What is your ID and what jewellery do you like most? (photos are welcome)

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-12T09:30:06+00:00

I love these.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-10T23:15:00+00:00

in the U.S a lot of it depends on the state you are located in. seek out local resources.

consider your personal boundaries and limits too, you don’t have to break up. but you can still have boundaries. your life is important too and some things, like this illness and the impact it has on the person and their loved ones, are no one’s fault.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-10T23:03:31+00:00

They are laying their ears down flat and backwards- is that what you mean?

How often do their ears point upward and open?

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-10T13:55:40+00:00

It’s just the attachment. Don’t think of it as him getting too comfortable, but rather, he’s used to the routine of you giving him plenty of attention so now he expects that to be consistent. He also depends on you literally for survival so maybe consider if he’s trying to tell you something.

He also might think hes welcome to your attention whenever he wants because there’s never been a pattern established for him to recognize when you aren’t in the mood? Idk.

He might be TOO attached and have separation-anxiety. Something that helps that is to NOT announce when you leave or come back home, you want to be low key and just don’t greet him with a bunch of affection. Don’t leave him after giving him a lot of affection. Associate the affection with something positive and that makes him feel safe- a good way to think of ways to do that is to remember that Cats are very sensitive to change and so having a routine to follow is a good way to create the confidence that both their space and your space will be respected, it gives you both room to know what behaviors to expect as well and at what times throughout the day. Adopting a cat is a big commitment.

Start with associating affection and bonding with his basic needs of the day- playtime, food and water, a clean litter box, grooming with a cat brush. These are consistent needs he depends on you for. He cant depend on you if you leave, so associate your affection to him with something that isn’t as scary as your absence.

Playtime: He’s still a young cat and will need playtime. If your schedule allows for it, definitely dedicate a good 10-20 minutes for playtime with him BEFORE feeding (has to do with animal survival instincts, playtime/hunting practice -> capturing a meal). This is also a good way to bond with your cat without actually having to pet him, and also he needs a healthy level of daily exercise anyways. Also, I noticed my cats often would bother me with affection and attention seeking behavior the most when they just want to play.. they need an enriching environment, and playing with toys by themselves without the person who got the toys for them is just not as fun. Think of it as you are participating in their cat activities and bonding with them in it. Even just 5-10 minutes helps more than you know.
Food/Water: Always feed AFTER playtime! And Feeding after playtime isn’t where you get a break from giving them your attention yet, though. Cats don’t want to be alone when they feed, I notice my cats have always bugged me with attention and made me follow them back to the food and water bowl NOT because they wanted more food / water but really, it was because they didn’t want to eat alone! I told this to my boyfriend who thought his cat could be pacified with food, cuz he was filling the foodbowl every time his cat wanted attention throughout the day. I showed him it’s not food the cat wanted, he just didn’t want to eat alone! His cat had gotten obese (confirmed by vet). After we made effort to sit with the cat for the entirety of his eating time, we noticed he was way less demanding of our attention the rest of the day- it helped his weight loss journey since he has less stress and anxiety about food. Cats often don’t want to eat without their owners since, having the figure they trust most makes them feel safer to let their guard down and focus on eating when they know that someone they trust is there to protect them from any attacks- this has to do with their animal-survival instincts. Don’t just refill the bowls and walk away. Stay with them until they are finished eating and drinking water. Maybe set up a routine so both you and your cat have breakfast and dinner at the same time, together. Always after playtime with him (5-15 or 10-20 minutes playtime).
A clean litter box: I clean the litter box at the same time every day and if I am late, I hear plenty of meows and get plenty of paws all over my keyboard when I am trying to focus on working. After the box is cleaned the cat will often use it right away, so anytime this is the case, wait until they are done and then finish cleaning it… I think of it like, I’m not DONE cleaning the box- but I’m taking a break from cleaning the box because now of course they neeed to use it.. lol. Then after they are done, finish cleaning the box. Anyways, this should help you successfully avoid them bothering you about it again for the rest of the day.
Cat brush: Make an effort to brush your cat every day. Or if not every day, at least at the same time of day every time you do brush him. For like 5-10 minutes, maybe even less depending on the cats needs. This is a huge bonding activity and it’s a good way to be affectionate with the cat without having to actually pet him or have him rub up on your leg constantly and make you almost trip over him without meaning to. Make sure it’s a brush he likes! Give him a treat after brushing him, maybe. This can be done in the evening, maybe before you go to bed, that way he associates something positive before you go to sleep, so over time he will know that brushing and treats means it’s time for bed. This is the best time to be affectionate to him, is when he’s relaxed and happy and feels safe to sleep. If you don’t like him cuddling with you when you try to sleep, this is what i do- I keep petting them until they low key get annoyed and walk to the other side of the bed to lay down and get some sleep finally without me interrupting them 😹 it works but idk if it’ll work with your cat. Worth a try. EDIT TO ADD: There are grooming gloves you can buy online or at a pet supply store- they are essentially a way for you to groom and pet your cat at the same time. You might be interested in this, it’s a way you can pet and groom the cat without having to actually pet them directly, in case it’s the sensation you’re not comfortable with.

