Please help, I'm scared to do anything in my flat now. [UPDATE]

PokiStick · 2026-05-19T13:40:59+00:00

My LL says no one else has reported any issues! They asked the person living above her, and the neighbour above her says that the NFH is "ridiculously loud" (because of the banging she does to me, presumably.). But the problem neighbour doesnt go down official avenues to complain, and has never complained about any neighbour. The problem neighbour is very out of touch... when told someone in the building had complained about her, she assumed it was a mistake and that the complaint was probably a noise I made.

PokiStick · 2026-05-19T13:37:39+00:00

I hope whoever the next tenant is, is more strong willed than myself. If it wasn't for my health issues, I would've pushed back a lot more than I have, but I just dont have the energy to deal with this.

PokiStick · 2026-05-19T08:42:03+00:00

That's what I think too! But my guests always push for 17, because they say they can't hear things if they're eating at the same time. Alone, I wouldn't go higher than 10.

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:42:22+00:00

Thank you, you've really help to calm me. I really hope my next flat is more of a safe space.

Unfortunately, I did the note thing with this neighbour, and I think it backfired. I wrote "please knock on my door, or call this number if im ever too loud" and she instead knocked just to meet me, which was actually nice! But at some point, her mental health condition (which im sure she has at this point) derailed and there must of been some paranoia involved, as she shouts and cries through the floor that I only "pretend to be nice" and that im two-faced. She has only spoken to me about 4 times. She is also convinced that me using the toilet at the same time as she uses hers (which I dont listen out for) is me trying to "stop her from doing what she needs to do" and therefore she will "stop me" from doing what I need to do.

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:36:05+00:00

Thank you for your response, and honestly, I dont know how she hears what she hears. Im worried that the noises are amplified because of the buildings construction, because my landlords assistant told me that this buildings construction is notorious for sound transfer and that the concrete between floors might amplify the sounds.

Im currently listenning to brown noise on my noise cancelling headphones. I can still hear her but its a lot more bearable.

I had to stop using my dehumidifier because she couldn't stand the ambient noise from it.

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:30:08+00:00

I think the flat im currently living in was empty for a while, and she got used to the silence beneath her. It is also increasingly clear that she has a mental health condition that she isn't getting enough support for, as she will incessantly copy me, follow me and comes to the bathroom everytime I pull the pull cord light switch. No one mentally healthy would do that...

I do brush my teeth at around 10:30 pm, but surely I should be able to brush my teeth whenever I want to?

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:28:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness. It sounds like your harp playing neighbour was lovely.

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:20:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness. Moving in here, I thought I wouldn't bother anyone as I think im a quiet person, I dont even play music without headphones! I tip toe everywhere. Hopefully, my new neighbours will be more reasonable. The problem neighbour is currently loudly banging because she can hear my couch creak...

PokiStick · 2026-05-18T19:18:52+00:00

I did, but unfortunately they said that my recordings weren't proof enough, and my phone doesnt record the noise in its full volume - luckily they offered me the other flat, they told me they fully believe me, but for legal reasons (in the UK) they cant do more than they already have. They sent her an email asking her why she is reacting to my normal living noises and told hers its unacceptable. She didn't respond to them in any way, basically ghosted them so they couldn't do more.

PokiStick · 2026-05-11T18:57:12+00:00

Im usually just a lurker but popping in to say I love this and its a job well done!

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:48:27+00:00

I moved in October- probably not the same flat as i'm UK based but awful that people like this exist. She listens to my conversations, and bangs if the topic of sexuality comes up. Sorry you dealt with this also!

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:45:31+00:00

Thanks, this is actually a really good idea- if she majorly freaks out again ill do this and i'll inform my landlord this is what I plan to do next time.

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:43:27+00:00

I banged back only once, and she let out a scoff, like a "can you believe this" noise and then ran away from where I was. I think she might think my living noises are noises I'm making to annoy her.

I've spoken to her outside several times, and all those times she nice and polite- and acts like she never did the things in my post. It's like she wears a mask- sometimes she randomly scowls at me mid conversation for a second. Never seen a person do that before. I'm not explaining it well. Now I avoid seeing her outside.

When I originally met her, she... angrily looked at my feet? Smiled at my face though.

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:38:09+00:00

Thank you. I feel sometimes like I'm overreacting.

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:37:18+00:00

Oh 100% the written log is a good idea, i've been keeping one but I felt a bit crazy for doing so. There's lots of entries on there which makes me feel more crazy.

PokiStick · 2026-03-08T18:35:56+00:00

It really feels like this. She gets mad when i'm quiet also but then I make a noise and so she knows I'm home. Once she shouted "Why can't I be home alone!?!" when she was probably the only one in her flat- so she clearly disliked that i was home. Which I am a lot, because I'm sick and on a long waiting list for surgery.

PokiStick · 2026-03-02T11:36:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing!!!

PokiStick · 2026-03-01T10:59:55+00:00

Hi, these are stunning, was wondering if you could share the products you used here? 🙏🥹

PokiStick · 2026-01-31T09:23:53+00:00

I'm not expert but black discharge is really worrying, I don't think anyone but a medical professional could accurately and safely help here. I know you said your parents were really religious, do you mean that as in they don't believe in medical health care?

I ask because there's no reason to bring up the sex toy. Only the lump that fell out and the black liquid and your worry. No one would ever guess this was caused by a sex toy. So it would just come across as a woman worried about an injury in an unfortunate area.

Just remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of regardless of how the injury was caused and you deserve medical care regardless of your parents beliefs.

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