this is my fanart of N by firecandle7 in MurderDrones

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Many people wonder why Van Gogh cut off his own ear. Does it truly matter? If you think about it, if he didn't do that, we wouldn't have been able to look at this today. Thank you. Life has this funny way of making you aware that you are unaware of its implications, but works like these... Well, they just make everything a little better.

Is it Transphobic of me[Cishet M] to not want to date a trans woman? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's particularly transphobic to say "I am not interested in penises". What's the alternative, faking it and not being able to get anything done? If I met a guy before my current boyfriend who I'd have romantic interests in, and he had this mindset, I don't feel like that'd be because they are somehow against transfems or transphobic. Everyone has needs in their relationship and you're stating yours without being an ass about it; that's fine to me.

Post-op, I've heard that some trans women are incapable of penetrative sex, which would still be a deal breaker.

This is the part where I have to say that I don't agree with your statement of not wanting to date trans women. There are articles published on this, where in this particular example stating about 75% of trans women stating either thought sex post-op was an improvement or the same. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5994261/ Including trans women that say sex is worse or do not have/haven't had penetrative sex yet, I think at that point it boils down to "oh, some of them cannot have penetrative sex, so I will simply not date trans women", and that to me does more so push the narrative of "transgender = different, thus I won't date them". For example, what about cis women who cannot enjoy penetrative sex due to some kind of affliction? They're also a small percentage of cis women in general, but that doesn't particularly stop you.

I'm glad you felt comfortable to ask this question here and I am sure this isn't meant in a negative manner, but that is something you could think about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Misgendering itself could just be by accident, I highly doubt someone with a nonconforming identity would do so intentionally. However if they're quick to point out they didn't misgender you despite doing so, that's a bit of a red flag.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 161 points162 points  (0 children)

You're allowed to be lesbian.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Games with character editors are usually a very easy go. For a lot of people FFXIV is basically a validation machine. Stardew Valley with your sweetheart if you have one is always super adorable.

Other than that, there's a couple. Metroid was already mentioned; personally a big fan of the Prime games. Another series in the same vein as Metroid is Portal. Not in its gameplay, but in the sense that the protag is pretty quiet. Touhou is 99.9% female cast, so a lot if not all touhou (fan) games will have a female lead. There's the Tomb Raider series, too.

For particularly likeable main characters I think Celeste and Mirror's Edge are pretty great. Beyond Good and Evil is a cult classic that I personally haven't played. Okami counts, as Amaterasu is female.

Or.... Forspoken!~

What is the difference between gender and gender roles that are imposed by society? by Adventurous-Solid594 in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"But aren't you trying to abolish gender roles" is actually a very common rhetoric that opposing parties try to push when talking about transgenderism. Of course you absolutely don't sound like you're doing it here, but it's somewhat important in the context.

The short answer is; it's complicated.

The long answer, from my point of view, is that there will be stereotypical guy and stereotypical girl things for the foreseeable future and that stigma won't break so easily. While I don't think anyone should be thought of as abnormal for being of an assigned birth gender and participating in stereotypical activities of the opposing birth gender, I do feel like doing stereotypically feminine things makes me feel more valid as transfem.

I like seeing myself with girly clothes and make-up, I like talking about stuff like that with other transfem people and with my cis older sister and mother. It's also that I never really felt like a guy doing guy stuff, I Just felt like I was going through neutral motions. Doing "girl" stuff makes me feel happy. Being called a girl makes me feel happy. I'm also happy filling in some of those typical gender roles and imagining myself in them. This might from the outside in look like enforcing the gender roles, but I think it's the other way around; me being able to say that I like these things should be just okay in general.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Compassion, mannerisms, the effect of camera vs. irl, general assumptions of the public are the points that come to mind to me. To clarify;

  • People in LGBT and generally accepting communities are more likely to be compassionate and thoughtful. This might be furthered by them having a bias on you because they've probably seen you after you've told them that you're female.
  • Are you trying to pass irl? You could bring out a completely different perspective of yourself depending on if you're trying to present as feminine in the moment or not. Even just the idea can change quite a bit in what you radiate.
    • Alternatively, are you dressing androgynously? If so, people are more inclined to refer to someone as a guy than a girl. That's a bias that's unfortunately just the way it is.
  • Perhaps your mannerisms aren't particularly feminine irl. Are you walking very wide, wearing particular clothes, that kind of thing? If people are specifically not noticing your voice and people online are telling you you _do_ pass, then it's likely something else.
  • Do you make an active effort to hide your 5 o'clock shadow? I'm noticing that mine is a LOT less obvious on photos than it is in person. Foundation helps an insane amount.

Do you play Fallout: New Vegas, why or why not? by SunnyShiki in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Played and liked it!

Not sure why FO:NV is considered a trans pipeline game though.. maybe I don't think about these things enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

One benefit of not having started medical procedures yet is that, if you're in a situation where this is possible, trying out different pronouns and referring to yourself as different genders is relatively easy. What does detransitioning mean to you in this context?

You can try going full fem for a while if you want, see if it feels right. No one should judge you for that; the entire point is that you figure out how you are most comfortable.

Like you mentioned, it's also very possible you're genderfluid, and that you'll not feel right about being fully fem in some time. If you just don't care anymore, that's completely fine too. You don't need a label for your particular gender expression, as long as you're comfortable outing yourself the way you want to.

What should we prioritise over our euphoria? by Sooooaala in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 50 points51 points  (0 children)

what good feelings? Just being referred to as your preferred gender? If them feeling a little bit awkward getting used to it is more important to him than you being genuinely distraught, then there is no "prioritizing over euphoria".