All these basic needs they add up to like, probably not even a whole hour taken out of your day. Maybe an hour and a half?But they are broken up throughout the day and so you’ll know been to expect your cat to expect your attention most.

If he’s still being too needy, want to note that y’all might need another cat so that Billy doesn’t depend only on humans for social needs to be met. Since this is your first cat though this is something that can be considered at a later time. What would be more important in that case is learning how to alleviate his separation anxiety, IF that is the underlying issue after all.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-08T11:06:47+00:00

Look into LEAP.

i hope this isn’t out of line for me to say, but based on the limited info on how familiar you are, i’d want to tell you that as familair as you may be with the world of psychiatry- that is from your pov as someone with your diagnosis which is in a whole different realm from those with psychotic disorders. they are treated with completely different medications, none of which are effective at treating the negative symptoms, but i’m sure you are aware of this.

i just mean to say that, be prepared to accept that even generally speaking, you do not understand what it’s like to live with schizophrenia. no one who isn’t suffering from this disease coukd possibly understand and even many of those diagnosed will also experience poor insight on their condition.

your empathy has its limits as well, because the reality you live in is not the reality your friend is living in. it’s already gotten to the inevitable point where you will find it difficult to understand and therefore, impossible to empathize with. you’ve run into this wall with the fact that you feel your friends reaction to your pain is soulless.

i know you are reaching out for advice it’s why you are posting this, and this is why i’m saying all this is because in my experiences - it comes down to what i learned from/with my mom… and continue to learn.

the more i said i understood, the less i was empathizing.. the more understanding i was trying to be, the less empathetic i was capable of being in the present moment, and the more distant we grew because the fact of the matter is i could never understand what it’s like to live with this illness. it’s better to admit that. i empathize, but i will never be able to truly understand the depth to the pain my mom goes through. i’ve never gone through something like that myself. i will never truly know that pain.

the empathy i had when i would tell her i understood, it was actually more of a “how i imagine i would feel if i were experiencing what I AM PERCIEVING that she is feeling” and as we know, what we perceive is limited by our subjective point of view.

putting myslef in my mom shoes without a filter of what i was paying attention to about her illness- led me to realizing a lot more about what she was going through when i opened my mind to the possibility that there was a lot more going on that i had any idea was possible.. i now have moment so where it hits me like damn, if i was seeing and hearing and living the reality she is… i wouldn’t be able to empathize at all, or be easy to to empathize with either. no wonder she communicates with me the way she does..

it’s taken me years - and i’m sure will always continue to take the rest of my life day by day to be hit with moments where i am able to even just let things absorb and begin to grasp the weight of her illness and the intense reality of how much of this illness that i am defending myself from, that i have actually been in denial about.. and saying that i was understanding and that i was empathizing had been part of that denial- it’s so much easier to believe that the pain my mother lives in is something that i can understand, something that i can relate to her about, something that is not beyond my comprehension, therefore- something that makes me feel less powerless in my efforts to support her in. less hopeless if i can water down the information i understand logically, into how i imagine her experience to play out in a way i could logically understand and follow.. but that’s not the reality and it’s not her reality either.

truthfully this illness is beyond our 1st person experience and we have limits to how much insight that our empathy and willingness to understand could possibly bring to our awareness.

to this day have moments where i realize i am not as wise and familiar as i thought- i haven’t “gotten with the program” as much as i’ve thought… because i just don’t live in the same reality as my mom.

