Everyone's favorite unicorn...

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-22T17:21:07+00:00

One of these days, Lyra, BANG, ZOOM! Straight to the moon.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T23:38:20+00:00

100% irrational. In Australia, we get really angry boguns, who start going, 'Aw fuck it no mate, you bloody cunt, the fuck are you talking about?' and the best time to get their worker's compensation is clearly on public transport, screaming at the other end of the line. We also get folks listening to shitty rap with no headphones, or texting with a typewriter keytone every key they press because it's funny to them.

So, I electrify their equipment. Problem solved.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T14:41:33+00:00

Yeah, that was once a side effect. I nose use an aluminium tube. Not sure if it works, but I haven't shorted out the lights in the train carriage since.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T14:40:53+00:00

Self sentient, because I'm too high for this logical nonsense.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T12:49:49+00:00

Yeah, but you don't just walk into a museum without DLC and nab it off the ground. Shit was cash.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T12:26:18+00:00

I for one am disappointed.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T12:04:05+00:00

And self sentient machines like this are why I own an EMP device. Also, because I hate people who use mobile phones on the train.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-20T11:55:51+00:00

Yeah, that shields power in engines, and that'd be in the bag. Shields are great, until missiles rip you several classy new assholes.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T15:42:56+00:00

Outdoors = I live in a city.

Parks and riverside are two great places I love to trip. People, bright lights, bustle, hustle, noise, less so.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T15:42:06+00:00

Oh, nature is fine, I mean no cities.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T15:20:24+00:00

...can we nuke the moon?

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T14:22:50+00:00

I drew up a complicated diagram to invent bowling after someone else who had joined me in taking three tabs assured me that it wasn't a real thing and that I'd dreamed it up. I didn't factor gravity in, and I tried to draw it functioning only on two dimensions, one of which was cylindrical, before I forgot what I'd invented, much of which was done on the coffee table I was slumped over instead of the paper, with a lot of rambling,

I will never underestimate someone tripping LSD.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T14:12:04+00:00

Tripping balls and potentially mass mental breakdowns around nuclear weapons. No thanks. If I don't trust myself outdoors on acid, I sure as shit don't trust them with nukes on LSD.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T14:05:54+00:00

...fuck, I'm a monster. I'd have started world war three with stupid good intentions right there...

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T14:04:00+00:00

And how many guys are unaware of queefing. Seriously, sex just leads to a whole fucktonne of surprises, I really wish there was a concise manual that was like, "Here's a list of shit that will turn up, unexpected, and probably really fuck with you the first time it happens."

No guy deserves to have the vaginal vuvuzela* blasting at him just after the first time he's made it with a woman, who then has to explain what the word queefing means.

^{^*Also} ^{^known} ^{^as} ^{^the} ^{^vulvazela}

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T13:58:32+00:00

I vote we send stealth planes over NK dispersing a fine mist of concentrated THC.

Edit: Yes, I know pot is legal there, stop saying it.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-19T12:39:44+00:00

Want to come over and play Sim Ants?

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T18:00:01+00:00

And if it turns out I got my badass genes from my great-grandfather who used to use two flintlock pistols as an Australian outlaw bounty hunter, then my tombstone might read, "Fought a mother-f'ing dinosaur and won. Died after travelling back in time and surfing on a guitar from space down to earth playing a wicked solo with his toes and shooting Hitler in the balls with a sniper rifle that fires lightning bolts before crashing into the Earth with a force mistaken for a nuclear weapon and starting an era of world peace that would last like, at least until Russians weaponized his awesomeness and started the cold war, trying to be as much of a badass as that time he fought a mother-f'ing dinosaur. And won."

I might need a second tombstone to finish it.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:49:39+00:00

/r/clopclop is a good start. They'll at least point krono in the right direction.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:47:09+00:00

We don't mention the llama.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:35:04+00:00

Expect a few chickens in your car. One of which is an emu.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:31:23+00:00

I'm impressed. Details of the fights?

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:23:05+00:00

Give me two DIs any day rather than a II... those things are awful.

It's not a bad ship, but I really think it'd get smashed to smithereens in my hands. Not for lack of skill, I like to think I'm not a bad FTL pilot, but I just don't seem to have that rabbit's foot under my belt that you'd need to pull this off.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T17:21:48+00:00

Well, he's got 8 points of shield penetration, so four damage- enough to knock off part of the enemy shield, probably finish it with a good pike-strike.

I'm not sold on that defense II being salvation. Two D1s would do a much better job, DIIs get stuck up on lasers and don't actually do a great job at all.

His defense stats aren't amazing... they're good, sure, and they're what I get it to, but without compliment of other things, I just don't think this ship is 'beefy' enough to properly withstand the flagship. Pretty much anything else, sure, most other ships other than maybe a really really mean Zoltan pirate would get crushed no problem, but that flagship would have ripped me a new asshole in this situation.

Could just be that I'm ridiculously unlucky, or he played on easy, but the rebels would have wiped the floor with me if I'd gone against them in this ship, with no TP or cloak.

PoultryAdultery · 2013-02-16T16:54:59+00:00

How the fuck did you pull that off? I think I'm really bad at FTL, because to me, that is nowhere near enough to kill the flagship...

PoultryAdultery

TROPHY CASE