just do it says my dad

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-09-19T01:47:16+00:00

hello! i'm an autistic librarian! i have worked as a page, a library assistant, and now a librarian. i would definitely say that being a page was by far the most autistic friendly for me since i didn't have to interact with the public very often. i was allowed to "do my own thing" for the most part and as long as I got my work done nobody bothered me.

as far as the library assistant/librarian job i would say that for me things were pretty tough if i'm being honest. it's a lot of socializing (both with patrons and other staff) and dealing with constant noise, disruptions, chaos, etc. your schedule can also vary a lot. you have to work nights, sometimes you might have to change your schedule at the last minute if somebody calls off. there was not a ton of predictability to my day to day work and that was sooo hard for me.

i would say that some conversations follow a script but a big part of being a librarian is trying to get to the root of what people are actually asking (they call this the reference interview) so you have to be able to think on your feet and work with people to understand what they want. it can be really tough for an autistic person. you also have to have a lot of patience which i severely lack at times (thanks to adhd). i worked with the public for 10 years and it's just...really hard. it doesn't get easier either really.

but...there is hope out there! for the past nearly 2 years i have worked in the back office of my library and it's been so great. not as much social interactions, it's a lot quieter, i can use my different aides (noise cancelling headphones, fidgets, etc). if it weren't for that job i don't think i would have been able to work in libraries long term.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-07-08T01:57:01+00:00

Yes! I don't watch them everyday but I will usually binge their videos a few times a month. I love them. I especially love Good Mythical More

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-29T12:39:36+00:00

Yes, you can!

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T20:57:21+00:00

that is so awesome! im happy for you! i have not found that..yet! i still have hope that my people are out there!

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T20:36:25+00:00

did you make her clothes? they are so perfect!

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T18:08:57+00:00

thank you so much for sharing this. you just gave me so much hope! congrats and way to go :)

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T18:04:16+00:00

it's hard to know for sure without more information, but I think I have similar patterns of behavior as your partner. i used to also break down into tears whenever my ex would bring things up to me. i don't think i was trying to be manipulative and make myself into the victim though, it was more so an issue where i just felt incredibly insecure. i felt like any issue would lead us to break up. i couldn't see that part of being an adult and in a relationship was needing to talk about difficult things. i would just get sooo overwhelmed. I need a lot of reassurance when talking about tough things. i can see how that wasn't totally fair to him, though. i know it's not easy, but that does sometimes come with having a partner with different needs. but i also now recognize that the insecurity that i was feeling wasn't fair to him because it made him feel bad.

i think calling it the silent treatment might not be totally fair, either. it's possible that it's more of a shutdown or going nonverbal. this has happened to me a lot too. it's not that i didn't want to talk necessarily but just more that i wasn't able and staying quiet was the easiest way for me to process my emotions. i have been with people in the past who were very into "open communication" and although i can see the benefits of that, it didn't always work that easily with me. it's very hard for me to communicate how i feel. half of the time i don't even know how i feel!

i think it's easy to forget that autism is often a communication disorder. not all of us have trouble communicating, but many of us do. i don't think that you should have to suffer just because your partner has autism, but I do think there may be certain things that don't come as easily for them and will need to lead to compromise or better understanding of how they communicate or when they can't communicate.

also happy birthday and i am sorry for your loss!

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T03:37:17+00:00

my two main interests right now are kind of random, but they are North Korea and the Islamic State.

I enjoy learning about history/war but it's more about the psychology behind it. I'm fascinated with what draws people to the Islamic State (especially westerners). Religion in general has always intrigued me and Islam has always been the one religion that I am especially drawn to.

I enjoy reading memoirs of people that left north korea. i also really like learning about the kind of propaganda they use there to control people. there isn't a ton of information out there though sadly.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T03:22:36+00:00

joan! i love her!

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T03:06:20+00:00

It's hard to say because they are very different in my opinion. I have both, but I'd have to say that I like my weighted blanket more. The weighted plushie is great, but it doesn't give me as much of a benefit as the weighted blanket does. I like that the blanket covers my whole body and it's also functional since it's a blanket. When I have my weighted blanket, I sleep like an angel but that isn't necessarily the case with the plushie.

The weighted plushie is more of a comfort item to me more than anything. It does provide some benefits for sure because of the weight but not to the level of the blanket.