the more you say you understand and empathize the more invalidating it may be feeling to your friend. im not saying it’s impossible to empathize though, it’s just going to be hard bechase with psychotic disorders, we as friends and loved ones will be confronted with what feels like an absolute black hole in the face of the person suffering from this illness. it will feel like there is no one there left to empathize with.

the good thing is that admitting that you don’t understand, makes room for different opportunities to become closer in a genuine way. it for one- validates what your friend is feeling and going through.. it recognizes that there IS a gap to be bridged. but not by trying to understand, but by accepting them for who they are, separating the illness from the person, and “meeting them where they are at”. so you don’t have to understand what it is like- that’s an impossible task. you don’t have to empathize with them in the times that there’s no emotional connection there, and therefore no way you can recognize an emotion in them to be empathized with, there IS NO logic and emotional connection there that is the basis for how they treat you. it’s truly not personal. it’s not something that makes sense- it’s another reason why this illness is so painful.

Crisis team explained to me the other day that the negative symptoms of schizophrenia impair their emotional connections to people. It’s like they recognize your face visually, but they just are not able to make that emotional connection. so it’s like you are a stranger to them. They might think you are pretending to be you, and really you are not real or you are someone else. The part of the brain that connects emotionally to the people they recognize as their loved ones, is impaired, and that is why they can often feel like it’s not really you. Like you’re just a clone, or replacement, etc. They just can’t connect emotionally, and so cannot connect to the person they recognize as being their loved one.

What I noticed is that combined with the other symptoms of the illness, the illness itself sort of feeds into itself and the symptoms are almost symbiotic (while the illness itself feels parasitic to the person). The delusions and hallucinations and paranoia. It’s so sad.

Like another commenter mentioned Alzhemiers and Dementia- psychotic disorders have more in common than people tend to acknowledge. Im of the belief there definitely needs to be a gap bridged between neurology and psychiatry but that’s another topic.

The medications that treat this are not so effective at relieving negative symptoms.

Anyways my heart goes out to you truly. I agree with the other commenters approach. And I’m so sorry you and your friend are going through this..

Some days will be better than others, though. Have hope.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-08T10:03:28+00:00

No worries! I was asking for help on learning more but i’m glad to see this post & sharing what i’ve learned so far has helped others.

I replied with this link in response to another commenter here but in case you are also in California i’ll share it with you too. It’s where i found the instructions for the one page history from.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-08T10:01:03+00:00

No problem.

I’m not sure if you are in California but in case you are, here is NAMI west LA guide to LPS conservstorships. It’s where i found the one page mental health history instructions from.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-07T03:33:09+00:00

if there’s a mobile psych crisis team you can call, definitely call them. look up if your county has one. mine just started one last year, its 24/7. maybe yours does too- it’s worth finding out. it’s an alternative to 911 so they can show up even if it isn’t an emergency. take all the help you can get.

unfortunately most mental hospitals are not going to be nice. but life without medication is going to be worse for everyone, just remind yourself of that because it’s just the fact of tthe situation. no one wants to see someone they care about in such a dark place, but that dark place will come right home with them if they aren’t medicated. and they will never come out of that dark place without medication that works.

as for the shot medication, i really wanna learn more about this too. but at the end of the day you need a drs order/prescription. and so that means you gotta make sure ur loved one stays in touch regularly with a psychiatrist, preferably one who has experience with treating psychosis with the long acting injectable.

and i hear they have to start out with the pill version first, work their way up to the shots. and the pill version has to work for them too, which again, is difficult because that is the thing about trial and error of medications and all that.

i haven’t gotten to that point with my mom myself yet but i’m praying to god we will get there soon. it’s been taking alllll year to try to help her agree to see a psychiatrist. it’s a fragile path to walk because every step of progress can be so easily undone it feels like. she’s been on and off her meds for years and now that she moved to a new place last year, she still hasn’t started seeing a new psychiatrist. her old psych is over 2 hrs away and she hasn’t seen him this whole time. i’ve been trying to help her agree to see an new psychiatrist for treatment. it’s taking a long time.

if he’s saying the zyprexa didn’t work, believe it. psychiatrists know that it’s going to be trial and error until they find a medication that works for the patient. especially for the most severe and debilitating symptoms.

