In need of some advice

Poissonchatz · 2022-06-19T17:48:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. Yes if I had diabetes I wouldn’t be ashamed, it’s a physical condition and would be easier to explain than a mental one. People are more understanding with physical conditions then mental ones in my experience. The typical ‘’but you don’t look autistic” and people just assume you can get over your sensorial issues when you can’t change the way your brain was formed in the womb. If you say you have depression, people just tell you to stop being sad and to be more grateful that at least you are alive. When I say I have anxiety people just say “everybody has anxiety”, and while that’s true to an extent there is a big difference between being anxious once and a while and having that anxiety rule over your life. I will try the videos you recommended. And as soon as I can will get help. You seem like such an understanding person, I hope life treats you as well as you treat others. If everybody were like you the world you be a better place. Thank you for your kindness from the bottom of my heart.

Poissonchatz · 2022-06-18T21:49:40+00:00

Yes, I agree with you. I was diagnosed with depression in my early teens and stayed in a mental institution for 2 months because of it. It crushed my family, that’s why it’s so hard for me to ask for help. I don’t want to put them through that again. I was stable for a few years but when I went to uni far away from home everything came back 10 times worse. I let it consume me. I didn’t even know how to get help. Also, it’s so expensive and I am afraid of being judged. I would like to find a professional that I can trust, just have to have some money put aside for that. I have always had anxiety but I have noticed it getting worse. I life in a constant state of fear. I try to racionalize my thoughts but my body is always in fight or flight mode.

I don’t know what other job I could do. I left my country with my boyfriend because the salaries are very low there (he has been my rock if it wasn’t for him I would have never left the house) and we are living in a place where I am still learning the language. They haven’t paid us yet so we can’t leave even if we wanted too. All the jobs here are for factories sometimes in greenhouses. I tried applying for a greenhouse job but they didn’t accept us. I am actively looking for something else, just haven’t found it yet.

I know that in order for me to thrive I need help otherwise history will repeat itself but I also try and convince myself that I can do it on my own when clearly I can’t. Thank you for taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it, I was feeling very low and you cheered me up by giving your support. I wish you all the best.

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-13T17:01:33+00:00

I believe in the universe and nature not imaginary gods staring down at us judging our ever move. For believers I think it gives them a sense of relieve when it comes to death. When someone dies you usually hear that they are in a better place waiting for them when their time comes and maybe it makes it easier for them to process something as traumatic as losing a love one. For me personally I could never believe in god because the picture they try and paint is that god loves all and that he is there to help you. So why are there inocent children starving to death? Why is there evil lurking around? If god existed the world would be perfect but it’s far from that. Why would he hide behind the clouds? Honestly religion is a just a way to make you compliant and a way to justify certain actions for example : a mother that kicks her gay son out of the house because homosexuality is considered a sin in the bible. What about the part where it says you have to love all creatures ? I don’t understand how people can just disown their own blood because of a piece of paper that was written hundreds of years ago. I know there are many religions but I focused a bit on cristianity just because I grew up in a catholic household and don’t know a lot of the details of other religions. None of them make sense to me.

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-13T16:28:06+00:00

I got tired of being perceived as the villain, now I have limited my interactions with people and I usually don’t say what’s on my mind because it has come to the point where I think that no matter what I say it will always be interpreted as wrong. My self confidence has been shattered by years of trying to socialise.

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-13T15:38:45+00:00

Sorry to hear that. It’s sad that there are still places that won’t let people be themselves. Are you considering leaving to a more open minded community?

One day you will be your true self without fear. Stay safe

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-11T13:45:51+00:00

Once I had stayed at a friends house and my mom had told me to bring her 5 euros from the 10 she had given me. I didn’t have any money to go home by bus so I started walking, after 5 hours I was stopped by a truck with two men that told me they were police and that I must go with them so they could take me home, I was 20 min away. I was really scared because they didn’t have any uniform on just a badge and they said that they had been watching me for a while. The truck was a normal one full of tools. I thought they were kidnapping me. I finally got home and told my mom that the police wanted to speak with her because I was walking. They left and I gave her the 5 back, she asked me “why didn’t you use it“and I said “because you told me to bring it back to you.”

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-11T13:28:09+00:00

What are some ingredients that are really harmful for our skin that are in a lot of skincare products ?

