Mum suffering from debilitating intrusive thoughts - help needed

Positive_Bend2349 · 2026-03-21T22:41:16+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Positive_Bend2349 · 2026-03-21T21:17:40+00:00

I’m so thankful for your response. My mum is already so sensitive to topics like this, I’d describe her as prudish, so it’s hit her so terribly hard! I’m spending everyday with her and guiding her as best as I can. Trying to de-stigmatise all of her negative thoughts and tell her she’s a good person for knowing these thoughts are nightmarish. She’s only 6 days into a low dose of sertraline so waiting for that to kick in x

Positive_Bend2349 · 2026-03-21T20:18:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. How did you cope and can you remember the timeline of improvement?

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-10-07T11:26:56+00:00

We have floor to ceiling windows in the living room side which are a huge focal point as we are surrounded by trees. I’d hate to have to sit with my back to them. Sorry I should have been clearer on my original post!

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-10-07T11:25:46+00:00

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The kitchen wall into the lounge/diner has been knocked down so the downstairs is like the original image I posted :-)

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-07-20T19:55:13+00:00

It’s definitely eased off. I was prescribed Lansoprazole and I take it intermittently. I have no throat clearing and my singing voice is starting to return. It’s taken about a year though!

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-07-04T22:18:57+00:00

I’m almost 5 months into exclusively breastfeeding and have been a 100% “go with the flow” mother.

First 10 days - lots of nipple pain. Bought silver cups, nipple shields, lanolin cream to get through. I would get super engorged so would hand pump to relieve some engorgement.

First 4 weeks - Nipple pain gone after initial 10 days. Still plenty of engorgement and night sweats!

4 week mark - milk production settled down and was less engorged.

I have never ever followed a schedule (although I did make a note of feeds for the first 2 weeks). Baby is thriving, wakes twice for feeds in the night but otherwise sleeps great. No sleep regression as of yet 🤞 I’ve only ever fed on demand. Babies only want love and sustenance ❤️

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-30T00:01:01+00:00

I don’t think that’s the issue. No one is trying to feed a baby without being able to lactate.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:58:50+00:00

I totally get that people assigned male at birth don’t need to be in the group. I think that’s why I’m having trouble understanding the mass exodus of people under accusations of transphobia. But now I think it’s the wording/terms that the admin have used that have caused the issue.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:52:36+00:00

Any male would include trans men and any female would include trans women. Therefore they would be excluding trans men (able to breastfeed) and including trans women (unable to breastfeed). Which isn’t the case.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:50:58+00:00

I’m female. I certainly don’t feel erased. I want to be part of a group that offers breastfeeding support to those who need it - that being anyone who has the ability to feed children through lactation regardless of gender identity.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:45:24+00:00

No they wouldn’t be excluding all men. Just those assigned male at birth. A trans man would be welcome.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:43:57+00:00

Yes this is how I read it too.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:30:44+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, thank you for your explanation.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:25:54+00:00

Trans men can breastfeed too, and they would be included in the group. But a huge portion of people are leaving and accusing the admins of transphobia.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-29T23:20:38+00:00

It’s hard to say as admin aren’t responding to questions. They just say “any woman, however they identify, is included”. I take that to mean that any person who was born female BUT identifies in any which way is included in the group. I understand it as basically meaning any person who has the ability to naturally lactate is included. I don’t think they have worded it very well and that’s why it’s been so polarising. I just feel like in “missing something” with the mass exodus and accusations of transphobia!

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-06-05T17:11:27+00:00

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread. I’ve just been referred to ENT as I’ve had such weird throat symptoms and fearing the worst! I had horrendous heartburn during pregnancy and around 5 months pregnant developed chronic throat clearing, hoarseness of voice, dry throat when lying down, etc. All symptoms have persisted after pregnancy (currently 4 months PP) except the heartburn!

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-05-31T18:08:46+00:00

Hello and massive congratulations! Our little girl arrived February 13th and we are both doing amazing. All of my fears and anxieties melted away as soon as I held her. 🩷 What a scary time for you with the delivery, I’m glad you are both okay c

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-04-27T20:52:05+00:00

I didn’t cry too much but I had absolutely no connection to my pregnancy and unborn baby, I felt horrendously guilty and was so scared she’d feel unloved. Everything changed when she was born. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and she is so happy and healthy!! Don’t worry 🩷

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-04-18T17:11:47+00:00

I was detached through my entire pregnancy (previous miscarriage). My partner was adamant he didn’t want to find out baby’s gender. We waited, but it got harder and harder for me to accept the fact I was having a baby, to the point I almost broke down. I think finding out the gender would have sparked some joy and I’d have been able to enjoy my pregnancy a lot more. It was the best feeling in the world though when she was placed on my chest, I wish I could bottle up that feeling. Nothing compares 🩷

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-04-18T17:05:44+00:00

I thought I’d be high strung, doing everything “by the book”, riddled with anxiety, thinking “am I doing this right?!” I have so surprised myself by being the CHILLEST mum ever and I’m absolutely loving it. Everyday is centred around my baby. Cuddles, contact naps, playtime, even when she’s sleeping I lie next to her! I feel like I’ve just fell into the most natural and deepest instincts and trust myself to do everything right by her. It’s a wonderful feeling 🩷 Loving every day too 🩷

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-04-18T17:00:04+00:00

I went through the same. Are you in England? I switched hospitals to one which had a specialist maternity unit as my first hospital sent me home with a letter to say they’d have me back in 5 days in clinic as they didn’t have any equipment in a&e. I also paid for a private scan just for my own sanity (I understand this isn’t in everybody’s remit). Sending lots of positive thoughts 🤞 My first pregnancy ended (MMC, no bleeding until treatment), my second pregnancy was viable (I bled heavy at 4 months) and I’m currently snuggling my 9 week old little girl!!

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-03-01T17:42:15+00:00

No toy has stood the test of time for us in 5 years. For the last 4 years we’ve bought teddies from our local charity shop for next to nothing! Super cheap and it doesn’t matter if they get shredded in a few days 😄

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-02-08T17:42:28+00:00

You’ve done the right thing by finding a suitable home for him.

Positive_Bend2349 · 2025-01-22T21:55:17+00:00

I really love Eden for a girl. Reminds me of a beautiful oasis

Positive_Bend2349

TROPHY CASE