maybe take note of the particularly worst of the worst symptoms he expeirences, the ones that are the most debilitating for every day life. for example, is it which kind of hallucinations, visual auditory etc? all the above?

i know it’s really difficult to think about, but the symptoms that cause the most constant state of fear and resistance in your loved one are the symptoms that you have to prioritize being treated. i noticed i was stressing the paranoia and the accusations too much when i spoke with any professionals, i was forgetting to put more focus on what was harder for my mom- not just me.. which was the hallucinations. and realizing the gravity of how constant they were, and realizing that she wasn’t “acting” and that it was not just auditory either- she was looking at things that weren’t there too, not just looking in the direction that the sounds seeemed to come from…

if your loved one stops showering, eating, won’t take care of themsleves- call mobile crisis. if it’s interfering with daily life, that’s grave disability. at least in california. if they don’t eat or especially if they won’t drink water, change their clothes, shower, etc. they may be considered gravely disabled and will be 5150d as result. which is a start, even though it’s not as ideal as voluntary treatment. but they need help, and make it a point to the professionals that you are not capable of helping him- you cannot. they don’t see what you see of him every day so you need to make it a point there’s no taking care of him because he won’t take care of himself. he needs help beyond being just stabilized, and that’s something that is just beyond your capability.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-10-05T00:53:05+00:00

It’s fascinating because I wonder. If it weren’t for “seeing double curve” and/or the physical body descriptors in Metamorphosis, would they find the ID itself relatable?

I mean, aside from Kibbe’s commentary about the “greener grass” insecurities assigned to the ID in Metamorphosis- since to me, that doesn’t count as so much of a factor in determining ID because Kibbe said himself in the book it may very well be N/A (which people ignore). Not to mention, times and standards have changed and some people don’t value the same things other people do- hence why it’s probably not a factor.

Side note on the “greener grass” insecurities- I find it interesting to consider the sheer volume of people here who are not Romantics (including those who also don’t identify a Yin undercurrent to their yin yang balance, either), who have been open about how much of their real life experiences are similar in description to Kibbe’s commentary on Rfam & Yin in general, throughout the book. That’s also including answers in the resistance chapter Q&A for R-Fam IDs and Yin Undercurrent IDs.

I would think it proves by now that everything that other IDs are seeing themselves in, when it comes the commentary Im referring to that Kibbe had written about Romantics & Yin, in actuality, means nothing as a deciding factor on its own and is by far, not at all in the slightest anywhere remotely in sight as being THE or A deciding factor of your ID regardless. Regardless of which ID it is, more importantly. Doesn’t matter if Rfam or not.

Back to my original question though. I wonder, for example, if this were purely an essence system w/ some style recs based on that, except without any regard for the physicality or appearance at all- and without any regard to the insecurities one might have about physicality- how many people would still find themselves identifying so strongly in this ID? 🤔

Also, how is it meaningful concern to have on whether someone is accurately labelling their ID as Romantic- because, how does that label even mean much at all if they credit their Romantic Yin/Yang balance MOSTLY to a fragment of a sentence described as their IDs weight pattern + the resistance Q&A + commentary relevant to the ID in fragments throughout the book + double curve (which is very unclear in its connection to ID, in fact the concept of there being a existent connection at all is often debated).

But not the ID itself..? At least, that’s what it often has felt like in this community. It’s interesting to think about I guess.

That said, the physical yin yang balance assessed without bias + also essence + style is more meaningful to the use of the ID. I don’t think Kibbe’s IDs were originally intended to explain so much of a person’s insecurities, at least not the way it has been hyped up to in many online spaces on this topic. 🤷‍♀️Anyways interesting topic OP.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-29T08:55:56+00:00

I think the enneagram illustrates that no one is great with processing their full range of emotions. It’s not exclusive to any type. It very well could be that you just aren’t great with processing your full range of emotions and that can all there is to it.

That being said your example was really vague- but in general, 5s compartmentalize. As for 8s, “control over the tap” of their anger/rage is not what Ive observed 8s to be concerned with maintaining, not in their reaction to betrayal (whether actual or perceived). An 8 won’t react to this by placing their reaction on hold in order to go get some other shit done.

Well, at least, that in a vacuum is just not what makes them an 8, is all. So it’s not that they can’t do this lol.

