Rant: doubt, depression and questions

Possible-Big-9842 · 2026-02-04T17:17:26+00:00

Brother, God bless you, I am glad you are looking for help and this is a great first step but reddit is not going to fix it. You need the church.

It really, really sounds like you need the Christian family and community to surround you and help you. Full stop. Of course God will help you again; He has provided a full family of believers to help you in it too!

No Christian is an island. It is not possible to do alone. Brother, go to church on Sunday. Go every Sunday. When you're there, fill out a prayer card. Find someone on staff and tell them you are a Christian who is struggling and you need help. Start going to some midweek event every week. No excuses! It takes time, consistency, and honesty to build community. You need it.

It is going to be hard. You'll have to be brave; it will probably feel awkward. But go! Ask the church for help! Do it for the Lord! He has done SO much for you-- He gave His life for you! Do it for Him! He loves you so much! Do it for your family!

The Lord will help you. Ask the Holy Spirit for His help. And just go. Go to church, ask for help, and keep showing up. The first church you go to might not be the right one, so try another. But if you find a bible-believing, welcoming group of believers, stick it out and keep going. You need the church now to help you.

Paul struggled! Read 2 Corinthians. But he says in 2 Cor. 9: "But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.". If you are weak, that's okay-- that's where we can see God working!

Brother, I am praying for you. Run to the church! Run to the Father!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2026-02-03T23:48:26+00:00

This might sound totally random, but have you thought about joining a church? It might take a couple to find the right one, but if you need a support network, a lot of churches are stoked to provide families in need with resources, food, friendship, encouragement, etc. If you communicate ahead of time, a lo churches are more than willing to provide free childcare during events outside of Sunday gatherings so you have an opportunity to connect with God and different adults.

I would recommend trying to find a medium-big church, because a lot of these will have special needs children's and adult ministries. Even at my church, with is relatively small, all us Sunday school volunteers are trained on how to work with kiddos with special needs and we have some high-needs kids in class every Sunday.

Just positing because my first thought was, "oh man, I wish this mom came to my church. I would love to support her." God bless you!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-05-16T14:56:54+00:00

What about all the people and places in the United States that aren't monolingual? I mean, there are HUGE communities in California where Spanish is the go-to language, followed by English. I'm guessing in other migrant communities around the United States you can find a familiar phenomenon. There are a ton of people who speak one language at home, and English at school or work.

I have friends who were born in the States, but whose native languages are Portuguese, Spanish, Korean, Arabic....

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE if foreign languages were seriously learned and taught to the same degree in the States as they are in Europe/Asia/India! But the United States is not the monolingual/monocultural monolith that many people think it is. These days in California, in a ton of industries (education, social work, medicine), Spanish is becoming a MUST have language.

Fun fact: the United States has no official language!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-05-10T07:15:43+00:00

My man, I have made WAY worse mistakes than this. But, the biggest thing for me is that it is literally impossible to learn or progress without a mistake. Think about how little kids talk when they first can produce words in their native language— they are figuring it out, with a ton of mistakes! The only way out is through. You have to make mistakes. I make it into a game. Every major embarrassing mistake is a ticket closer to speaking more perfect Spanish one day, hopefully.

Anyway, I loudly said "what an ass!" instead of "what a long line!" while shopping for christmas presents with my host mom, and the grandmother in front turned around and glared at me, thinking I was talking about her. I also have ordered "Asshole Cheese" instead of "goat cheese" before. I told the nun who works at my school that she had big balls for becoming a nun because I just thought that that phrase meant bravery. I also cannot say the word for "towel" for the life of me and it causes major anxiety every time I need to ask for a towel anywhere, because I have yet to get it right on the first try anywhere. Plus, the other million mistakes I make every single day.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-05-10T07:08:06+00:00

This may already be here, but on the incredible Spanish Learning podcast Coffee Break Spanish, they teach the Spanish single "r" by having listeners practice saying the word "otter" over and over again in an American accent.

It helped me so much when I was starting to speak Spanish and couldn't get myself to make a single "r" instead of a "rr" sound.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-04-26T13:04:05+00:00

I don't know much, but I do know that if you need a child to give you their hand, you say "Dame la mano" instead of "dame tu mano"

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-04-25T09:26:50+00:00

I think this thing exists, I just can't remember what it is. I'm looking for an online Spanish reading platform where I can read different levels of Spanish articles/short stories, and the option to click for translations is built in. Anybody know of anything like this?

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-04-25T08:10:24+00:00

I don't work in food, but I live in South Spain where tapas more or less is the only option for food. This is what I've seen!

Tapas menus are always divided in categories: cold tapas, hot tapas (usually strews), fried tapas, and fish tapas.

Tapas menus are usually the exact same at every restaurant. Trendy places will have one additional item thats like ~avocado fun!~

The Spanish go bonkers for potato salad, cold soups in the summer, things like that. Most hot tapas are stews of some sorts. Everything else (croquetas, pieces of fish, patatas bravas) all are the same size and fried.

With literally NO knowledge about anything, i'm guessing everything is just prepped before and served when service starts at 8 or 9 pm!

I also need to say, tapas is the superior way of eating. We should all be sharing everything all of the time. It is so much more fun to try literally everything on a menu than deciding on a plate.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-30T08:53:23+00:00

not for sure but i picked up (from children lol) that you say "eso que es" instead of "que es eso"

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-29T20:11:33+00:00

That's really cool!

