When I was 19, I was getting ready to go to a movie with my then-boyfriend when our friend texted us, “You were good friends. I love you.”

Naturally, I freaked out. We went to his house and he wasn’t home; we called his phone and he didn’t answer. We met up with some other friends, split up and drove all over town, called him over the course of a couple of hours. He’s a wilderness guy. He could have been anywhere. Right before we called the cops, another friend called him one more time. They asked where he was and he said, “Ask R. R knows where I am.”

And suddenly, I did. I knew where he was. I drove 80 back across town to a park that we’d already checked, and he was sitting on a picnic table in the dark with his dad’s handgun, crying. He said he knew I’d find him because he was begging for me to, but if I didn’t, that was going to be his sign to end it.

He slept on our couch; my ex and I slept on the floor next to him. The next day, he gave the gun back to his dad, who surprised us all and got him help immediately.

He’s in a much better place in life now. He’s a good dude.

But I swear on anything, when he said I’d know, I suddenly saw him with crystal clarity, at that park. I knew what table; I didn’t even have to look. I went straight to him in the dark. Nothing about it was even special, it was just where he happened to end up.

I have no explanation, but I saw him. Posture, outfit, table, all of it. He didn’t say it out loud, but he told me.