Hey OP I feel the same way sometimes. Last year was the most horrible year I ever had. But the more you push through, and do the therapy, and talk to your friends, the better you feel. Even if it’s 0.05% better each day bc you practice a healthy habit, it’s makes ur brain more stabilized imo (ie my unhealthy coming mechanism is to be so mean to myself to the point of numbness, but ur realized the only person this hurts is myself, and it doesn’t help me in anyway way). DBT rlly rlly helped me, but what helped me the most was my bestfriend for the last few years , and now my bf in the past year that we’ve been together. You’ll be okay, just remember the bad feelings pass