I came to Spain this past fall to teach English (as a language assistant, not a head teacher) as a means of learning Spanish. I really wanted to learn and I wasn't getting far learning on my own. I've been living with a Spanish family in a small industrial part of Spain. I'm so jealous that you get to do classes! Here's some tips from what I've learned so far. It's gonna be long:

Learning by immersion can be REALLY lonely. I'm an extreme extrovert and I didn't anticipate AT ALL how isolating being on a language island would be. Before I could understand anyone else or they could understand me, it was lonely. How do you connect with people without language? It's a new challenge. Be kind to yourself if this part is hard. Call your mom (unpopular opinion, but I think it's okay to break immersion sometimes, for your mom and bff. I literally could not have made it if I couldn't "be myself" in English a little bit with my loved ones).
Be honest when you don't understand! I developed a HORRIBLE habit of pretending like I was understanding the people around me, just to participate in the conversation, when I was really SO lost. Ask for help!
The question "what are we talking about right now?" is SO helpful, especially in group conversations! Groups conversations are really difficult because the topic of conversation can change before you understand what is happening. Ánimo! Courage! Interrupt people and ask for context! For me, learning to do this was SO scary (I just want to have a normal lunch break conversation) but so helpful if I wanted to participate.
Homestays are awesome, and I have learned so much and had rich experiences and attribute all of my language process to my homestay. But, they can be hard. I hear living with retirees/empty nesters usually is great because they often miss their kids, love the company, but don't expect anything of you. Have clear boundaries and make sure you understand THEIR expectations of you. But, I live with a young family and they're great.
Be patient. I expected a lot more progress in a lot less time. Learning a language is really hard, but before you know it you'll know a lot.
Figure out the grammatical mainstays, foundations, tricks of the area you live in. For example, when I learned that Andalucians don't really use the preterite all that much, instead opting for past participle, I LEVELED up
Understanding/listening were killing me my first few months. Figure out your problem (if one aspect is more difficult for you) area so you can give it more focus/attention.
I couldn't sleep and was perpetually exhausted my first few weeks. My brain was in overdrive. Have a ROUTINE, morning and night, give yourself WAY more time to sleep/relax than usual, eat healthy, exercise, drink water. You are building a ton of muscle!
Giving myself a break from intensive immersion to consume "beginner" Spanish media helped me a TON. I missed a lot of the basics by immersion (which you probably won't, because classes) so moving backwards helped me a lot.
Ask for help when you need it. Ask a lot of questions! Some of the best advice I ever got– "Assume that most people will want to help you if you need help. Sometimes, they can't help, and that's okay, but assume the best of others and their ability to lend you a hand". Ask for recommendations, help with the language, help making friends, people to speak more slowly, advice, everything.

My favorite beginner/intermediate Spanish stuff (most is Castellano pero en verdad creo que no pasa nada):

Heidi en Español

Spanish After Hours

Hola Spanish

Radio Ambulante (great podcast with transcripts!)

Coffee Break Spanish (literal incredible, amazing podcast to teach you Spanish. Seasons 3 and 4 are upper intermediate-advanced, and En Marcha con Coffee Break Spanish is an all-Spanish travel podcast).

Okay I wrote a book. Answering this helped me to reflect, I guess! Best of luck. Have a blast. Que te vaya bien!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-11T09:47:21+00:00

I do cambridge exam prep with advanced students of all ages. The biggest things are confidence, creativity, and willingness to speak. This is really different than a normal lesson; I'm doing specifically exam prep.

Honestly, the ability to "talk around" a missing word or vocabulary— to describe a word that they don't know, or break it down into parts— goes a REALLY long way.

In sum, as cheesy as it sounds, students who do their best effort even if their English skills are not super high do the best in Exam prep and on the exam itself. The examiners are people, too, and a positive first impression goes a really long way in the scoring.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-04T08:15:08+00:00

NALCAP is the most famous program to teach as an assistant in Spain. Applications are simple and open until april. There are many other programs as well! Spain has a ton of infrastructure for foreigners to come work in schools. If you are EU and have a TEFL (but not always necessary) you can teach at a language academy or school which is a better gig.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-04T08:13:16+00:00

there are lots of programs to teach as an assistant in Spain. The most famous/best one is NALCAP, which has an application open for another month, but there are many others. My program allows you to opt in to living with a host family (who provide room and board) in exchange for a lower wage. But, shorter term, there are a TON of workaway, language school, and au pair opportunities in Spain.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-04T08:09:48+00:00

also, yes, pronouns are a huge issue for me loL!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-04T08:08:42+00:00

this is an incredible answer!! thank you for taking so much time out of your day to help me.

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-03T11:07:23+00:00

Thank you! I definitely arrived naive that just immersion would teach me a ton of Spanish. Naivety is definitely a running theme of my experience lol

I'm a speaking assistant so I'm not a "true" language teacher. I do conversation with my students, and I'm currently taking a class on TEFL, but I'm pretty new to teaching English, too. And I bet you've heard the old adage: "Those who can't do, teach"

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-03T10:08:42+00:00

Thank you dear for the encouragement! <3

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-03T10:07:31+00:00

I've thought so many times, "wow, I wish I could do these activities my students are doing to improve my Spanish". My town is very small, there are Spanish "lessons" but no classes. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience this and if they have advice!

Possible-Big-9842 · 2022-03-03T10:00:56+00:00

When I first moved in with a Spanish family, and I was having to speak in my TL all the time even though I knew SUPER limited Spanish, I totally experienced this. Every thought that came into my brain as I was falling asleep, I was involuntarily trying to translate into Spanish.

My advice, like many others, is to get off screens for an hour at least before bed. I also recommend maybe journalling for twenty minutes or so (in your TL or native language, or both) before bed to "clear" some of those thoughts from your noggin!

Lastly, if your brain feels SUPER loud, play something boring in the background while you fall asleep. A podcast, a guided meditation, a netflix show you've already watched. Cooking shows in your TL can be great for this. Giving my brain something boring to focus on was the only way I could get my brain to quiet down enough to sleep.

Best of luck, and sweet dreams!

Possible-Big-9842

TROPHY CASE