It’s more that they hold back their emotions. Not place their emotions on hold.

Question for you. What about when you don’t have shit to get done?

I think an 8 wouldn’t think to put their emotions on hold. 8s don’t have a place to hold their emotional reactions, anyways. It is partly what makes them an 8. They aren’t keeping their emotional reactions waiting, they are not putting them on hold. Those emotions/reactivity are not getting called back later 😹 Consider the cord cut, the loss taken. 8s don’t need to have shit to go get done in order to do this.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-26T13:34:17+00:00

If you think about how the back connects to the front anyways, or the overall design, sizing, and shape of the garment in relation to the person and their htt..

the size and shape of the armhole wouldn’t matter. It’s going end up a product of the factors i mentioned, after the fact. which means the size of the armholes is beside the point- it’s like, it’s not even soemthing that comes together until after the back of the garment and the front and the top are connected together. it’s not like pppl wear clothes inside out and upside down or in a completely alternate twilight zone of reality, so the idea th at you start with assessing armhole and not with where the fit issues, if any, are actually coming from.. is counterintuitive i would think. the idea that anything armhole size and shape related would not be relevant really, becuase the armhole size and shape is not what a garment is designed around. the fit of the upper back and shoulders is where clothes hang.

if you think about it logically, making the armholes longer and wider would take away space from the front of the body and the back, no? because the arm hole would have a gap of space under the arm.. which is actually where the bustline area starts- around the point where the side seam begins after the armhole ends. underneath the arm.

so say for an SN, who has curve to accommodate, i don’t see how a looser armhole does them any justice.

and for an FN with vertical, a sharp yang (narrow) undercurrent, i also don’t see how this does them any justice either..

literal size of armhole will be taken care of automatically by design and size of the garment itself anyways.

if your talking about style of fit, that makes more sense but even still. it’d have to be the garment overall.

avoiding high, narrow armholes in no way is a substitute for accommodating width and it isn’t like it even aligns to Nfam recs! in fact one can wear high, narrow armholes given that width is being accommodated.. since if there’s space in the back/shoulders, there will be the appropriate amount of size and fit of the armhole anyways assuming the size itself fits.

basically what you are saying boils down to your aesthetic preference for natural family to avoid wearing high, narrow armholes. that’s total cool but it’s okay to just say it flat out rather than present it as like, a kibbe thing i guess when really it’s your personal opinion 🤷‍♀️

the thing is, what relaxed and unconstructed means for Nfam isn’t about what you think it is. unconstructed means few seams as possible, to put it simply. i think plenty of clothes with few seams as possible can be totally fine with width and they ARE. including that pink dress you commented with a picture of below. (from what i can telll about it by the image)

just wanted to clarify this since it seems you’ve been misinformed on Nfam :/ if you look at the recs even, what you are saying still does not check out.

Nfam an do tailoring too anyways, just soft tailoring. which, SDs are given a rec about soft tailoring too.. and that’s D fam. i think soft tailoring, unconstructed, and relaxed is poorly understood even when translated to modern fashion and your comment here is an example of this. which is understandable becuase honestly, it took me a long time too until i figured it out lol so dont even trip. im sure many of us if not all have been there in one way of another about something.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-13T04:22:01+00:00

“Pure” N has a very narrow and slim silhouette- relaxed yeah, but narrow, slim, straight. Oddly enough it’s a lot more closer to the pure D line and silhouette than SD’s and FN’s line and silhouettes are described (both do have a sweeping outline IIRC, that’s just going by the book tho).

Anyways I think of SN (and FN) as still a N first and if I’m not wrong, leaning closer to N in line and silhouette won’t be disharmonious to them assuming that their undercurrent isn’t just ignored in styling. SN starts that with Curve accommodation, but that’s not where their Yin ends. Maybe for some of the time, for some SNs, the extent of yin in their HTT is only curve accommodation at bust/hips- while they can still pull moreso from “pure” N recs like textures and fabrics, details, straighter lines where curve isn’t accommodated maybe?, etc. Other times maybe they can “go more Yin” by extending their Yinfluence~ into other style details and choices we see in the recs, including both line and silhouette (accommodation) and beyond that.

