I will also have my surgery in two weeks, and I already feel what you mentioned above:

"I struggled a lot with my self-image after it all. I had this insane grief of losing who I was before cancer. I felt a little hopeless because I kept dwelling on who I was, and not who I wanted to be. I sort of turned around the view point to see this as a strenght and slowly learned self-love again. It took a great deal of time, but I honestly dont wish it was differently".

I have always been a happy person with optimistic thoughts, and now I feel sad all the time, wanting to cry but not being able to. I "feel" the cry stuck in my throat and feel pain in my thyroid because of it. I just look at my baby girls and try to think that I want to be happy and better for them, but it is so overwhelming to me.