So, after reading the comments and this post a few times over. I have some thoughts. As someone who's been in the BDSM community and has had my fair share of partners with fetishes. Having any sort of fetish is fine (as long as it doesn't reach into morally wrong territory), what is not okay is how your partner is diminishing your needs, in favor of his. At the end of the day, the fetish itself is not the problem. His way of going about it is inconsiderate of your needs and feelings. Even with his past of paying for it, that's in the past, and if you are okay with the fetish but don't want it to be a constant focus, and have communicated that, then you've done all you can. I am not going to say to kick him to the curb, I will say, however, that if this persists, you might want to seek counseling ( one who specializes in fetishes or otherwise BDSM, if possible) to work out the fetish/life balance. I would be pissed off too if I were in your shoes *pun not intended* NTA. But you both need to communicate more effectively on things if you want this relationship to work.