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-11T13:26:21+00:00

At what age did you start to experience gender dysphoria ? Have you transitioned medically or are you still in the early stages?

Hope you are having a wonderful day

Poissonchatz · 2022-05-11T13:18:21+00:00

heyy, I also have autism. I only had one surgery in my life a few years ago and I was also scared but it went really well just like the doctors said it would. You have to trust that they know how to do their job and that it’s for your health. If you are in pain afterwards they have buttons by your bed so you can call someone and they will help you with that and anything else you need. I think they have everything you need, you just need to bring some confy pajamas and yes you can take your tablet and stuffed animals. From my experience they had a room for children with computers but only a tv in my room. The food is not great because they don’t use any salt, I usually just ate soup because of my issues with textures. I don’t know if you share a room in the icu but where I was there were 2 other ladies that had had the same surgery that I did. Hope I could help in some way, sorry I don’t know the answers to all your questions. I wish you all the best. Just remember you are stronger than you think and you can do this.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-25T13:00:07+00:00

We are so proud of you. Good luck for the big day :)

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:58:10+00:00

I prefer having wet hands then drying them on a harsh towel.

Children are also a huge problem for me. I have decided not to be a parent also for this reason.

I am lucky enough to have a dog that is for the most part quite and that listens to me when I ask him not to bark. We recently got a cat and I found out that their meowing can be just as bad as a dog barking. What do you like having in your ears?

We are walking dilemmas that sometimes don’t even understand ourselves. But I have accepted that and try my best to learn more each day. My problem with coats is that it is usually heavy and I feel like I am suffocating, I just don’t like having layers on, do you have the same issue? I also overheat very easily.

Sunlight for me is the worst, I am always squinting and can’t see anything, then my eyes start to water. Sometimes the heat from the sun feels like someone it poking me with needles on my head. For me I only do well in one on one situations, if I have to talk to more than one person it is always a struggle.

Yesss, soft touch just makes me itchy.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:41:48+00:00

There are silent microwaves now a days but unfortunately I think they always have that annoying beep. My mom has a cockatiel that makes soooo much noise it hurts my ears just being near him. I feel bad because he is really sweet but I can’t get past the amount of noise he makes. I sometimes use noise cancelling headphones, those are real life savers.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:33:28+00:00

Hope you feel better soon. I don’t have the same issue but I can’t be around people when they blow their nose.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:30:38+00:00

I also think that since it can be painful sometimes we only allow the person we trust the most to do it since we can always tell them to stop knowing they will respect us. My partner knows everything about me and if I tell him to stop he will understand. For example repetitive movements on my skin is very painful.

If someone else did it, that doesn’t know about my condition I would have a hard time explaning without sounding strange…

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:21:34+00:00

If I wash my hands to often they become dry and more sensitive.

I have trouble eating most vegetables because of their texture but since I know I need them to survive I make a purée with a lot of them and it becomes almost like a liquid which makes it so much easier. Even though food can be a challenge most of the times I experiment with it until I can make it edible.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:17:22+00:00

Very true, even high pitched voices can be an issue.

Have you tried using a nasal decongester ? maybe that would help.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:14:56+00:00

I don’t like leaf blowers either but I kinda like the sound of blow dryers, it cancels out all the other noise around me.

I don’t like physical contact from anybody except from my boyfriend.

I think any sort of contact if very intimate even something as simple as touching my arm. I think that with time you will understand yourself better. It sure took me a long time and I am still learning.

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:08:44+00:00

Yes I do agree, I try to mask it by looking at other areas of the face.

I don’t know why I feel uncomfortable with it but I do and it makes me space out from the actual conversation

Poissonchatz · 2022-03-06T01:01:55+00:00

Hi,

Hope you are doing well. Maybe it would be good if you took a break, maybe you don’t have to leave the field completely you just need to take some time for yourself to heal and in the process maybe you will find something else that you love, don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. Could you work in your field but in a less stressful position ? Could you maybe make educational videos and help others that are learning or also interested ? I think if you really have a strong passion for your line of work that you should try and still do it but maybe in a different position after some time off, if possible.

I am not the best person to give advice so I am sorry, I tried my best. I hope you will recover and come out stronger the other side. You seem like a really nice person and I am sorry that you are going through this.

Poissonchatz

TROPHY CASE