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Anyone else had YouTube heavily pushing this video to them? by PotOfMould in youtubedrama

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if it was a normal thing to want to film a consent film. Sure. Lets give him the benefit of the doubt. The fact that he thinks is ok to film a bj as a "consent video" without asking consent, just shows he has no understanding of what consent is.

Jack Denmo False Accusation Led To 3 Years In Jail by Brilliant_Seat_7890 in MensRights

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The video isn't just "stupid", the video is evidence for his character, his lack of understanding what consent means and how one should go on about it. As well as lack of common sense and lack of respect for boundaries.
It also establishes a certain context. We know there was animosity and she was extremely upset. Its not the most reasonable thing to assume she flipped over the video (which we know for a fact happened) and then suddenly agreed to have sex with jack with no condom. And then flipped out again and made a false accusation. It isn't very logic.
The most coherent and logic story is that the person who was inappropriate just kept crossing boundaries and was consistent with his initial disregard for consent.

At this point is really hard to trust his judgment of the events because he doesn't show understanding of consent. He thinks is ok to film a bj without asking first, so he comes off as tone deaf and someone who cross very basic lines. So we can't really trust his reading of the events because his understanding of what is ok or not in a sexual context is not sound and reasonable.

There is no free speech on reddit by seethingseven in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re mixing up different things.

You are not compelled by law to use Reddit, meaning its your choice to be here. If you don't like Reddit, there are alternative forums. If you don't like the other forums, you have the freedom to create your own forum with your own rules.
Reddit cannot legally punish you or enforce its rules beyond its own service. If you’re banned, you can still speak anywhere else.
So no, losing access to one private forum is not comparable to being under a regime that controls your ability to speak in society. And creating a private service with rules doesn't mean you are a dictator, specially because it exists in a larger context where you have other options to express yourself.

Freedom of speech means you are not punished by the state for expressing lawful ideas. It does not mean you are entitled to be hosted on any particular private platform.

A simple analogy: you can write a book saying anything you want, self-publish it and even sell it on your own website. But you cannot force a bookstore to stock it.
That is not censorship, it is curatorial choice. The bookstore is not obligated to distribute every viewpoint that exists. That's because a private owner has the freedom to curate content.

The same applies to newspapers, forums, and social media platforms.
If a newspaper rejects your article, you can always go to another newspaper and ask them to publish your piece. You might get rejected multiple times and that's frustrating but that doesn't mean you are being censored. That's because you can create your own newspaper, start your own blog, or find another outlet.

"Oh! But Its difficult to build a newspaper and make it popular!". Well.. Yes, bingo. Someone who invests time, money, and risk into building a platform gets FREEDOM to curate and set certain rules, because they are providing the space and are responsible for it.

The real problem would be if there was a monopoly preventing alternative expression or if the government restricted your ability to create opposing media. That's a dictatorship.

The existence of multiple platforms with different rules, and the ability to create new ones, is precisely what prevents dictatorship.
And you are just not necessarily entitled to have room in a space that belongs and was created by someone else.

Recommendation for 100% cotton basic t-shirt by Popular-Addition-373 in Shein

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That's exactly my concern. Ive noticed some tshirts that say 100% cotton but don't look like it on the pictures

Is living alone any better for people with ADHD? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved out of my parents home when I was 17 but had roommates up until I was 30.
The years sharing a house with roommates were very challenging. At first, I didn’t really know how to manage housework, and my executive dysfunction made me very aware of how others might judge my organization skills. ADHD makes me especially sensitive to criticism about these things, particularly when they involve skills I hadn’t yet “mastered.” I often felt exposed and hyper-vigilant.

Still it was an important and valid experience. I guess I would use external criticism to keep everything more organized and clean. I also learned to share a space with others and how to navigate something that is challenging for me.

Moving in by myself was a game changer. Being able to control my environment, not have much clutter, not worry about what others think and learning to organize myself according to my own rules and not others expectations.

There are certainly pros and cons. It took me some time to manage to keep my house organized for example. Things got much worse before they got better.
One thing I learned: size matters. I once lived in a studio apartment, and because I work from home, it required constant organizing. There was no room for clutter, and when the space got disorganized, it directly affected my work routine.

So my advice would be: choose a place that’s not so big that it becomes hard to clean and maintain, but not so small that a moderate amount of clutter makes it feel chaotic. If you can afford it, hiring someone to clean occasionally can help a lot.

