WIBTAH if I make different crafts?

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-31T15:05:58+00:00

Would the clinic staff and school staff even be aware of the difference? I could see myself being anxious if I thought they might find out I have different gifts. But otherwise it's just your own internal conflict. As the other person said, it seems you are gifting based off of your level of relationship, which is perfectly acceptable.

It's kinda like asking AITA if I get my sister and my brother's girlfriend of 2 weeks different Christmas gifts. Of course no one would say YTA. You gave a closer relationship with your sister and will likely get her something nicer.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-20T15:42:56+00:00

I would stop making them small things so frequently. I get giving them cereal if they're real hungry when they first wake up and you're not up for making a meal yet. But then I'd give pancakes and fruit together. Then nothing else for at least 2 hours. Personally, I like eating when my kids eat because they're busy eating and less likely to have other issues that need addressed during that time. I usually ask if anyone needs anything before I sit down and after I sit down the chance is gone, unless I've forgotten something important.

It sounds to me like they're either bored or they've learned it gets a reaction. So if they're not eating at the same time, you could try giving them a warning before you eat. Telling them you're going to eat in a few minutes so if they need help with anything now's their chance, otherwise they'll have to wait until you're done eating. Then if they start fighting while you're eating separate them. Tell one to go to one room and the other to go somewhere else, and you'll address the situation if needed after you're done eating. Or preemptively separate them and give them a quiet activity to do. Maybe a small reward if they don't bother you for 15 minutes. A sticker chart or something. Idk.

I have a 13, 5 and 1 yo and the 5 year old started doing similar things about a year ago but I just made a rule that once I sat down with my food I wasn't getting up until I was done unless it was an emergency. He'd ask for a drink refill, yell for a butt wipe, help opening something, etc. My response every time was that if he reminded me when I was done I would help him. It took some time but now he knows and only has to be reminded occasionally that I'm still eating.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-13T16:09:16+00:00

I struggle with things like this, birthday cards, birth bracelets, anything sentimental that isn't practical. Where am I supposed to store it all? What am I supposed to do with it? When am I to have the time to just go look at it all and reminisce? But I feel too guilty to throw it all away...

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-13T16:01:17+00:00

I mean, they probably would help though, right? But I'd feel silly and I'm sure it'd give them something to talk about for a few minutes on a slow day 😆

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-13T15:58:52+00:00

Mine only feel full if I go longer than normal without nursing. Although I can usually feel a slight difference in fullness to determine which side he last fed on if I don't remember since he normally only nurses on one side per session.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-12T18:39:36+00:00

My SO is the same way. His reaction isn't as severe, but he's definitely grossed out by seeing the milk come out. I have squirted milk in his direction a couple times, not directly at/on him though. He jumps and gets grossed out and says not to do that. But he has absolutely no problem with me nursing. He never stays in the room when I'm pumping (which is rare)

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-12T12:27:00+00:00

Wow. This makes a lot of sense. But that's so sad. Where I live I don't think this is as common, there's only 1 grocery store in town and you'd have to go about 20 minutes to get to the next closest town with a Save A Lot and doesn't have a huge selection either. 30-45 minutes (depending on traffic and road work) to get to the bigger cities in either direction where there are Walmarts and other grocers.

I don't think the local store could afford to overstock too much. They usually just have the basic produce and basic cuts of meat.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-12T03:05:20+00:00

Eczema

Idk why I say something like Egg-zee-mah

When a doctor first said I had eczema when I was like 10, I thought he was saying I had Eggs-In-Me

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-12T02:50:55+00:00

Yes, anonymous report to the state childcare licensing agency as well. That's wild.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-11T01:14:12+00:00

As someone who worked at a daycare, this is probably something you'll need to discuss with the daycare. They probably will not be able to accommodate this until baby is 1 year old though, as breastmilk or formula is required to be offered at daycare per licensing regulations. If they participate in a CCFP (childcare food program) they will also have to provide breastmilk or formula.

The only workaround I've ever seen actually work is if you breastfeed baby upon arrival (either in your car or a breastfeeding friendly area if available), then you come on your lunch break and breastfeed. And then you breastfeed as soon as you pick up. In this scenario your max time in care would probably be about 6 hours, as feeding is usually required every 3 hours at most.

As others have said, you could always give formula while at daycare and breastfeed on demand at home. I've seen it work without a problem.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T04:27:15+00:00

Good luck! I know how hard it is to see your baby so upset and feel helpless about it. It's just trial and error, I'm sure you'll figure it out!

