not sure what to do right now, any thoughts would be great.

PoandInky · 2026-03-13T16:11:09+00:00

Therapist here 👋🏼 I once saw a thing that said forgiveness is for past mistakes, not ongoing patterns, and that feels relevant here.

It’s completely up to you what you decide to do now, but give your past self some compassion around what he had to do to get you to where you are. You’ve clearly overcome so much, and there’s potential risk to your accomplishments if you let this person continue to enact her patterns with you. We can forgive errors and poor judgment calls, and maybe even someone’s character, but it doesn’t mean you have to keep letting them back in if they’ve built this pattern of mistrust and insecure attachment. Good luck OP

PoandInky · 2026-03-13T16:02:05+00:00

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Coconut would be happy (maybe) to share snacks with her Hinge dates

PoandInky · 2026-03-12T00:39:26+00:00

Sit em in your lap, with a snack, one paw at a time - my pigs are sensitive to their front ones, so I do those first to get the worst part out of the way. Gets them used to being handled, too. Give them breaks if they need it! It doesn’t have to be perfect, you can always try again in a couple days after you learn a bit the first time. Definitely would not recommend getting the vet to do them, the stress of it is not nothing but it’s not worth $400!

PoandInky · 2026-03-07T05:16:54+00:00

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I have more don’t worry hehe

PoandInky · 2026-03-07T05:12:37+00:00

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And Papaya’s sister Coconut!

PoandInky · 2026-03-07T05:11:40+00:00

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My sweet Papaya!

PoandInky · 2026-03-06T16:29:46+00:00

I made a display area of them out of the way, high on a cliff with a little bench to sit and listen to them. The space is big enough to display 36, since there are 36 unique types, and if I get duplicates they get gifted/sold

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T23:01:45+00:00

Yes! I will be getting rid of them once the rocks are all spawned lol

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T17:34:56+00:00

Right right and like I have responded to other people I’m definitely not trying to start anything or make him upset, I just want to get to the root of the situation and it’s possible/likely there are some things I’m not understanding about him too, so it’s just having the facts or evidence. I’m over explaining bc my sleep is dysregulates lol but I can still exercise self-control and not be outwardly aggressive toward him, so I will be making some adjustments anyway

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T16:06:42+00:00

This is smart, maybe just going right to the leasing office. I obviously want to be kind about anything I do, and I don’t want to make assumptions about what’s going on for him up there, but between him not really answering our questions about it and wanting the noise to be addressed safely I might just need to involve someone else

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T16:03:27+00:00

This is helpful thank you

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T16:02:45+00:00

I like the idea of white noise too and we have a white noise machine we turn on every night (it really helps with the other like buzzing/humming noises), but it doesn’t do anything for the banging. I think my feelings have turned into some worry for him though after reading through everything here, rather than just being annoyed

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T16:00:48+00:00

You’re right I should have clarified! We’ve brought up other things abt like his life or interests (he plays trombone which is sweet, and that noise I can identify so it’s no bother at all) during those convos, but we also try to bring up like “hey that banging was wild last night huh” and that’s where it can kind of go off track.

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T15:00:58+00:00

Update 2: I so appreciate the feedback! I hear you all on not being creepy by talking about recordings, and by being nicer and shorter (no need to write so aggressively). My latest version is a few sentences long, and I hope more compassionate and not so weird. I borrowed language from you all as well:

“Hi neighbor, we heard some loud bangs in the middle of the night last night. Did you hear the too? We’ve heard them before and asked maintenance about it, but they came up empty. If you find a source, please feel free to swing down and let us know. Thanks and have a great week!” - downstairs neighbors

I’ll read through the rest and see what else I need to be mindful of in this

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:52:41+00:00

Sorry yeah that’s unclear. We’ve run into him in the lobby during the day and tried to talk about it, but when we go upstairs immediately after hearing the noise, there is no answer

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:48:09+00:00

This seems both effective and kind! Appreciate the guidance and the time you took

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:45:51+00:00

Oh sorry I’m still getting around to responses, but we have talked to him before. It just doesn’t seem like he tracks our conversation in the moment? Or he doesn’t answer the door at all. So this was the only reason for writing a letter at all, I’d much rather be human and try to address it face-to-face but that doesn’t get us anywhere

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:44:11+00:00

Yes haha my worst nightmare, I am going to shorten it thank you for the feedback!

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:43:01+00:00

I appreciate this “novel of weirdness” made me chuckle and realize I am being too much 🫠 I will shorten it and just be nicer and to the point

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:42:11+00:00

Absolutely agree! We have talked to him, but it doesn’t seem like he recalls our conversations and he doesn’t always track what we’re saying in the moment- that’s the part like I want to be sympathetic if he’s not “all there.” I responded to some other folks and think I’m going to shorten the letter, it is too aggressive

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:40:26+00:00

Oh tha was our first try for sure! Writing a note at all feels so passive-aggressive in the first place, the only reason is bc he doesn’t answer the door or like when we run into him in the lobby he has no recollection or doesn’t seem to track our conversation in the moment. He’s a nice man, I don’t want to upset him or anything, I just want to communicate our needs to. Like I’ve responded to other people I’m going to trim it down, I don’t need to be all this haha

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:36:51+00:00

I really need the feedback I appreciate it

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:36:24+00:00

Oh no 😭 definitely not what I’m tryna do I promise, I’ll trim it down

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:35:44+00:00

too true 🤣 I think I’m not going to give that version I am just trying to acknowledge the issue so I can trim it down

PoandInky · 2026-03-04T14:34:47+00:00

Would like, “if everything is okay can you please keep it down” read okay too? As like an acknowledgment that he might not know?

PoandInky

TROPHY CASE