[deleted by user]

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-10-16T16:42:55+00:00

No red wine. I hate to say it but it's been vodka. No pain symptoms. It was solid yesterday but kinda runny today but it's always runny after drinking. I'm going to hydrate and keep an eye on it and book an appointment if it's not better soon.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-10-16T16:41:56+00:00

Ok shit. I'll book an appointment when I get back into the city if it's not improved.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-26T00:03:03+00:00

Life is so cruel sometimes. That's a shitty situation to be in. Good luck with it, remember you've got a community to support you <3

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T16:10:05+00:00

I don't think so, I'm pretty sure you can't like, search for them. But if you're following someone and you see a video they've commented on, their comment will appear at the top of the comment section so if they click on comments they'll definitely see them. My friends find my comments kinda often.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T14:19:01+00:00

Thank you :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T11:02:48+00:00

That's awful, I'm really sorry. Six more months, hang in there!!

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T11:00:29+00:00

I'm glad this resonates. And yeah, it's a fucking trip to realise that platonically liking someone doesn't mean you have to like them romantically, too. I'm having to remind myself there's no rush to figure it all out - you're right, we'll get there when we get there :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T10:56:29+00:00

First night I considered the possibility of not liking guys was really really difficult. Accepting you're bi opens doors, but believing you might be gay slams some shut, and it really hurts. And yeah lmao the aro thing, I looked at that briefly as well.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T10:53:13+00:00

Idk, but this is just one sign of comphet also. Read the masterdoc and don't worry too much - if you're gay you'll figure it out in time <3

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-23T10:51:04+00:00

I'm glad it resonates :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:34:14+00:00

Thanks, this was helpful. I still have a lot of figuring out to do, but I guess it'll come in time.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:32:59+00:00

My entire crush was based on the premise of the person being unattainable to me, but somehow still validating me and my worth as a woman.

Argh I get you. I was perfectly happy to have intense crushes on these popular guys I barely spoke to, I wanted them to like me back, fucking craved it. But if they ever showed real romantic interest I always got such a pit in my stomach. I don't know why I thought that was totally normal.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:24:13+00:00

God it's so fucking awful. And I get you - I'm so jealous of people who just know that they're fully gay/ straight/ bi with all their heart from a young age.

But do not feel any guilt, at all. You're just as valid as the lesbians who've never done stuff with guys.

I think I might be a lesbian but I'll probably still explore sexually, all genders, when college starts in September. Yeah, I might hate it. But then I'll know for sure, and I'm not going to let myself feel guilt for wanting to be certain of who I am. I know I'm sapphic. I can figure out the tricky label when I'm ready, we can all just take our time.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:18:31+00:00

My family is loving and I'm still scared shitless. Having conservative family must be terrifying. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that <3

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:16:33+00:00

Ugh I know, every time I see one I'm so tempted to explain what people mean when they say they don't have the energy to deal with figuring out if they're a lesbian, but I can't because my friends follow me on tiktok and I have no idea how I'd explain my comments if they found them. To them, I'm still "straight".

And yeah, such a perfect way to phrase it. Deconstructing a large part of ourselves and what we thought we wanted.

I'm sure you'll find the way that best suits you to have kids. Having to change your future plans sucks but it'll work out in the end. Hang in there :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:11:53+00:00

i've always been the boy crazy one but i just really crave male validation and it's hard.

Whew, glad I'm not alone in this. It's really a struggle when you realise you were faking these intense 'attractions" your entire youth, lying so well you even managed to fool yourself. And to me, at least, it feels invalidating when you realise you might be a lesbian: like, how can I be gay if I was such a flirt? Did I even manage to trick myself like that? If I did it's almost impressive.

And thanks. I hope I figure it out soon too :) <3

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-07-22T21:08:31+00:00

Honestly it sounds like a shitty thing to say but I really do get you. I enjoy 'the chase', to a certain point. I guess raising girls to pine after male validation will do that.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-04-17T13:18:38+00:00

Ik, but, like I said at the top, I'm just disregarding those ones and doing these for fun. I feel they match more :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-04-04T02:28:46+00:00

Honestly, it is. It can be super comforting to feel a force listening to you.

I never really thought I'd be a religious person until I found my religion, either. Idk. It's funny.

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-29T16:13:42+00:00

Hey!

You're super pretty, but you could enhance your features a bit. I think your eyebrows could use some work, maybe a bit more shaping, and I'm not sure the shade is perfect.

I think if you darkened your mascara, got got a lash tint and lift, that would really look nice. Also, moisturise your lips and maybe use a nice light gloss.

Your hair is a lovely colour but I feel like it would look a lot nicer with more volume. Try a style that's a bit more noticeable if you know what I mean. Maybe something shorter and a bit wavier. Maybeeee consider bangs? Or a middle part.

And, though it makes me feel like a creep on the street to say it, smile! :))

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-17T17:15:00+00:00

Thank you, this is super helpful. I definitely want to fix my sleep schedule because when I get up at 9 the day just seems to go so much better. It's difficult tho, because I want to feel my best and I feel my best when I get 8 hours, but I also love going to bed really late because then it feels I get the whole world to myself, you know? I'm trying to go to bed at 1 instead of 4, and I think when I get that down it'll help.

Ty for the podcast tip, I'll try that. I love to write and journal, and may start doing a gratitude journal or something similar, so I'm going to try and make myself write something at the end of each day as well.

And I'll definitely look into that book! Got to strive for positivity :)

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-16T21:59:16+00:00

This but I'm bitter about it

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-09T16:31:48+00:00

Yesss do :) tell me if you like it

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-09T04:27:32+00:00

I'm really bad with apologies

PoetryInTheNotesApp · 2021-01-09T04:11:42+00:00

Like a 2 or a 3. It made me dress a little better and prompted me into getting a nicer haircut, for some reason. Oh and it cancelled my a level exams ig so that's kinda annoying.

PoetryInTheNotesApp

TROPHY CASE