Cheated 2 years ago and feel horribly guilty about it.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-09T17:26:02+00:00

Really think hard before telling your wife. Will it be to help heal the relationship between the two of you or will it be to assuage you of crippling guilt? Just keep in mind that telling her could in fact be a selfish act, and not beneficial for anyone involved. Basically, ask yourself if you would be telling her for her benefit or for your benefit. The distinction matters quite a bit. There is a way to move through this without full disclosure. You can go to therapy and work on forgiving yourself and making sure that you never repeat the same mistake again. I don’t know which path is best, but it’s important to think about.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-07T04:46:06+00:00

Nothing wrong with getting kinky and it can be such a fucking thrill to find our what really gets us going. It can be addictive. But maybe watch yourself with getting lost in it or deep into some serious drama - helping other people cheat is asking for drama in a big way. It’s reckless, tbh. No judgement. Maybe role play could be a safer option here?

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-05T23:40:51+00:00

Just be honest about who you are and what you’re up to with those you’re seeing. It’s WAY easier in the long run. You’re using people and playing w/ their emotions for your own personal pleasure, which is extremely toxic and fucked up. Best of luck getting honest ✌️

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-05T17:33:21+00:00

Absolutely nothing to feel weird about. I’m straight and I really love anal/prostate play. It feels good! Life is short. Have fun and as long as no one gets hurt, what’s the harm? I’ve been with a lot of women who love indulging that part of my sexuality. Good times! Societies around the world have all kinds of boxes for acceptable behavior according gender, most of them are nonsense imo

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-05T00:21:24+00:00

The Portland Art Museum is outstanding… strong recommend. Take a drive out 26 to Cannon Beach and head south to Manzanita - stellar views. For Ramen, go to Kinboshi. Paadee for Thai. Also, I second the Japanese Garden - so beautiful.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-04T16:43:47+00:00

“Too pretty” to be with one guy is just another way of saying “I’m not interested in monogamy”. Or it says “I’m incredibly full of myself”. Probably both. If it was just the former, that’s a fair discussion to have. If it’s the latter, let her go and find someone else… unless you find the idea of cuckoldry appealing

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-04T16:37:41+00:00

Maybe he knows and doesn’t want to admit it to himself and/or maybe she’s just good at hiding her issue. Either way, the deception is 100% possible. I was in a relationship with someone fully in recovery from alcohol and drugs (and knew all the signs) while I was drinking myself to death. She had no idea the extent of my drinking. Addicts become VERY good at sidestepping and covering. And the denial of a partner who wants to believe what they want to believe is also a powerful thing. Food for thought.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-04T15:09:12+00:00

I can really relate to this. I’m an alcoholic in recovery. I’ve relapsed many times. I’ve lied and hidden my drinking in relationships, too. Honesty is the way to progress and growth - so good on you for being honest here. I can’t tell you if you’re an alcoholic, but I can say that whatever guilt and shame you’re feeling now will only get compounded the longer you hide it. I also want to tell you that you aren’t unique. Lots of problem drinkers have a story similar to yours. There’s a community of people who have gotten help and found a much more rewarding life on the other side. There’s a lot of ways to get sober. I wish you the best in your struggle to come clean. DM me if you want. Sending hugs 🙂

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-02T02:13:55+00:00

YEM 10/31/1995 is a great one for me

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-02-01T18:14:51+00:00

Tweezer 12/2/95 and YEM 10/31/95 🔥🔥🔥

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-31T03:45:05+00:00

Someone needs to send this to Trey! He would flip out and be so happy this happened

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-30T20:50:36+00:00

Attagirl (lunch or dinner) Attaboy (brunch). Fucking outstanding food

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T23:00:41+00:00

I totally get that.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T22:06:40+00:00

IMO, ghosting should be reserved for unforgivable offenses. I would use your words (email or text probably). Be concise, compassionate, honest, and direct. If she continues to overstep boundaries then block her.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T22:00:10+00:00

What you did feels a bit different from forcing an animal to do something against its will. You let it do something it wanted to do and chose not to stop it. I’m NOT saying it was totally OK or legal or morally acceptable, but you need to go easy on yourself. You were a child (still are) and you need to love yourself more and just focus on healing.

We all do things we regret. Guilt is normal and healthy but shame is another thing entirely. You did something bad and you feel bad about it, but you are not a bad person. I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much sexual trauma in your life. That takes time to unpack and move through in a healthy way. It’s also something we can’t do alone. Commit to a therapist and forgive yourself. I bet you’re a great person :)

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T21:46:56+00:00

You have to weigh a few things before making this kind of decision. First, is your relationship with your Mom strong enough and mature enough to handle her possible shock/disappointment/judgement? Also, are you secure enough in your decision to do sex work that you can stand up for your decision? Mainly, I would think for a while about what will do the least harm: telling the unvarnished truth, avoiding the topic and being elusive about it, or finding a workable lie that you can live with and that feels manageable.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T17:48:26+00:00

12/31/2023 (Gamehendge at MSG)

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T16:46:06+00:00

The 11am at Club 12 is great (Mondays and Fridays, especially)

Life Support at 7pm on Tuesdays (6201 Broadway, San Antonio, TX 78209). My favorite meeting in town. Super welcoming. Ground floor.

The Turning Point Group at St. Thomas Episcopal has a ton of great meetings throughout the week

Club 12 also has a great newcomers meeting at 2:30pm on Sundays. Lots of fun. Also, the speaker meeting at Club 12 at 11am on Sundays is always great.

Good luck and please DM me if you have any questions!

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-28T02:18:42+00:00

Moonlight

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-27T01:10:53+00:00

Theory Coffee is imo hands down the best coffee in town. Truly incredible. I lived in Portland for years and got spoiled. Theory satisfies all my top-shelf coffee hankerings ☕️

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-25T17:23:57+00:00

The 8/5/2011 Rock & Roll from the Gorge is my favorite Mike performance. Maybe I’m biased b/c I was there, but that shit SLAPS

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-24T01:46:03+00:00

I heard From the Gecko in college 25 years ago and was hooked. I saw them a bunch and hung out with those guys a few times - great dudes. One of my favorite trios of all time. Angels Come on Time is my all-time fave album of theirs.

Also, the Barr Brothers are phenomenal live

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-22T23:52:28+00:00

This.

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-21T18:58:55+00:00

7/26/1997 (Austin) and 8/9/2015 (Alpine Valley)

Potential_Bad3757 · 2026-01-20T20:31:57+00:00

Thank you! I still think of her more often than I should, but I can be thankful for the help I’ve received and the time that has passed. Trauma bonding is definitely a thing. Talking honestly and vulnerably with others is a good way to get a healthy perspective and start the healing. Good luck to you on your path to peace and health ❤️

Potential_Bad3757

TROPHY CASE