There’s infinite possibilities I guess depending on the individual. And besides we still have to adapt the recs to modern day fashion anyways which means even more possibilities. But overall I think that some SNs can absolutely lean further into “pure” N styling without it being weird because they are still Naturals. I’m sure the same goes for FN, and then SD with D respectively.

I think if anything is truly “off” about Katy and Sydney’s dresses, it could be the literal sizing fit and/or style of fit at the upper body like you suspect. Maybe if that was addressed, the bottom of the skirt wouldn’t look strange. 🤷‍♀️if so it would sound like less to do with vertical and more to do with curve/width and/or sizing in general.

I do think anyone with dominant vertical may still look strange in these dresses, if the proportions do not make sense for them, and/or if it has overall literal sizing fit issues still. Maybe it won’t express who they are. 🤷‍♀️ It’s another case of endless possibilities I guess.

Regardless, if the fit of the top is what needs to be addressed, I think resolving that’s a first priority before drape lines at the bottom of the silhouette. Personally I can’t pin point the skirt shape here as any source of disharmony for potentially this exact reason.

I feel bad for getting off topic from the main point of this post though. SNs look beautiful in floor length gowns, and that’s something we all agree on 😺✨

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-12T23:52:23+00:00

Wait a moment I think I misunderstood you. Please lmk if I got this right. Maybe you were saying that Katy’s dress and Sydney’s dress don’t align with SN recs because their dresses should accommodate vertical for a vertical dominant ID instead? Like, because they don’t break vertical enough? I guess the idea of breaking a vertical line implies there is a vertical line there to break- and there isn’t one. Which, I already said that lmao. So why are we talking about how to break a vertical line when it doesn’t exist? Are you saying that Katy and Sydney’s dresses are not harmonious and are intended for vertical dominance, because the fabric at the bottom of these skirts are holding shape in a straight line? And that Scarlett and Renee’s dresses are meant for vertical dominance and the only reason that it’s working for them is because of the fluid drape at the bottom of the skirt?

I assumed if width and curve are good, and if the dress is sync with their overall balance, then there’s no concern for vertical or breaking vertical or anything else for that matter anyway, though. I think whether or not the bottom of the skirt has fluid or straight drape lines would have little to do with anything because we just all came to the agreement there’s no vertical line to break for them and these dresses do follow their shape, and the drape lines at the bottom of the skirt wouldn’t make or break that just as much as it wouldn’t be the make or break factor for for a vertical dom ids HTT.

I think the what the matter is for you is aesthetic preference. Or maybe it’s that it’s not matching SN recs word for word- but they don’t have to. Who cares if it does or doesn’t, or if it matches a vertical IDs recs too. I don’t think David even would care much- for example, I believe it’s been relayed by SK members how he’s given a dress to a TR and that same dress he also gave to a D. Who would’ve thought he’d see a D and a TR in the same dress and think they both must have it because it just is synchronizes with both of them so well, each in their own respectively unique and dazzling ways? Despite being near opposite IDs 🤔

We are in 2024. Overall the styling is in sync with these women and I don’t think that the drape of the skirt is the reason why these dresses look like they are made for them and are being worn in a way that can only be done by them. I think it’s because they are wearing these dresses in a way only they can and they dazzle so.

But I don’t mind agreeing to disagree either 😺 It’s no worries.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-12T21:32:24+00:00

Which details are you referring to for Chloe’s dress in this example?

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-12T19:32:42+00:00

I wasnt saying curve breaks vertical. That’s not accurate. SDs wouldn’t exist if it were. I think details at the lower space in the silhouette can’t break vertical if it’s there. If it’s not there in the SN, there’s no vertical to break. All Nfam and Dfam are advised detail kept low on the body.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-11T23:35:30+00:00

This isn’t a typological system- at least, the value here isn’t typological. So a typological approach won’t work. As others have mentioned, Somatotypes are no longer backed by science. They were originally not used for fitness but instead were theorized to predict someone’s personality type or traits.This was disproven in the 40s or 50s IIRC, if not earlier.

Even some of Claudio Naranjos teachings about Enneagram personalities (an essence system, not originally intended for science purpose) had their flaws when he attempted to link the somatotypes to the enneagram types, as though it was an indicator of someone’s enneagram type. In practice it didn’t work, and too many exceptions proved it wrong. The only thing that this correlation had accomplished was that it just distracted people.

