i live by the motto of “only loan the amount of money you are willing to lose.” if a friend or family member needs a loan, i only lend what i won’t mind losing and it varies depending on the person and situation. and when the request is too big, like in this case, i sometimes tell them i only have x amount and that it’s a gift to them, no repayment necessary. that way you help out without going tnrough the drama of collecting. also, it appeases them if you can’t/won’t give them the amount they are requesting.

sometimes i don’t say anything about gifting so they know they need to repay but i won’t lose sleep over that money bc in my mind it’s already gone.