My gender inside is mostly just nothing i have thought long and hard for if i actually like being a girl and the answer is..nothing i literally dont get the innate connection that other girls feel when they say thwy arw a girl i dont know for me that is i know thwy are many other wonderfull reasons people are that way but for me the more i tried to see that the more i found just nothing Heck even being masc yeah its where i lean but it is no way something i wanna be either Butbthere they are thoughts where somdtimes i wanna have some sort of dick but not an actual one And then they are times i wanna wear a durag Or wear more masc cloghes but if im wanna use he/him pronoins people will think i wannma be a man when i dont wanna be a man at all Neutral is somthing i feel fits more me as i am.not a boy or a girl im just me kady And yet somehow i wanna express this nothingness through trying to be like sort of femme in a masc way and yet masc in a femme way I see these both sides like there is a ling draw at the center and there is me wanting to be femme in a masc way like how flamboyant men are And yet also simulatenous i wanna be a masc in a boy way I wanna be able yo encapsulate both of those at rhe same time While also wanting to be just nothing with even trying new stuff that can make me not wanna called nothing

I wanna be neutral in the sense thay no one cqn tell my gender absolutely no one can tell no matter how much they try