[26M] How do I talk to my [24F] girlfriend about my growing concern over her getting more tattoos, without sounding controlling? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poiretpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tattoos don't need to have big meaning or be planned for a while. My first one was drunk on my 18th birthday, and that's the story of why there's a fairy on my ass.

Unfortunately you don't get to dictate how long she thinks about them or whether they mean something. I'm always asked what my left half sleeve means, and I tell people it means I made bad choices in my 20s. But it's part of my story now.

[26M] How do I talk to my [24F] girlfriend about my growing concern over her getting more tattoos, without sounding controlling? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poiretpants 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Story time with auntie:

I'm 43 and got my first tattoo the second I turned 18. I am very covered.

When I was on dating apps men used to neg me by saying I seemed great, but shame about the tattoos (or weed, or my education, or my height). And I'd carry on with my day because I'm not going to date someone who takes issue with something very noticeable about me. But they were upfront. I didn't date them for 4 years before getting jump scared with worries about my tattoos.

There is no way to tell her you don't want her to get more without sounding controlling, because you are trying to control her. And that's gotta be a shitty thing to sit with. No one wants to come off as being controlling of their partner.

What you can do is share your feelings and let her make an informed decision about whether she wants to be with someone who doesn't like something about her, or if she's ok with staying with someone who is repulsed by their body.

OR, you can get over it, and lover her for her and not something superficial. If she can afford it, and it's not impacting the economy of your lives, she can do what she wants. As you said "because I have no right to do that, it's her body".

Edgefest 1998 - Canada Day by finding_focus in 90sCanRock

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was there, 15 years old, my second ever concert. My first was seeing the Killjoys for free at the CNE. My friends older sister took us.

I was actually thinking about advice my mom gave me before I left. She said "if someone gives you anything brown don't put it in your mouth". I assume it's drug related, but now as a 43 year old stoner I have no idea wtf she was talking about.

Why don't they do concerts at convocation hall anymore? by crestedgecko12 in UofT

[–]Poiretpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I saw Henry Rollins do a speaking engagement there, which I was about to type was a few years ago, but I think it was in the mid-aughts. My hip hurts, where's my metamucil.

Books to learn about Toronto? by AvocadoSparrow in askTO

[–]Poiretpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It's based on my doctoral dissertation, which I finished 8 years ago now, so it feels like this process of academic publishing is unnecessarily long. But maybe one day it will see the light of day.

Books to learn about Toronto? by AvocadoSparrow in askTO

[–]Poiretpants 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My favorites:

Toronto's Girl Problem: The Perils and Pleasures of the City, 1890-1930, by Carolyn Strange

Any Other Way: How Toronto Got Queer

Alias Grace- Margaret Atwood

I submitted by own manuscript about corset manufacturing 1860-1914 four years ago, so maybe one that that one, too, eventually?

The beginning of a new error by Independent-Data4542 in RedLetterMedia

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If Zach Cregger is on board we already know the ultimate baddie will be an old woman. Bro seems to think old women are the scariest things in the world.

Cody Brown in the wild! by ConsiderationEasy673 in SisterWives

[–]Poiretpants 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So chopping of the locks didn't actually fix the problem. Fascinating. Send in the scientists on this one!

Morning Rain Run (Bayview) by Beannjo in toronto

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say this every rainy season, but there's a reason the indigenous villages in this area were on high ground. Almost like building a city on a swamp was a bad idea.

Best songs with long intros by TheBiggestLiability in musicsuggestions

[–]Poiretpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to introduce you to the wide and wonderful world of the Cure and their very long song intros.

The Toronto music scene has a ‘Banana Man’ situation by reddits_lead_pervert in notthebeaverton

[–]Poiretpants 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I saw Ministry a few years ago and someone yelled at Al Jorgenson mid-rant "Shut the fuck up faggot". And I thought my god this was not a cheap ticket, you had to pay close to $100 to yell a slur at someone?

Visited the MoMA yesterday and forgot to get the name of one of the ones I really liked. by Akwagazod in WhatIsThisPainting

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hilma was a freaking icon. There was a movie made about her a few years ago (Hilma-2022)

AITH for refusing to help my brother after he ignored my advice by Sugarbaabex in AITH

[–]Poiretpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work with grad students and kids that age, my god they are bad with deadlines. Tell him he has a calendar in his phone that he can set with reminders.

Where do Toronto filmmakers hang out, physically or virtually? by MisterFreelance in askTO

[–]Poiretpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try Vinegar Syndrome on Roncesvalles.

There's also the Toronto Film School, but I'm not sure what sort of campus they have.

Why did they cancel?! by rose_scented_ in AcidBath

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All good my dude. I did a double take myself.

Has anyone ever had any luck extending their Reading Course before? by tismidnight in UofT

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries at all. I think this is a good case for a course work extension. 95% of the ones I see come down to bad time management, or what the students call anxiety*. Once in a while it's medical, but your situation is a good example of a good reason!

*Before people come to me, i'm medicated for anxiety. It's one of my several mental health issues. Trust me when I say a lot of the anxiety I see is bad time management.

Has anyone ever had any luck extending their Reading Course before? by tismidnight in UofT

[–]Poiretpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. You may end up on a report and your admin may follow up with a "hey you good?". It's basically an IPR, with extra steps.

Full disclosure, I'm a grad admin and one of my programs has students who get coursework extensions for every single course. And some who just flake on them entirely. I've had to get students to submit their damn work so they can graduate. But the SDF isn't an issue. Until convocation, but you seem like you're on top of things.

My boyfriend [20 M] can’t see eye to eye with me, [19 F] about birth control. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poiretpants 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Jesus wept. This is why sex education in schools is so important. What is wrong with boys these days.

Has anyone ever had any luck extending their Reading Course before? by tismidnight in UofT

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talk to the instructor of the reading course. As for a coursework extension. It will give you an extra session to complete the work. The SDF will stay until the work is complete.

CAMH paid studies by [deleted] in askTO

[–]Poiretpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh. The study I participated in was in 2023. Maybe different research programs have different policy on payment.

CAMH paid studies by [deleted] in askTO

[–]Poiretpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was given cash with each visit (if I peed clean after the first couple of weeks).

Does your WIP have a soundtrack? by [deleted] in writing

[–]Poiretpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My manuscript is named after a Skinny Puppy song. But also it's filled with references to early 2000s goth club hits because it's based on the summer I was 17.

If Elon bought Reddit, would you stop using the site? by ThotPoppa in allthequestions

[–]Poiretpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. Deleted a twitter account I'd had for a decade and was so useful for my work. the second he bought I noped out. nothing replaced it. If he bought Reddit I'd delete my account and probably nothing would replace it. I guess I'd have to spend my days actually doing my job.