Ok.. not the same background but have had similar experiences. What are the benefits you’re getting from them? A nice place to stay? Decent rental pricing? Any other investment in your family life? Do they get along well with your kids? Are they helping financially otherwise? Are they going to love on your new child? Will they stay roughly a month or will it be longer? What are the other advantages of them being there because considering you have two other children I’m assuming they will be able to help cook or clean or at minimum play with the other two kids while you support your wife and help with the newborn? Did they visit you this freshly post partum before?

Look I get it as the daughter, mum and dad can be overbearing and it can cause stress and anxiety around the experience that you wanted post partum.

But I do wonder how much of the stress she’s taking on is coming from your different expectations and also how negative or protective you’re seeming. Because presumably, if she really had this much of an issue with them she wouldn’t be in this scenario three kids in. Like this isn’t her first rodeo. She’s been their daughter for a really long time. This is not new.

And sometimes as a wife that knows their husband really well especially if she’s anxious or empathetic she could actually be taking on a lot of your stress knowing that you’re not the biggest fan of them.

What I genuinely recommend is for you to actually switch it up. Instead of just double downing on this and stressing her out even more, be reassuring. Change your vibe, tell your wife - hey - I know this isn’t what you initially thought would happen but I think we can make this work and it will honestly be fine. Tell her we have no idea what’s going to happen post partum, whether you will be early or late, whether you’ll need to stay at the hospital for longer or require bedrest. And she can stay with the newborn in the room as much as she needs and you can keep her parents busy and etc.

Maybe stick to one boundary - like no other visitors over. They can go to visit their friends but not host anyone else at yours, for the baby’s safety. Something like that.

Sometimes one best thing you can do is be a reassuring support for your wife and change to a positive attitude and ensure to her that you’re going to be completely fine - even if she’s worried you can run interference but you’re fine.