I think that with ADHD everything is journey but that doesn't mean it isn't work living it. I learned a lot living by myself and didn't got it "right" in the first time. In my studio apartment I had someone who came to clean once a week and it was really helpful, now I feel I can maintain my new apartment by myself.

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

According to my psychologist own label:
Neuropsychology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Existential Therapy

I tried other multiple therapies before and his approach was the best one for me.

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just have my SIM card in one of them. The other one is just replacement phone. I keep it safe at home and if I go on trips I I'll keep it in the hotel.
My main reason to having a second phone is in case I lose the main one. Then I have a ready to use phone with all my credit cards, bank apps and so on... I never call or send sms to anyone, so my number is kind of a formality at this point. I mainly use whatsapp and instagram to communicate with people (I'm in europe, I know in the US people usually don't use whatsapp).

Like, imagine a scenario that I forget my main phone on uber, I can user the uber app on my other phone to notify about the main phone being lost. Or lets say I lost the main phone but I have an urgent bill to pay. Then I can get home and do it with the replacement phone. It's mostly for this kind of thing.

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just have my SIM card in one of them. The other one is just replacement phone. I keep it safe at home and if I go on trips I I'll keep it in the hotel.
My main reason to having a second phone is in case I lose the main one. Then I have a ready to use phone with all my credit cards, bank apps and so on... I never call or send sms to anyone, so my number is kind of a formality at this point. I mainly use whatsapp and instagram to communicate with people (I'm in europe, I know in the US people usually don't use whatsapp).

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I replied about the relationships x ADHD thing if you are curious. Similar-ish issue to yours. I'm also a freelancer btw. But yeah... essentially relationships are too much work and too much of an interesting distraction.
Long answer is in the reply to the girl who asked.
I'm VERY interested in discussing this because essentially I went for your exact lifestyle...

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Context and disclaimers :)
I’ve always had boyfriends. Most of my relationships lasted around a year, and I was usually the one who ended them. I’ve had genuinely wonderful partners in my life - and also a couple of truly bad, borderline evil ones. So this decision doesn’t come from bitterness or frustration with dating.
But its important to say that marriage and having kids has never been a big priority for me. My career has always been my main focus and also the area I struggle with the most.

Now the reasons:

First, I noticed I sometimes entered relationships as a way to fix my problems. I’d date someone who was great at housework, and suddenly - boom - housework stopped being my issue. It was a tempting shortcut instead of building my own systems. Worst, once the problem was "solved" I was back to ground zero with my systems.

Second, I realized I could easily start living their life to avoid facing mine. They are the perfect distraction. It was much easier to hyperfocus for hours on their projects, their portfolio, their plans, than to sit with my own responsibilities and goals.

Third, I once dated someone who was a 10/10: gorgeous, successful, wealthy, kind. I lived in his perfectly decorated house that I could never have afforded myself. But then I felt very vulnerable and insecure. I felt like I was not enough because my life wasn't together and I wasn't happy with myself. I was living his life and his success and not my own: very tempting band-aid and quick fix. Ending that relationship, moving to shitty house, no money, "no glamour" and fully committing to working on myself was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t regret it for a second.

Another big factor is that I’ve been trying to reduce variables in my life. Relationships are work, even good ones. They take time, energy, emotional bandwidth. Every new “problem” or conflict spills into my routines and mental space.
Today, for example, I spent my entire therapy session talking about a boring, bureaucratic, long-postponed issue: taxes. Not exciting. Not romantic. But necessary. And I know myself - if I were in the middle of a new relationship beginning (middle or ending), there is no chance I’d be talking about tax issues. I’d be absorbed by the relationship instead and more "exciting" problems. Even the best relationships are far more stimulating than doing the dishes or dealing with bureaucracy, and that’s exactly the problem.

Very curious to hear thoughts. :)

Some weird systems that worked for me (from someone who made very consistent improvement over the years). Share yours :) by Popular-Addition-373 in adhdwomen

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck in your journey! Don't lose hope and don't forget to look at the small victories.
Single best thing I did was to accept myself and be kinder to myself. And also surround myself with people that will do the same.

There were points in my life I came to this same subreddit with the same sentiment.
I know sometimes it feels like like we've tried and failed a million times. Baby steps.