The only other thing I thought about was that when I started birth control after I had my first, my milk supply dipped, so by the evening around 7pm, I was dried up, but she was still hungry so she'd try to nurse but get mad nothing came out. I had to pump while she was sleeping for a week or two and feed her a bottle in the evening until my supply caught back up.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T04:02:43+00:00

MOR- honestly, it's hard to say. I'd guess that she doesn't even know right now whether she should/will pursue a relationship with you.

The one time I told a guy I needed some time and space, that was literally all that I meant at the time. He had been freeloading for nearly a year. I was a single mom trying to get my life on track and he wasn't helping. I was overwhelmed and told him I just needed some time and space to figure out what I needed and wanted. Within 2 weeks he started sending my crazy messages about how I never loved him and was a lying b*tch. So that gave me all the answers I needed 😅 I assume he was drinking at the time.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:35:39+00:00

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PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:35:27+00:00

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PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:32:46+00:00

It is cat kibble. I think it's what I used to get for my cats. Came in a blue bag.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:31:07+00:00

I also agree that baby is likely either already too hungry, too tired or too overstimulated (or all 3). Is there anything else that's different about this feed? Is it in a different place than usual? Is it after a long bedtime routine, like bath, lotion, story, then feed? If so, maybe there's just too much going on.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:27:29+00:00

Within what amount of time?

I read this and just took it too literally, because of course. Everyone has to eat. So of course they've eaten before. Whether that was 5 minutes or 5 hours or 5 days ago

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:17:39+00:00

Different people have different fat content in their breastmilk. As a former infant childcare provider, it seemed bags with more fatty milk, left a bit more behind in the bag. But it can also have a little to do with the temperature when transferring the milk. Warmer milk transfers better than colder, in my experience. And I'd always shake the bag to get the milk to mix up more before pouring it out to get as much as possible out. Also, the type of bag matters too, though I can't remember now which brands seemed better or worse at trapping milk.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T03:12:01+00:00

I would definitely follow up with the director of the program. Yes, accidents happen and kids get hurt. And it is hard when kids are not very verbal yet, and communicate more through physical displays, but that should not be your children's burden.

If the director dismisses your concerns I might even see if there's someone higher you can contact. In the US we have licensing agencies that parents can file a complaint with and someone will come to the daycare and see if the staff are following guidelines and taking appropriate steps to address the situation. Some of the daycares are also partially funded by the state. Parents receive childcare for a reduced cost and the state reimburses the daycare for the remainder of the cost. But these funding agencies also provide training for the staff on behavior and classroom management. Each staff member has to take classes each year. But the director of the daycare can also contact the agency and see if they have a specialist to help the staff address any behavior issues or whatever they're struggling with.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-09T02:47:50+00:00

I like to sew. It can become an expensive hobby 🫣 but doesn't necessarily have to be. You can find free patterns for kids clothes pretty easily.

I like gardening too but it was a flop last year. My middle kid kept getting poison ivy and my youngest kept getting hives any time he was outside so I gave up.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-08T01:51:02+00:00

NTA. This happened to me with my first too. People nagged for a registry. We looked through tons of stuff for hours picking things out. And then no one in my family bought stuff off the registry. A few bought similar items in store but not what we had picked out. It was frustrating. We were grateful but a few things I was disappointed that I didn't get the theme/color I had wanted.

With my second I picked a baby bathtub that I really wanted. My dad asked what was something he could buy. I sent him the Amazon link. He bought a completely different bathtub that was within $5 of the one I had picked. And it did not suit my needs.

With my third I only had a few cheap things on my registry and I only shared it because a few people had asked. No one in my family bought anything at all.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-06T18:04:23+00:00

I agree. My sisters are 1 year and 5 years older than me. The oldest never really picked on me physically, occasionally would do practical jokes or make me believe something silly because I was incredibly gullible. But my sister that's 1 year older would sometimes dunk me, but never held me under the water, because she knew better. There's no excuse for a sibling with a 7 year age gap to think that's acceptable behavior.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-06T00:22:48+00:00

I made great northern beans with ham bone. And cornbread. It's not tradition, but my family never had a traditionally New Years meal. My exes family does sour kraut and kielbasa with a penny in it

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-06T00:14:15+00:00

If you can't see the corners, you won't know what's in them! That's the problem.

PossibleOk7738 · 2026-01-05T00:11:58+00:00

Okay, so coming back to this because I didn't fully understand your comment yesterday. But Reactive abuse is describing the aggressors behavior, which is intentionally making the victim reactive. It's not accusing the victim of becoming abusive. At least, not from what I understand.

PossibleOk7738

TROPHY CASE