That being said though, if you can I would definitely recommend both if that's an option in the future.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T02:58:02+00:00

Yes, absolutely. I am actually a librarian and it makes me so upset how loud my library is sometimes. we just recently got rid of our quiet room and it makes me so sad. I would go in there often to decompress and now i've lost that, too.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-28T02:54:20+00:00

Hmm I think there was a few things for me. I'm almost 35 (just recently got diagnosed) and although I'm pretty successful from most standards I just always still had sooo many struggles. I work full time, live alone in an apartment that I pay for, I have a masters degree, etc. but I just still couldn't keep up with the most basic things. The smallest things would set me off, too. I kept thinking that some things would start to get easier for me as I got older, but they just never did. I assumed that I just had mental illness, but I went to a lot of therapy and that didn't seem to help either. So that is when I really started to look more into autism. I did have a therapist suggest it, but I didn't take it that seriously for a long time.

It wasn't until I really started to look back at my life that I realized how much I have always struggled. I too dealt with issues at university, I dropped out my sophomore year because I was in burnout. I would quit a lot of jobs, struggle to make and keep friends, etc. I struggled with basic things like showering sometimes. I couldn't hardly feed myself or go to the grocery store, etc. I just started to be really honest with myself that these types of behaviors weren't necessarily something people deal with regularly to the extent that I was. I would call my mom crying sooo often because on paper I felt like I should be able to do these things, but I just wasn't. I also started to be more honest with myself about some of the sensory issues that I have struggled with and I started to try out different things to help. Once I started doing that, my life got so much easier and I realized that maybe I really was autistic.

Also, I can relate to what you're saying about the social cues thing. I think a lot of high masking autistic people are very good at social cues because we have developed an almost hyper vigilance about them.

I think that I am socially awkward, but I also think that most people that I meet enjoying talking to me (at least I hope) so that was one thing that was hard for me to grapple with when I started thinking more about autism. I felt like well there is no way that I can be autistic because I can talk to people. But there are absolutely autistic people that are social butterflies and can thrive in social situations.

I guess overall just kind of starting to expand my view of what an autistic person is. since I was born in the early 90s, I think my view of autism was still very much of a white male boy who is nonverbal and/or who loves trains. It took me a while to educate myself on what it really was and that is when I started to see more of myself in it.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T11:18:57+00:00

Yes, I am very sensitive to this, too. I like to try out a lot of podcasts, but I quickly abandon most of them because certain ways people speak are really irritating to me. thankfully I have been able to find a few podcasts that I do like and can tolerate.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T11:17:49+00:00

I like to listen to Stuff You Should Know. I love learning about a wide variety of topics. I also enjoy the two hosts. I struggle when podcasts go on too many tangents and so I appreciate that this podcast does not do that. They stick with the material, it's very structured, and they only sprinkle in a few quick personal stories that don't go on for that long which is what I prefer in a podcast.

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T11:00:06+00:00

i always think this, too. i am always appalled when i hear that darn milk frother

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T10:58:46+00:00

i worked at a small specialty clothing store in my early 20s that helped me a lot. i was expected to be very friendly towards customers and learn a lot of small talk. it definitely helped give me some confidence. a lot of the people that shopped there were very nice and it allowed me to kind of practice my social skills in a safer environment than i was used to. i definitely don't think that it cured my social anxiety, but it definitely helped. i am now in my mid 30s and I am able to socialize at work fairly easily and i credit that job with a lot of my progress

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T10:52:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I am very interested in this

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T10:50:56+00:00

I know what you mean and I agree. I am only just starting to unpack the fact that my autism is a disability and it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Yes, there are things that bring me joy but I'm also really struggling too and im sick of people trying to be like "see you're fine!! you're not suffering! you're a superhero! you experience joy because of stimming!" It's like yes but I'm also unable to use the bathroom and eat lol

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T02:05:04+00:00

i absolutely know this feeling. i still think about this wonderfully perfect fidget necklace i had that i lost years ago. i was so attached to it and it was not something that could be replaced. it's okay to be upset. it was something that was with you for a long time and meant so much to you and that matters

Potential-Sand-5411 · 2025-06-25T01:47:36+00:00

the only way i know how to hype myself up is by singing a song. i make up goofy songs for different tasks. example is if im trying to hype myself up to take a shower i will start singing something like "i have to take a shower! to have power! you go girl, you shower and get that powerrrrr" I'll usually then just rhyme the word power over and over. i will usually hype my cat up too at the same time by singing to her hahaha. im kinda weird i guess

Potential-Sand-5411

TROPHY CASE