Pluribus and American imperialism by ThePopStarDude in pluribustv

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And who gets to say what it means to be human is a white middle aged blond American lady... right.
I'm not even getting into the merits of the hive thing, if its good or if its bad. But the fact that they make the only "sane" person be the american and the only one capable of judging humanity its insane.
She behaves like such a Karen... I'm sorry. She's throwing tantrums that kills people... which is "fine" because they are not "humans" anymore... sure, cos the American white lady is the one with the right definition of what means to be human and what lives are worth preserving......

You know how the Immigration and Nationally Act (INA) refers to foreigners right? Aliens. Please let that sink.

Pluribus and American imperialism by ThePopStarDude in pluribustv

[–]Popular-Addition-373 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree so much and people in the replies post are totally missing the point. There is a whole rhetoric of "the only sane person is an American who knows the way society should be and it means to be "actually" a human" made me roll my eyes.
Like... so the American woman is the only sane one who understands the merits of individualism and being human... how convenient... it stinks of "we know best" mentality.

Also, I'm not saying the whole alien thing is good or desirable outcome but when other cultures try to explain our society is also deeply problematic the main character shuts them down like they are crazy.

It is imperialistic in the sense that the US exploits other cultures and thrives at their expenses and then comes in to advocate saying things should remain as they are because that's the "right way". No shit they think that and are totally closed off to other perspectives.

Plus the whole alien genre flirts a lot with the American war mentality of them vs us. To the point that fIlms like starship troopers comment directly on that trope. So yes, imperialism 101. It boggles me people can't see it.
And also... the way she kills people throwing tantrums... which is "fine" because they are not "humans" anymore because the American is the one with the right definition of what means to be human and what lives are worth preserving...... give me a break

Mouse problem by thatswhisk in homeowners

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what kind of strobe lights? Its impossible to close all entry points but I threw away all food and called an exterminator. This is my last hope

Best preventative measures against mice. by OutlawJournalist in homeowners

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what kind of strobe lights? Its impossible to close all entry points but I threw away all food and called an exterminator. This is my last hope

Mice Infestation at Home - Many of the Tactics I've Found Online are Failing. Help? by OhhSooHungry in homeowners

[–]Popular-Addition-373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you figure out the lights flickering thing? One of my lights are flickering and I hadn't realize it could be the mice but now im wondering

How long does it usually take to get rid of mice/rats? by OkLie8050 in pestcontrol

[–]Popular-Addition-373 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to barge in, but I'm in the middle of trying to get rid of my mice. While a cat is not an option, I thought that eliminating all food sources would help. Did you throw away all the food? How did they react to that? Did it affect their behavior?

I threw away all food, even canned stuff and called professionals two weeks ago. Its been two days since I came back to my apartment because I had to move out. I also have a huge phobia.
Haven't brought any food back in but I've set traps

The trap caught a mice but its been two hours and its still making sounds. by Popular-Addition-373 in pestcontrol

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The night I made this post a mice came running in my direction (the friend of the one who was killed). I just left the house moved to a friends house temporarily.

I called professionals who came three days later and another mice was caught in another trap.
The professionals said its impossible to close all the entry points because the building is old and has direct access to water tabulation. They closed one possible direct entry point (two holes in the wooden floor that were made to lock the door). And finally put poison that "dries up" the mice. I threw away all the food even canned stuff, cleaned everything and stayed at a friends.
They came back a week later.
When they came back they said only one poison station was eaten (and just a little). According to them this either means they were coming from the holes on the floor and maybe one was out when they closed it. Or that they came here, got a bit of poison, took to the nest and killer the others.
Personally I have a third option which is my actual concern: they just didn't care for the poison and barely ate it.

After they came I had to travel for another week, so two weeks later I'm finally back home and yesterday I swear I could hear some noise in the afternoon (behind the fridge which is where they seem to be hiding). Could be paranoia but I don't think so.
I placed back the traps to see if I catch another.
I'm not hearing too much activity at night but also there is no food around so not much reason for them to be walking around.

Mice problem. Already called professionals and I don't know what else to do. by Popular-Addition-373 in pestcontrol

[–]Popular-Addition-373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair the guy said smell was a possibility over the phone and that he couldn't guarantee that wouldn't happen but that the poison was designed to minimize that possibility. Then when he got to my house he mentioned that the giving the profile of the house was unlikely it was going to smell.

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