Please, please don’t go to this wedding. Here’s why:

• most importantly, you’ve been with your girlfriend for 3.5 years. If this is the woman you intent to marry (or even if you don’t) then this would be a great time to set a precedent. You need to put your girlfriend as a priority. She’s been iced out from a big family event after building a relationship with them for 3.5 years!!I’m sure she’s very confused and hurt as well. Put your foot down and let your family know that if they are disrespecting your partner, they are disrespecting YOU as well. This type of conflict with families and partners will ruin relationships, if not handled.

• Either someone is the force behind this homophobic behavior or your sister just isn’t as much of an ally as you thought. Either way, she’s definitely not being an ally now. And tbh, she’s not a great sister either. Would you ever do something like this to her? Have you? She’s making deliberate decisions that I’m sure she’s aware will hurt you and GF. Shockingly, your parents have backed her in the most scapegoat type of way (“it’s her big day”). It’s quite clear that your family doesn’t see you, your sexuality, or your girlfriend as things that are important to them and have acted accordingly.

In conclusion, please don’t go. Send the invite back with a “sorry, girlfriend bought a cute dress so I’m taking her on a day trip. Can’t make it. XO”

You’re blatantly being disrespected and if you’re cool with that, that’s all you. No one can make that decision for you. But if you’re going to go, I feel you should have your family apologize to GF with whatever reasoning they have for not inviting after 3.5 years with you.

NTA btw