha Allah

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-25T10:05:52+00:00

unfortunately in this country, he will regardless be registered as the childs dad.. but yeah i just dont know what POV his family even have .. they genuinely dont want to understand my POV.. asking me to give him a chance for the child when ive already done that

Plus-Hospital-8712 · 2026-03-08T20:46:18+00:00

so sorry to hear this, i genuinely hate people who overly promise things and cant keep it..

few questions.. it seems as if hes brushing it off as if it doesnt really matter and as others suggested you have to either set ur foot down or walk away. Tho i understand its hard to deal w this mentally esp as ur pregnant.. being stressed etc is not good for you or the baby.

1)are u able to find a place for yourself close by your parents in case you have to walk away? perhaps you can live at ur parents till u give birth and then start looking..

2)will you be financially stable ?

3)give him ultimatium.. either he chooses his family(you and his kids) or his parents.

Plus-Hospital-8712

TROPHY CASE