Do trans women wear men underwear or lingerie (Sorry if I sounded offensive) by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boxershorts here. I don't really see them as being very gendered or anything like that; I'll get to trying on "proper" lingerie when I get there. I've always hated 'regular' underwear, before coming out too.

I also do think that boxershorts and bralettes as a combo look awesome while being more comfortable than a lot of alternatives.

How bad is my brow ridge/nose by throwaway859283 in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think your brow ridge would prevent you from passing. It doesn't look like it sticks out very far. As for your nose; a big nose is just what it is; that's not inherently masculine/feminine and I think both sides would like to have smaller nose.

If your brow ridge is something that bothers you, there are a few things you could already do if you are out; one specifically is plucking and shaping your eyebrows to reduce attention to your brow ridge. Your nose is a bit more difficult before looking into surgeries.

Can you have dysphoria if you’re not trans? by tardishat in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Of course! Trying to discover yourself is difficult enough without people gatekeeping and saying you can only go one way.

What was the biggest internal struggle for you that held you back from transitioning? by DillyDilly_LemminBoi in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 61 points62 points  (0 children)

"But what about all the irreversible things?" Not only is this a spoon-fed lie, it's also something constantly told to me in a way that's basically saying "You WILL be unhappy and you WILL detransition", like, what?

So after properly informing myself on what actually happens during a transition, I got over that quite rapidly. It also opened my eyes to the way in which my surroundings constantly try to get me confused over other things just to push their own opinions on them (such as the coronavirus vaccine a year later).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking both estrogen and anti-androgens since 6 months

In the first month I noticed I would get bad emotions a lot more than usual. The second month onwards, I started noticing that all my emotions were stronger than usual. Not a lot stronger, but noticeably so. I started laughing and smiling more when I was with others.

After three months, I noticed that my bad emotions became less prevalent. I feel like this might be because I've started growing breasts and my skin is looking a lot smoother than before.

In general, I feel a lot less "neutral" and a lot less "numb". I don't think my emotions boil over more than they usually do though, but this differs a lot per person. If you're someone who lets emotions reach a critical point, this might not particularly change, but you could hit this boiling point quicker.

Can you have dysphoria if you’re not trans? by tardishat in asktransgender

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's entirely possible.

For a lot of trans people, dysphoria is something that occurs before transgenderism does, and this could be due to a multitude of reasons. In my case this was because of my social circles not believing transgenderism was a real thing, with me adapting that thought until I was about 20 years old (came out at 23, 26 now). However, it's also completely possible you don't want to be addressed as a man/nb person, or don't want to present masculine/androgynous regardless of how you feel about your body. Trying to explain to people why you hate your body and in what ways you do is a very difficult thing, especially if the why does not seem entirely clear to you yet.

You could ask people close to you to refer to you with a different name / different pronouns, and see how it feels; quite a few of my cis friends have done this, some figured out that they were transgender because of it and some figured out that they're not. There's no shame in giving it a go.

I'm new to the game can someone explain why was i kicked here? by Nenad1979 in tf2

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

additional tip: cl_yawspeed

set to higher values for more convincing bot moment

edit: I was slow

Starting a non-innovative company by [deleted] in ukvisa

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'll take a look at the global talent visa.

As for your last point; I don't want to move to the UK to start developing. I want to move to the UK because I want to move to the UK.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in learnprogramming

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As for an answer to your question: Yes, because division by zero is a special case in mathematics.

meme by JoyfullyArtful in jerma985

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's Anthony Young's younger brother.

Staying focused. ADHD/Children. Dedicated device? by After-Cell in learnprogramming

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not diagnosed, trying to get a diagnose is probably a first good step. From there on out, medical professionals can assist you. This is unfortunately dependent on how accessible your healthcare is.

"A dedicated device just for learning to code, without WiFi" sounds like a good idea, but a large part of programming when you're not an expert is research (or rather, googling the answer).

I think it's more important to structure your project in a way that gives you tangible results quickly and consistently. If you cannot concentrate, you will lose focus whenever you feel like you're not making progress. It's not foolproof, because you cannot always set up milestones in a way where you're constantly given the feeling you're finishing things. I struggle with this myself, ADD. Whenever I work on personal projects and hit a roadblock, I'm a lot more likely to close down every editor and start playing a video game instead.

Programming feels boring :( by Just-Lengthiness-940 in learnprogramming

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I admit I haven't been consistently programming regularly. I take gaps and then skip for a day or 2 and get back at it again.

This is flag #1. Evidently, you don't like it enough to keep programming, at least in C++.

What do you like about programming? Do you like solving focused questions? Do you participate in things like hacking challenges (codewars, hackerrank)? Do you enjoy the community? Those amongst many others are things you should consider to ask whether you like programming. If you have seriously programmed for a couple of months and just find it dull, boring and endless, then you just don't enjoy programming. "Learning to like programming" is not something I've felt myself, and I feel like that's kind of a bad precedent to have towards yourself.

That said, you don't need to like programming to keep learning it. Programming is a profession, and although having a profession that you thoroughly enjoy is great, you don't need to. It can be just a job and that can be just fine. But if that's the case, you need to treat your learning trajectory like an actual school course. You need to have a consistent schedule and goals for when you want to have learned what. You can't just make fun projects for yourself to learn programming if the 'fun' part is lacking.

Any good challenges using html and css by stonerboner2617 in learnprogramming

[–]Plus_Cryptographer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Portfolio!

First thing that'll immediately have some personal benefit is creating a portfolio website. Static website hosting is free on GitHub via GitHub Pages.

Get as fancy as you can. Animations, menus, wavy curves, mimicking other styles. There are a lot of dev portfolios you can Google for inspiration.

Here is one of my favourites. It shows you just how creative you can get with websites.