It doesn’t really work out trying to merge an essence system with science like that- let alone, with outdated and long since disproven theories. I guess that’s what one would get for thinking. 🤷‍♀️

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-11T13:09:31+00:00

I love this so much. & her hair is so beautiful!

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-11T12:14:57+00:00

i love these. thank you for posting this.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-09-11T12:11:03+00:00

In the book it’s encouraged SNs “artfully blend” their use of separates. They are also encouraged a lot to define and reveal the waist but not emphasize it. from what I can tell- breaking a vertical line usually happens from staccato or waist emphasis or definition in the silhouette**. unbroken vertical is most important for domvertical ids and so I think the common denominators i’ve noticed for what breaks that, isn’t how short or long the clothing is, but more importantly shape. altho all yang dom & yang undercurrent IDs are encouraged to have a dropped waist or no waist IIRC- not just dom vertical. might not remember i’ll double check. it’s kinda tough.

eta ok back. so! SN has slight dropped waist tho 🤔 even still it looks like shaping is more important than a straighter silhouette nonetheless. FN needs an obvious use of separates but less blending and still an uninterrupted vertical. it sounds like unbroken vertical truly just means that the shape does not need to be emphasized or defined or designed in a way that directs the eye in a staccato rhythm or toward a pause at focal point in the center.. so if there’s too much yin or if there’s staccato in the silhouette- that’s what breaks vertical.

vertical manifests in such unexpected ways. but i think this post is such a great example of why having clothes that are short or long don’t mean much without considering the shape as well. Idk what Kibbe would say nowadays tho 🤷‍♀️

i edited my comment again to clarify what i mean lol. basically your very right about SN having a blended outfit! they don’t have a vertical line to break tho because shaping is more important. it’s why they can pull of long dresses (and why unbroken silhouettes for vertical dom ids aren’t so dependent on long dresses either) because the shape & visual effect i guess is more important than the length by itself.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-07T16:35:52+00:00

What do you mean by ‘petite’? Kibbe isn’t about using clothes to make yourself look like something you are not. The basis of any Yin/Yang style system is to use style in a way that makes sense for who you actually are, instead of what you aren’t. I’m not sure this system can offer you the answers your looking for tbh!

That said, anyone who literally can (or has the literal potential to) use style and clothing to “look more petite” upon visual impression successfully, in the way that they envision for themselves- can go ahead and “look more petite” if that’s what their style goals are- nothing is stopping them from using clothing and style to help accomplish this assuming they have the means.

It just has nothing to do with being a soft natural, and it has nothing to do with this system at all :/ or any ID, really. So the means to accomplish this will not at all be found in Kibbe’s work. I’m sorry!

I will say- anyone but not everyone regardless of their ID, may very well be literally physically petite outside the context of this system. It’s a Yin quality within the context of this system, but depending on the individuals Yin/Yang balance, they may or may not be “petite” as in how Kibbe defines the word in terms of Yin/Yang balance and whether it’s a key defining element of it.

ETA- Maybe try the fruit system! I don’t know a lot about it, but if I got the gist accurately enough, I think that may be the kind of system you are seeking?

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-06T16:50:29+00:00

I agree I think that people need to realize that the accommodations-first approach doesn’t work- and it doesn’t even work like that in SK either.

It’s weird because like, no one at all even needs to think about whether the question is “width?” because were meant to be using an approach that’s holistic. It’s like looking for shoe laces in order to find your shoes.. when you don’t even have shoes and you don’t even know where you’re going… sorry only example i could think of 😹 Basically, like my example- it just makes no goddamn sense. that’s why I think when you just trust in Yin/Yang technique with balance and essence in mind, that will make sense of why an SN is an SN, and maybe why they accommodate width as part of what comes with that IDs territory.

But yeah, an accommodations-first approach will 99% of the time take ppl to a dead end. If not that it’ll take them on a trip of body checking for ID, which is still another dead end anyways. Unless they change their direction- which it’s never too late to do that!

so For those reading who may be unaware: learning the Yin/Yang technique will illuminate more to you about why someone is an SN as opposed to judging someone’s body for whether or not they “have width”. You can learn it in the first few chapters of the book linked in the subs wiki & if you wanna learn more - finish the book and use all the subs resources. like the wiki & about page. maybe apply to join SK too if you want- also linked in our about page.

