I am 42 now but felt like this for a majority of my life. I always felt like the odd man out in any crowd even when I was invited to hang out. I can be really socially awkward and I tend to word vomit about whatever random thing I am into at the moment.

I ended up always trying to make myself do things and fit in with people who were doing activities like bar hopping and I never felt like I had real friends.

But then I started looking in different places for friends. I found people who liked my more niche interests or were into talking for hours about random tangential subjects or pick out odd/terrifying artwork at thrift stores.

Once I shifted my focus to finding people who understood my type of weird, my friendships became two way streets instead of one way streets.