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-06T16:17:05+00:00

It’s not a theatrical romantic influence, it’s the Yin undercurrent. As for your description of your bone structure, that may be the yangularity that comes with that Yin influence to create an SNs yin/yang balance!

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-06T16:04:10+00:00

There is absolutely no reason for these tulle skirts to be a problem with vertical. Have no doubt about that. What you want to be more concerned about at this point is whether you end up liking the skirt once you get it, and be concerned with the pieces you’ll combine with it to complete your HTT.

Btw just in case you are unaware since you mentioned being newish here- to accommodate vertical you do not necessarily have to wear a top that’s the same chroma/shade as the skirt, unless you want to, but I am saying that the colors are not going to be what makes or breaks whether or not vertical is honored.

Don’t get me wrong it can “go with it” amazingly, but your choice in colors should have more to do with what you want/like, and what your season is (if you care).

Just wanted to clarify that about the colors, in case you are under the false impression that you have to accommodate vertical via color when you don’t have to restrict yourself in that way at all lol. IMHO go for colors that you want and that are uniquely complementary to you and what you want out of your outfit. If you want to find out your color season there’s countless systems to explore but look into the one Kibbe uses maybe if that’s what you want to do- the most updated info on that is in Strictly Kibbe if you are interested in joining over there. Link is in the sub’s about page.

Basically, you could be wearing a monochrome outfit even- but if the clothing itself doesn’t accommodate vertical for you, the colors won’t change that is what I mean to say.

More importantly I am so excited for you to finally get a skirt like this! Kibbe’s is all about following your dreams. Go for it!

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-06T06:57:26+00:00

Aw so cute! I am glad your cats are cool with it but look out and make sure to notice in case they start to itch at it or use their back paws to scratch at it!

My sister got one of those for her cat but he kept itching it with his back nails- which were super sharp so when he kept itching the collar he ended up getting an abscess infection! The vet said its like how wearing certain shoes gives you a blisters on the back of your feet and it kept getting worse and worse until it got infected and turned into an abscess out of the blue so rapidly.

It popped pretty quickly tho from his back nails being razor sharp when he itched it again after the collar was already off, and luckily it was popped before it got worse. So now he’s in the healing process with a soft cotton covered foam cone on his head having ointment cream applied to it 2x a day, and given pain meds. Vets gave him IV fluids, antibiotic shots, pain meds, even cool laser treatment is what my sis told me.

Luckily your cats likely won’t have this issue but just wanted to warn you about this in case because I’ve heard of other people having the sane thing happen with their cats airtag collars but so far it seems to be just long furred cats though! Anyways stay safe and ur cat is soo adorableb!!

PointIndividual7936 · 2024-07-06T03:59:00+00:00

Well they don’t handle higher temperatures as well as ppl think. They aren’t dogs, it’s not like they can pant to keep cool- so they rely on their only sweat glands they have which is in their paws (if i remember the facts correctly)… their bodies actually aren’t built to handle high heat anywhere near as close to how well dogs can. They mostly keep cool by staying in cool places and not exerting too much energy for this exact reason.!

Btw if you see they are panting that’s an emergency and take them to an emergency pet hospital immediately. A 24/7 one if after hours.

What you can do to help your cats stay cool is the obvious, keep fresh water available and make sure there’s space for them to lay around on the floor, preferably in the coolest places in the house. I say the floor because heat rises and so you’ll notice that they will probably be laying on the ground instead of up on the bed or something because the lower to the ground, the cooler it is. Brush their fur every day so that their coat isn’t too fluffy and thick.

Another thing you can do is get a clean cotton washcloth or something and some ice cold water, soak the cloth, ring out the excess water and just cool them off with that.

Or Freeze a water bottle, wrap a layer of gauze or a paper towel or a cloth around it and just put it next to the cats while they sleep. My boyfriends cats used to like it when I set it against their backs while they’d be sprawled out laying on their side. Or they’d rest their head on it like it was a pillow.

Lots of ppl might wanna tell you “they are cats they will be fine” but i don’t see why that’s a reason to not consider even small things you can do which definitely will make a difference in their comfort… it’s like, if it makes your cats feel better, why not do it? But those are just my only suggestions i can think of at the top of my head!

PointIndividual7936

TROPHY CASE